Chuck Norris.
09-06-2011, 02:49 PM
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Chuck Norris. While not officially a diplomat, Chuck Norris has his own seat at the UN. He walked into the building by accident in 1992 and sat down in a seat reserved for the representative from Denmark, who chose to sit cross-legged on the floor rather than risk asking him to leave.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it, honey." and went into his backyard. He came back 5 minutes later with a live turkey, at e it whole, and, when he threw it up a few seconds later, it was fully cooked and came cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris is considered a prime number in certain schools in Ontario.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it, honey." and went into his backyard. He came back 5 minutes later with a live turkey, at e it whole, and, when he threw it up a few seconds later, it was fully cooked and came cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris is considered a prime number in certain schools in Ontario.
09-06-2011, 03:12 PM
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While not officially a diplomat, Chuck Norris has his own seat at the UN. He walked into the building by accident in 1992 and sat down in a seat reserved for the representative from Denmark, who chose to sit cross-legged on the floor rather than risk asking him to leave.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it, honey." and went into his backyard. He came back 5 minutes later with a live turkey, at e it whole, and, when he threw it up a few seconds later, it was fully cooked and came cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris is considered a prime number in certain schools in Ontario.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it, honey." and went into his backyard. He came back 5 minutes later with a live turkey, at e it whole, and, when he threw it up a few seconds later, it was fully cooked and came cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris is considered a prime number in certain schools in Ontario.
09-06-2011, 10:07 PM
#7
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Chuckfacts are awesome!
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity..... Twice!
Chuck Norris doesn't need a Facebook or a twitter. He is already following you.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
dum
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
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There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
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Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
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Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
dum
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity..... Twice!
Chuck Norris doesn't need a Facebook or a twitter. He is already following you.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
dum
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
dum
Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
dum
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
dum
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
dum
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
dum
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
dum
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
dum
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
dum
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
dum
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
dum
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
dum
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
dum
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
dum
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
dum
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
dum
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
dum
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
dum
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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09-06-2011, 10:54 PM
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I'll play
when Chuck Norris jumps into a pool he doesn't get wet, the pool gets Chuck Norrised.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was "the force" in Star Wars
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight. The knife lost.
Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris swims through land.
when Chuck Norris jumps into a pool he doesn't get wet, the pool gets Chuck Norrised.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was "the force" in Star Wars
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight. The knife lost.
Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris swims through land.
09-07-2011, 10:35 AM
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chuck norris CAN eat just one lays potato chip.
How much chuck could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris? all of it.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. The heart lost.
How much chuck could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris? all of it.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. The heart lost.
