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Ford CEO Resigns

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Old 09-06-2004, 01:14 AM
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Exclamation Ford CEO Resigns

From Blue Oval News:
Here's one that just came across the newswire:

DEARBORN, MI (AP): At a surprisingly candid Sunday afternoon press conference Ford Motor Co. Chairman and CEO William Clay Ford, Jr. announced his resignation. "After being born and raised a Ford, with my family's name on millions of cars sold in every corner of the globe, after doing everything that I can to learn this business, to treat employees, suppliers, and customers like extended members of the Ford family, I have found someone that I can trust this company to." Ford then elaborated on his plan of transferring the dual roles of chairman and CEO to a relative newcomer to the industry.

"I have complete confidence that the troll known as 'hemisbc' on the Blue Oval News bulletin board has the talent, the knowledge, and above all else, the people skills to run this company." Ford, though fallen on difficult times lately remains one of the largest employers in the nation, and with revenue in excess of $140 billion last year, one of the largest companies in the world.

Analysts were quick to laud Ford's move. "I've read 'hemi's' stuff, and I agree with it one hundred percent, most of the time," said Forbes automotive columnist Jerry Flint. "There's no question about it, hemisbc's unending criticism of Ford products has shown us the way," said Thomas Spader, chief industrial analyst at Morgenstern, Philips, and Kleiner, a Wall Street investment bank which holds a "toss overboard" rating on Ford's stock.

When finally reached for comment at his small unplumbed farm house outside Texarkana, hemisbc had this to say, "Ford has a lot of purchasing power. We are going to start buying Chrysler 300s and putting Ford badges on them." When asked about Ford's current platforms, and upcoming designs, sbc had this to say, "Well, we're going to give all of this technology to the French government. We're just going to deed it over to them. I hate the French and I hate Ford's current products, their past products, and all their future products. Since I hate Ford and I hate the French, I think they deserve each other."

The French ambassador in Washington refused to comment. Peugeot PSA expressed interest in Ford's franchised dealerships, but only off the record.

When asked why he was turning over his company to someone so opposed to its products, Ford said, "Well obviously we can't do anything right. Hemisbc has pointed that out on the Blue Oval boards hundreds of times. Since he has such a firm grasp on all our mistakes, who better to trust the company to? Besides the man obviously knows what he's talking about."

Others are not so sure. Fellow contributors to the Blue Oval forum have noted several inconsistencies, contradictions, and outright distortions in his posts. Responding to allegations that his posts are frequently inaccurate, or that they fail to include important facts, hemisbc replied, "That sounds like a bunch of liberal Democrat welfare wagon driving elitist hogwash."

As it stands today, you can expect to walk into your local Ford dealership soon, and hear a positive response when you say, "That thing got a hemi in it?"

--Eileen Nordleby contributed to this article
Old 09-06-2004, 01:32 AM
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lol... I read that thinking it's serious news then it started sounding weird...
Old 09-06-2004, 11:16 AM
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Gotta love BON

Last edited by Shinkaze; 09-06-2004 at 12:08 PM.
Old 09-06-2004, 04:15 PM
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Old 09-06-2004, 10:12 PM
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ok
Old 09-07-2004, 08:28 AM
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That's absolutely the funniest thing I've read in a long time!
Old 09-22-2004, 06:25 PM
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Old 09-22-2004, 09:43 PM
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