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Hazardous Materials Chemical Analysis (woman)

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Old 10-06-2005, 06:40 PM
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Post Hazardous Materials Chemical Analysis (woman)

WORKPLACE
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMAN – A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 110 lb., but known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs.

PHYSICAL PROERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports car.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TEST:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to posses more than one.


A co-worker passed this to me, so I thought I would type it up to share. No offense ladies.
Old 10-06-2005, 10:17 PM
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Beautiful
Old 10-06-2005, 11:56 PM
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It is a very compeling list. Not as complete as it should be to hazards but OK
Old 10-07-2005, 12:42 AM
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pretty good.


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Old 10-07-2005, 08:20 AM
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I would modify Physical Property #5 to say Soft & pleasant to the touch, yields...but other than that, it's dead-on! That's why we love them!



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