How to become an illegal...
#1
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How to become an illegal...
Becoming An Illegal
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Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and
for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin
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Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and
for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin
#7
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You forgot the part were instead of making whatever you do, your new salary will consist of probably $7 dollars and hour and oh ya if you working in and office or for a big company clean out your desk and take a pic, roofer, outside labor of any kind and if your connected you could even get a dishwasher job or bus boy. You must be in heaven now.
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#8
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Originally Posted by KLRWS6
You forgot the part were instead of making whatever you do, your new salary will consist of probably $7 dollars and hour and oh ya if you working in and office or for a big company clean out your desk and take a pic, roofer, outside labor of any kind and if your connected you could even get a dishwasher job or bus boy. You must be in heaven now.
#13
LS1 Tech Administrator
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George Carlin would not have said it better. So true Jarrod. Thanks for sharing!
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2013 Corvette Grand Sport A6 LME forged 416, Greg Good ported TFS 255 LS3 heads, 222/242 .629"/.604" 121LSA Pat G blower cam, ARH 1 7/8" headers, ESC Novi 1500 Supercharger w/8 rib direct drive conversion, 747rwhp/709rwtq on 93 octane, 801rwhp/735rwtq on race fuel, 10.1 @ 147.25mph 1/4 mile, 174.7mph Half Mile.
2016 Corvette Z51 M7 Magnuson Heartbeat 2300 supercharger, TSP LT headers, Pat G tuned, 667rwhp, 662rwtq, 191mph TX Mile.
2009.5 Pontiac G8 GT 6.0L, A6, AFR 230v2 heads. 506rwhp/442rwtq. 11.413 @ 121.29mph 1/4 mile, 168.7mph TX Mile
2000 Pewter Ram Air Trans Am M6 heads/cam 508 rwhp/445 rwtq SAE, 183.092 TX Mile
2018 Cadillac Escalade 6.2L A10 Pat G tuned.
LS1,LS2,LS3,LS7,LT1 Custom Camshaft Specialist For custom camshaft help press here.
Custom LSX tuning in person or via email press here.
2013 Corvette Grand Sport A6 LME forged 416, Greg Good ported TFS 255 LS3 heads, 222/242 .629"/.604" 121LSA Pat G blower cam, ARH 1 7/8" headers, ESC Novi 1500 Supercharger w/8 rib direct drive conversion, 747rwhp/709rwtq on 93 octane, 801rwhp/735rwtq on race fuel, 10.1 @ 147.25mph 1/4 mile, 174.7mph Half Mile.
2016 Corvette Z51 M7 Magnuson Heartbeat 2300 supercharger, TSP LT headers, Pat G tuned, 667rwhp, 662rwtq, 191mph TX Mile.
2009.5 Pontiac G8 GT 6.0L, A6, AFR 230v2 heads. 506rwhp/442rwtq. 11.413 @ 121.29mph 1/4 mile, 168.7mph TX Mile
2000 Pewter Ram Air Trans Am M6 heads/cam 508 rwhp/445 rwtq SAE, 183.092 TX Mile
2018 Cadillac Escalade 6.2L A10 Pat G tuned.
LS1,LS2,LS3,LS7,LT1 Custom Camshaft Specialist For custom camshaft help press here.
Custom LSX tuning in person or via email press here.
#14
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Originally Posted by Patrick G
George Carlin would not have said it better. So true Jarrod. Thanks for sharing!
I still vote for a 15 foot stone wall topped with electrified razorwire and 50cals every 400 meters, but thats just me.