funny joke
02-13-2007, 10:13 AM
#1
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funny joke A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
hed like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. Oh, Im so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girls parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, I had no idea you
were this religious.
The boy turns, and whispers back, I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist.
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
hed like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. Oh, Im so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girls parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, I had no idea you
were this religious.
The boy turns, and whispers back, I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist.
02-13-2007, 01:07 PM
#3
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Mark was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge,
so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,
to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked, "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent
her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled,
"Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.
so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,
to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked, "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent
her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled,
"Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.
02-13-2007, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted by 1BAD95Z
Mark was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge,
so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,
to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked, "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent
her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled,
"Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.
so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store
At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf
while she was waiting for Carl, the manager,
to finish waiting on a customer.
When Carl was finished, Mary asked, "How much for the teapot?"
Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."
"My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.
Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent
her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Carl yelled,
"Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store.
02-13-2007, 05:10 PM
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So Prez Bush is getting off Airforce One and as he decends the steps the Young Marine at attention at the bottom notices that the Prez is carrying two Pigmey Razorback Hogs. One under each arm.
As he reaches the bottom he notices the Marine staring out of the corner of his eye.
He comments to the young man, "I just got back from Alabama where I got these two hogs.....I got one for Nancy Peloci and one for Sen Clinton.
Whata ya think" asks the Prez.
The young Marine smiles and says, "Nice trade, Sir".
As he reaches the bottom he notices the Marine staring out of the corner of his eye.
He comments to the young man, "I just got back from Alabama where I got these two hogs.....I got one for Nancy Peloci and one for Sen Clinton.
Whata ya think" asks the Prez.
The young Marine smiles and says, "Nice trade, Sir".
02-13-2007, 07:30 PM
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Originally Posted by dogtag
So Prez Bush is getting off Airforce One and as he decends the steps the Young Marine at attention at the bottom notices that the Prez is carrying two Pigmey Razorback Hogs. One under each arm.
As he reaches the bottom he notices the Marine staring out of the corner of his eye.
He comments to the young man, "I just got back from Alabama where I got these two hogs.....I got one for Nancy Peloci and one for Sen Clinton.
Whata ya think" asks the Prez.
The young Marine smiles and says, "Nice trade, Sir".
As he reaches the bottom he notices the Marine staring out of the corner of his eye.
He comments to the young man, "I just got back from Alabama where I got these two hogs.....I got one for Nancy Peloci and one for Sen Clinton.
Whata ya think" asks the Prez.
The young Marine smiles and says, "Nice trade, Sir".
02-13-2007, 07:36 PM
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Good one Dogtag!
Here's another one:
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, " Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, " Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely. "
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then - how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny. "
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance .. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week.That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own? "
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little **** is adorable
Here's another one:
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, " Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, " Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely. "
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then - how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny. "
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance .. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week.That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.
After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own? "
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little **** is adorable
