1BAD95Z

Darren, you should get a kick outta this one..

15 Police Comments

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."


#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone to post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

NVME

iTrader: (1)

They can say whatever they want. I just smile as I take the ticket knowing that my lawyer will get the **** dropped for less than the fine.

Poik

Haha I liked 6 and 1.

Rottluver

iTrader: (3)

Nice Steph.

I have used some of those myself in the past.

WAHUSKER

iTrader: (4)

Good ones Steph.

I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.

1BAD95Z

Wow, your braver than me.. although I did flip one off once...

I bet he was just a wimpy guy with big words and just became a cop to be a tough guy...

B-RAD2

I love number 1.. but i would cahnge 12.. "ya you can run.. go ahead run as fast as you want cause my big *** 90lb german shepard is going to be right behind you. and if he gets ahold of you.. well lets just find out" lol

NataSS Inc

iTrader: (9)

I said something like that once. Then I had 20,000 volts coursing through my veins and it was like watching a replay of the rodney king beating. I guess I deserved it

CamaroTrish

good stuff lol

brad8266

iTrader: (23)

Thats a great one.

NHRAMAN

iTrader: (1)

Ram4384

those are funny. I also smile and agree with the cop when i get my tickets.

My1st Truck

iTrader: (8)

Man I have gotten only 1 speeding ticket. I am always honest. I got stopped going 90 in a 60 up north. Stater says. "You know how fast you were going?"
Me "Yep 90 MPH"
Stater "Damn your speed-o is accurate"
He went to his car ran my plates and crap came back and said. "Since your honest and the only today. Have a nice day."

Now when I was in highschool I spent the night in jail for going 110 in a Plymouth Horizion...Yeah. Parents wouldn't come get me.

WAHUSKER

iTrader: (4)

This was back before tazers. He was starting **** in a Dennys with our girls, then went outside & pulled a gun on my friend. I had had enough by then so I walked up told him to put it away or I was gonna make him eat it. It was then he pulled out his badge....and cuffs. Needless to say I was not impressed with his professionalism, so when he threatened me in jail I was more than ready to rock-n-roll.