Best Race Story Ever
03-16-2007, 03:42 AM
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Best Race Story Ever Okay here is the link to the original story. The first post on the thread contains the original so you can do a comparison. I have it quoted verbatim at the end of the story as well.
https://ls1tech.com/forums/street-racing-kill-stories/677033-turbo-civic-vs-z28-mustang-gt-ha.html
I hope I don't get in trouble but I decided to spice the story up a bit. I edited it for grammar and then added a little description so that it sounded a bit livelier.
I hope no one takes offense!
I put it in multiple chapters so that it is easier to read. I tried to keep it as true to the original as possible so the content isn't all that great. I aimed for historical accuracy.
It gets better towards the end because the original story became quite vague and allowed me more "room" to expand the story a bit.
https://ls1tech.com/forums/street-racing-kill-stories/677033-turbo-civic-vs-z28-mustang-gt-ha.html
I hope I don't get in trouble but I decided to spice the story up a bit. I edited it for grammar and then added a little description so that it sounded a bit livelier.
I hope no one takes offense!
I put it in multiple chapters so that it is easier to read. I tried to keep it as true to the original as possible so the content isn't all that great. I aimed for historical accuracy.
It gets better towards the end because the original story became quite vague and allowed me more "room" to expand the story a bit.
Last edited by Genesis_26317; 03-16-2007 at 04:38 PM.
03-16-2007, 03:43 AM
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Begone, yon Ricer
A tale of domestic strife…
Narration by
James Earl Jones
James Earl Jones
Informative Background:
Our heroes car is a 1998 LS1 Z28 equipped with a 6-speed transaxle. Modifications include an aftermarket high flowing air lid, a K&N airfilter, a Flowmaster exhaust system (ha, ha?), and an aftermarket shortened gear shifter.
Also included in this tale is his compatriots mildly modified Mustang GT. It should be noted that it is equipped with the 2-valve Ford 4.6 litre engine. It includes an aftermarket camshaft, with which it is has been programmed to use properly. It also includes a host of “bolt-on” performance oriented parts and modifications.
Actors:
Charlton Heston - playing the part of our hero.
Gilbert Gottfried - his friend the Mustang GT rider.
Christopher Walken - as the Legendary Turbo Civic Ricer.
Last edited by Genesis_26317; 03-16-2007 at 04:47 PM.
03-16-2007, 03:44 AM
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: PART THE FIRST :
Our tale begins with the two of us going to my comrades workplace where he begins to inform me of and insult his other friend’s, to which I have yet to be introduced to, vehicle. I did not know of this vehicle so I asked for a detailed description lest I miss out.
!!!
ASTONISHMENT !!!It turned out that the vehicle was a Honda Civic!
To my disbelief I cried, “A Civic, oh dear heavens not that. Why I feel I shall sodomize that loosed anus’d car’s **** tonight. What with its canned flatulence and all that so dearly insult mine ears!"
“Egad my friend!” my ally cried, “But the car is equipped with an exhaust powered turbine!!!”
“Nay my good friend!” I shouted out stabbing my fist into the air, “That car be equipped with nary more than four cylinders within the confines of its engine walls!”
Last edited by Genesis_26317; 03-16-2007 at 04:41 PM.
03-16-2007, 03:44 AM
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: PART THE SECOND :
At this point my brother in levity informed me that this young, soon to be challenger, was to be entering upon this region this very night. I then proceeded unto the local Wall Market and chanced upon a crowd of local chevaliers.
Now normally the area is frequented by louts and local hooligans. Tonight though it was populated by this, in detailed list form:
One, two, no THREE Mustangs!!!
Four Camaro’s as well, one being the elder of the other two by half a generation. Also in these three’s clan was a familiar Firebird which stood by.
One Camaro stood out above the others though. It was as dark as pitch and was legendary for its meanness, it bellowed out with open jowls and made the very earth shake! Alas I digress, that car’s tale is for a later time.
Ah, I looked across the parkway and saw approaching the object of tonight’s challenge. A group of three, a trio in the charge of the Honda’s cult. One mounted inside a CRX, a hunched cruelly twisted creature. Another found sulking inside the ensemble of a Civics’ chassis.
…Aha!
There he was, defiant to approach lest he be to close. The Civic, renown for its legendary “turbocharger”. A tool of cowards and weaklings, I did not fear this usurper.
I charged.
I rounded, and slide past his door. I turned, I looked, and sat.
I sat by his very door.
I sat… and I did nothing more.
Last edited by Genesis_26317; 03-16-2007 at 04:42 PM.
03-16-2007, 03:45 AM
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: PART THE THIRD :
“First.” he shouted one eye larger than the other, he pointed his finger at me and sneered, “First I shall face your comrade, then I shall face you.”
Startled at this announcement my friend agreed. We both expected him to challenge me, why I expected, nay hoped that he would challenge me. I struggled within myself as to the cause of this unplanned turn of events.
They both lined up.
Suddenly they bolted, they verily flew. I couldn’t hold myself still, I had to give chase.
I flew up to him, it was like a dream. The coward, he was slower than I expected, it was like he did not even move. I descended upon him like a black angel of death, scythe in hand. Quickly he became close enough for my steed to literally chew the **** of the Civic’s bumper ahead of me.
I had to practically stand upon the reins of my steed to slow her down before I ran him over.
Laughing in merriment, I couldn’t believe my eyes. While I had not sodomized the pretender in the literal sense I was as satisfied as if I had, maybe even more! We laughed… we jested… we danced in our triumph!!!
To my astonishment my prior nervousness was completely unfounded.
The games were not yet done that night. Me and my good friend decided to compete against each other as well. It was all done in jest, while I beat him soundly and quite surely we were still good friends after-the-wards.
Well to end my tale that I tell you let me say this. I was able to defeat not only my good friend in his Mustang with its GT, but also a pretender to our title and lands the Turbocharged Civic.
Epilogue
Alas incase any of you were wondering the Civic’s “can” contained a total of six pounds of pent up flatulence.
Last edited by Genesis_26317; 03-16-2007 at 05:59 AM.
03-16-2007, 04:36 AM
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: Original Tale :
Originally Posted by Wez28
first off, my car is an 98 ls1 z28 6-speed with an airlid, kn airfilter, flowmaster haha and shortshifter. big deal! haha and my buddies fullbolt on, cammed and tunes gt 2 valve. and we both pull up to my buddies work where he starts his **** talkin about his friends car and i waslike alright what is it illl race him. ITS a turbod ****** civic and i walsike what a civic! ill **** a civic in his loose fartcan haivn ***! and he walsike but its turbo!
and i walsike i dont give a **** its a 4 cylinder!!! and he waslike well hes comin up here. so by this time were in walmart parkingl lot, a local hangout up here with all the highschool kids, me being one of them obvisouly lol and the kid pulls up and in my gruop of friends there was 3 mustangs gt's 2 ls1 z38 and an lt1 z28 and an 02 ws6 and a mean *** black z28 with a mega cam and open headers, in his group acros the parkling lot was a crx the legendary turbo civic and another civic. haha it was awesome he wouldnt even come over tehre and i went by him, bieng the typical kid i am i did a powerslide right by his door. and the mustangs and other real car did the same and the turbo civic got next to my buddy witht eh cammed gt and they raced and it was only a two lane highway, and i was chewing on his bumper like he wasnt even moving. i stood up on my brakes trying not to hit him and needleess to say we both fucked him in the *** like i said weweould, thankgod haha he scared me wrong! and i raced the full bolt on gt two and fucked its would up too but hes my best friend so i cant talk to much **** lol sryfor the long story.
end of the story: i beat fullbolt on cam mustang, and turbo civic
civic=6 Lbs of boost btw
and i walsike i dont give a **** its a 4 cylinder!!! and he waslike well hes comin up here. so by this time were in walmart parkingl lot, a local hangout up here with all the highschool kids, me being one of them obvisouly lol and the kid pulls up and in my gruop of friends there was 3 mustangs gt's 2 ls1 z38 and an lt1 z28 and an 02 ws6 and a mean *** black z28 with a mega cam and open headers, in his group acros the parkling lot was a crx the legendary turbo civic and another civic. haha it was awesome he wouldnt even come over tehre and i went by him, bieng the typical kid i am i did a powerslide right by his door. and the mustangs and other real car did the same and the turbo civic got next to my buddy witht eh cammed gt and they raced and it was only a two lane highway, and i was chewing on his bumper like he wasnt even moving. i stood up on my brakes trying not to hit him and needleess to say we both fucked him in the *** like i said weweould, thankgod haha he scared me wrong! and i raced the full bolt on gt two and fucked its would up too but hes my best friend so i cant talk to much **** lol sryfor the long story.end of the story: i beat fullbolt on cam mustang, and turbo civic
civic=6 Lbs of boost btw
Last edited by Genesis_26317; 03-16-2007 at 06:00 AM.
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03-16-2007, 06:27 AM
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“Nay my good friend!” I shouted out stabbing my fist into the air, “That car be equipped with nary more than four cylinders within the confines of its engine walls!”
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Some good stuff. Oh Yeah, Good Kill.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Some good stuff. Oh Yeah, Good Kill.
03-16-2007, 08:16 AM
#13
What's this? Hark, the ache that was confined inside the walls of my cranium has now vanished. Surely, it will not return. My Friday thus saved from pain, pried free of evil's cruel grip. 
ROFLMAO. You actually understood that original story? Is that what happened?
Classic...f'n classic.
ROFLMAO. You actually understood that original story? Is that what happened?
Classic...f'n classic.
Just kidding. That was a much better read than the original. Very entertaining. Two thumbs up. 