Funny joke thread
03-26-2007, 08:46 PM
#1
Banned
Thread Starter
iTrader: (9)
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ft Hood, TX
Posts: 1,087
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Funny joke thread A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop. When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you". The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and pray's to God. If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you. The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me. The nun agrees but asks for **** sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun. After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!" 
03-26-2007, 10:56 PM
#6
TECH Apprentice
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NW Houston
Posts: 335
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
LOL
i've heard this joke in south louisiana...only it wasn't the bus driver...it was a "black" guy from the bus...only they didn't use the word "black"
still funny tho~
i've heard this joke in south louisiana...only it wasn't the bus driver...it was a "black" guy from the bus...only they didn't use the word "black"
still funny tho~
03-27-2007, 05:41 PM
#7
Launching!
iTrader: (14)
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tomball tx
Posts: 296
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Funny **** man, keep em coming. As far as hearing it in South La it figures they wouldn't use the word "black",Being I'm originally from the Pacific Northwest we're more diverse and most folks would get offended (all races) the other way.
Trending Topics
03-27-2007, 05:52 PM
#8
TECH Veteran
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: San Marcos/Plano, Texas
Posts: 4,821
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by GTO JIMMY
Wow are yall really having a debate over a bus from a joke? I love ls1tech and all you guys!
That was a really funny joke.
too bad i dont know any original jokes
03-27-2007, 06:35 PM
#10
TECH Resident
iTrader: (7)
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Houston
Posts: 800
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Here's one...
This trucker stops for a meal at a roadside diner. He orders some chicken noodle soup, and starts eating it, until he notices a hair in it. He then screams, "Hey waitress!!! There's a damn pubic hair in my soup!!!"
She replies, "Well, I didn't put it there!"
The trucker pushes the bowl away and yells, "Well I ain't payin' for this ****! Besides, I lost my damn appetite!" and storms out of the diner. As he leaves, he notices a whorehouse across the street, so he decides to go have some fun. He picks a hooker and they retire to her room.
Meanwhile, the waitress is thinking about what happened and decides, "That son-of-a-bitch needs to pay for his damn soup." She noticed where he went and decides to go confront him about it. They tell her which room he's in and when she bursts though the door, the trucker is shoulders deep in some hair-pie. The waitress exclaims, "You dirty Mother ******! You won't pay for your soup because there was a little hair in it, now look at what your eating!!!"
To which the trucker replies, "And if I find a damn noodle in here, I ain't paying for this **** either!"
This trucker stops for a meal at a roadside diner. He orders some chicken noodle soup, and starts eating it, until he notices a hair in it. He then screams, "Hey waitress!!! There's a damn pubic hair in my soup!!!"
She replies, "Well, I didn't put it there!"
The trucker pushes the bowl away and yells, "Well I ain't payin' for this ****! Besides, I lost my damn appetite!" and storms out of the diner. As he leaves, he notices a whorehouse across the street, so he decides to go have some fun. He picks a hooker and they retire to her room.
Meanwhile, the waitress is thinking about what happened and decides, "That son-of-a-bitch needs to pay for his damn soup." She noticed where he went and decides to go confront him about it. They tell her which room he's in and when she bursts though the door, the trucker is shoulders deep in some hair-pie. The waitress exclaims, "You dirty Mother ******! You won't pay for your soup because there was a little hair in it, now look at what your eating!!!"
To which the trucker replies, "And if I find a damn noodle in here, I ain't paying for this **** either!"
03-27-2007, 06:41 PM
#12
TECH Fanatic
iTrader: (15)
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: _Nor caL_ (Bay areA)
Posts: 1,588
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Corny40
Here's one...
This trucker stops for a meal at a roadside diner. He orders some chicken noodle soup, and starts eating it, until he notices a hair in it. He then screams, "Hey waitress!!! There's a damn pubic hair in my soup!!!"
She replies, "Well, I didn't put it there!"
The trucker pushes the bowl away and yells, "Well I ain't payin' for this ****! Besides, I lost my damn appetite!" and storms out of the diner. As he leaves, he notices a whorehouse across the street, so he decides to go have some fun. He picks a hooker and they retire to her room.
Meanwhile, the waitress is thinking about what happened and decides, "That son-of-a-bitch needs to pay for his damn soup." She noticed where he went and decides to go confront him about it. They tell her which room he's in and when she bursts though the door, the trucker is shoulders deep in some hair-pie. The waitress exclaims, "You dirty Mother ******! You won't pay for your soup because there was a little hair in it, now look at what your eating!!!"
To which the trucker replies, "And if I find a damn noodle in here, I ain't paying for this **** either!"
This trucker stops for a meal at a roadside diner. He orders some chicken noodle soup, and starts eating it, until he notices a hair in it. He then screams, "Hey waitress!!! There's a damn pubic hair in my soup!!!"
She replies, "Well, I didn't put it there!"
The trucker pushes the bowl away and yells, "Well I ain't payin' for this ****! Besides, I lost my damn appetite!" and storms out of the diner. As he leaves, he notices a whorehouse across the street, so he decides to go have some fun. He picks a hooker and they retire to her room.
Meanwhile, the waitress is thinking about what happened and decides, "That son-of-a-bitch needs to pay for his damn soup." She noticed where he went and decides to go confront him about it. They tell her which room he's in and when she bursts though the door, the trucker is shoulders deep in some hair-pie. The waitress exclaims, "You dirty Mother ******! You won't pay for your soup because there was a little hair in it, now look at what your eating!!!"
To which the trucker replies, "And if I find a damn noodle in here, I ain't paying for this **** either!"
thats to funny! LOL
03-27-2007, 07:53 PM
#13
TECH Resident
iTrader: (16)
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: dfw
Posts: 985
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
im full of them here i go.
One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.
Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach. When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.
16 years later
16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?" "What?" I pissed out a bullet. So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago. Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet." So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago. Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?" The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."
"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"
One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.
Her husband didn't want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach. When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.
16 years later
16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said "mom mom guess what?" "What?" I pissed out a bullet. So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago. Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said "mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet." So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago. Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said "mom mom guess what?" The mom said "let me guess you pissed out a bullet."
"No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!"
03-27-2007, 07:55 PM
#14
TECH Resident
iTrader: (16)
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: dfw
Posts: 985
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get some alcohol for free. They only had a dollar in change between them. "I've got it, follow me." said the first man.
They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. "We'll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off."
The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds.
When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer. The bartender tells them, "That will be three dollars."
The first man stands up and upzips his fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog.
"You *******!" screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!"
They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out.
After the sixth bar the second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!"
"You think you've had it bad," the first man exclaims. "I lost the hotdog four bars ago!"
eh one more for me
They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. "We'll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off."
The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds.
When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer. The bartender tells them, "That will be three dollars."
The first man stands up and upzips his fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog.
"You *******!" screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!"
They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out.
After the sixth bar the second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!"
"You think you've had it bad," the first man exclaims. "I lost the hotdog four bars ago!"
eh one more for me
