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arguing with my wife about our next home

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Old 10-13-2017, 10:13 PM   #1
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Default arguing with my wife about our next home

looking for some unbiased opinions from people who don't know me or my wife. if you like novels and real estate read on.

both in our mid 20s, have a 1 year old. aug 2016 we bought a house to stop renting. we picked our house area because its the best school in the area, and i also just got a new job making about 60,000 a year after overtime and it was a 20 min drive to that job. it is 20 min from her job as well. obviously at the time we planned on staying here a long time. as a backup in case the new job wasn't gonna work out, it was also 40 min from my old job that was my fall back that i could always go back too. this school district has higher taxes then the rest of the area, at $5100. the house was 184,000, we did an FHA loan for 3% down. our mortgage is 1350.00.

well immediately after buying, i got a call from an application i submitted a few months before that i gave up on because its tough to get in. well i made the jump to that job and heres where my dilemma is.

its a union job, guaranteed employment, guaranteed pay, guarantee everything with free health care. great gig. its is however 40 min from my current home. not the worst commute but she and i both agree that in 4 years we can move to that area. she likes that area, its got much less taxes and the homes are great. in 4 years i have a 100,000 a year guaranteed salary. i make 19.50 now, with 1.50 raises for the next 3 years until i get that almost double pay raise. with her 40,000 salary we should be all set right?

so since i now know that we are moving in 4-5 years, i no longer wanna "invest" into this place. its not a bad house, but we don't need to be paying these high taxes if our kid isn't going to school here. so I'm ready to buy a double wide, not one in a trailer park, and go move there and stack all this money up so that in 4 years we will have a **** ton of money saved to where we could do a 40% down payment on a 300,000 house. much lesser mortgage, setting ourselves up for a very good life financially. i looked, in 4 years if i don't make any principle payments our current home will only have 14000 paid off. not to mention the utilities and other bills will be much less on a double wide.

i can go on and on but basically if we stay in our current situation, I'm doing 40 min commutes, and we will probably come up a little short on the 20% down for our next home, forcing us to stay an extra year here. if we downgrade and live more humble for 4 years, we will be miles ahead than if we stay here. she doesn't wanna move again, and has this whole bad thing with trailers. no matter how much reasoning i say, she just comes back with saying we just moved here i don't wanna move again. but obviously neither of us saw this new job opportunity.

i found a 20 year old double wide thats 1900 sf, stainless appliances, tons of parking, one neighbor, for 59000. taxes are 1600 a year. we could pay that bitch off super fast and start saving. but like i said she's giving me a huge hard time about it. am i thinking wrong here? in my opinion, its not a huge downgrade considering we lived in my moms basement for a year. besides the fact no fenced in yard for the dogs that i may or may not be able to do something about, and no basement. she's just being stubborn about it.

Last edited by Floorman279; 10-13-2017 at 10:15 PM. Reason: .......
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Old 10-13-2017, 10:39 PM   #2
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With your current combined salaries I wouldn't really consider a 180k mortgage as excessive, however it is certainly correct that the more below your means you live the further ahead you will get financially and quicker. So I don't really consider this a financial conundrum, it is a relationship/communication issue. You want to prioritize sacrifice in the present for a better future, while she wants to prioritize greater comfort/standard of living in the present. You guys will have to work out that disconnect for yourselves to make your relationship work.
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Old 10-13-2017, 10:51 PM   #3
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Ur absolutely right. It really is 2 ppl not agreeing on what direction to take. I've always been the one to make practical financial decisions. She had piles of debt when I met her, but didn't care and lived her vw car payment and higher insurance. She now has barely any debt, maybe like 2000. But that's because of me hounding her, and convincing her to sell the vw for a beater car. I just was hoping some people on here would be like u can't expect her to go backwards and u just need to deal with it. But I still think I'm on the right track
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Old 10-14-2017, 12:19 AM   #4
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I would stick with the current house. With a nice area and a nice school district, it will retain it's value, even if the housing market tanks in the next few years. The upkeep on a double wide is more than you think, I've seen very nice ones degrade severely in a few years, plus you will never see that money back out of it when you decide to move.
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Old 10-14-2017, 02:07 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Floorman279 View Post
if we downgrade and live more humble for 4 years, we will be miles ahead than if we stay here.
This is basically what I've been doing for the last ~4 years myself, to achieve certain financial goals. Luckily, Mrs. RPM was on board with my plan so we had no drama about cutting back. Not exactly the same situation as yours (we are about ~15 years older than you), but our plan was to trim out every ounce of fat possible, building a big enough reserve to pay cash for the next house. We are within 6 months of finishing, and I'm thankful we've done this and wouldn't change it for anything....having sacrificed a handful of years for no mortgage/no debt going forward is worth it. Having said that, I do realize this is an easier thing to say near the end versus at the beginning.

However, I do understand your wife's point here:

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no matter how much reasoning i say, she just comes back with saying we just moved here i don't wanna move again.
Moving sucks, especially if you have a lot of stuff. I hate it myself. What you're proposing would require two additional planned moves within 4 years, meaning that the next place will never feel like a home since it essentially has an "expiration date". So I get it. But, I'm also opposed to debt and paying interest, so I do whatever I can to avoid such as much as possible.
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Old 10-14-2017, 03:04 AM   #6
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Jc, anything degrades of not taken care of. How are u saying that a double wide utility wise is not significantly different? Is one floor, much easier to heat and cool effectively which in the really hot and cold months is like 200 of my electric bill. Not to mention, saying that the double wide will lose value is pretty wrong, considering it's only 60000 in an area with 1400 taxes. Pretty sure it's already near rock bottum.
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Old 10-14-2017, 03:08 AM   #7
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Rpm, I don't need it to real FEEL like my home cause I know it is. Now that I know this isn't goona be our home for many years, it feels like a rental knowing that after 4 more years I will only have 14000 paid off. Still better than renting I get it. Just seems like a very small money pit to me now
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Old 10-14-2017, 09:19 AM   #8
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May I ask, what would you be doing in this new union job? Were you actually hired yet? If I were you, I would wait and stay in your current house until the said $$$ begins to materialize. Your financial decisions may then change. When the day comes that you can actually buy what you want when you want it. The hunger and thirst of the want is no longer as great. This is just my opinion for myself sir
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Old 10-14-2017, 10:01 AM   #9
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Stay where you are for now. Don't do anything until you receive your raise.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:07 AM   #10
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"4 years i have a 100,000 a year guaranteed salary"

Coming up with financial ideas now planning on future money is never a smart thing. If you just moved in last year you might as well stay there and just live on less and try to save more like others mentioned then when you actually do get that big raise then move onto something else.
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Old 10-14-2017, 02:12 PM   #11
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Man, I am jealous of any place where you can buy a house for under $200k. Around here the median price is over $700k!

But I agree with the advice to stay where you are until the income materializes. It's always a bad idea to base financial decisions based on what you MIGHT make in the future.
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Old 10-14-2017, 06:03 PM   #12
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its ups driver. trust me the money will be there. its a contractual agreement that ups has signed. i can't be fired unless i lie or steal. and they would need solid proof i did anything wrong. I've been there for a year now. i just got my first raise. remember, i wanna move into a much lesser payment until i get my full pay in 3 more years. why do you guys suggest stay here when i can save double elsewhere and still live comfortably space wise.
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Old 10-14-2017, 06:04 PM   #13
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Man, I am jealous of any place where you can buy a house for under $200k. Around here the median price is over $700k!

But I agree with the advice to stay where you are until the income materializes. It's always a bad idea to base financial decisions based on what you MIGHT make in the future.
I'm sure where you are the average salary is about 90,000. average income around here i would guess is 55,000
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Old 10-14-2017, 07:26 PM   #14
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its ups driver. trust me the money will be there. its a contractual agreement that ups has signed. i can't be fired unless i lie or steal. and they would need solid proof i did anything wrong. I've been there for a year now. i just got my first raise. remember, i wanna move into a much lesser payment until i get my full pay in 3 more years. why do you guys suggest stay here when i can save double elsewhere and still live comfortably space wise.
Dude have you seen what the Koch brother have started nationwide to public servant pensions??????
Nothing is guaranteed, I speak from personal experience.

My city did some bullshit special voting referendum on a local non-voting year with money they stole from employees citing some vague State statute and modified pay and benefits outside of collective bargaining.

Don't count your eggs before they hatch. Do not move until you have the money is the best advice anyone can give you/
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Old 10-15-2017, 08:13 AM   #15
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All those old sayings like 1 bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush are true in reality. Don't assume anything is guaranteed until it's in your hand. Assume something will go wrong until it doesn't. Perhaps there is a middle ground that gets you to the area you want to be in, but not in a double wide? Or what if the wife really just doesn't want to go through the ordeal of moving and you hire a mover to do it for you?
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Old 10-15-2017, 09:01 AM   #16
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Happy Wife happy life.
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Old 10-15-2017, 09:26 AM   #17
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Granted I'm used to housing prices here, but I have no clue why anyone would need a 300k dollar house. We are setup in a 1700 square foot house with a 2k square foot shop in the back. Other then wanting to be a little more in the country it's all I will ever need. My plan is to pay it off then use that to possibly buy a reasonable home to retire in. My point is, I see a lot of people getting new income, then offsetting it with higher debt. Also buying, selling, and moving frequently can end up costing you quite a bit in the long run. Good luck.
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Old 10-15-2017, 10:00 AM   #18
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Granted I'm used to housing prices here, but I have no clue why anyone would need a 300k dollar house. We are setup in a 1700 square foot house with a 2k square foot shop in the back. Other then wanting to be a little more in the country it's all I will ever need. My plan is to pay it off then use that to possibly buy a reasonable home to retire in. My point is, I see a lot of people getting new income, then offsetting it with higher debt. Also buying, selling, and moving frequently can end up costing you quite a bit in the long run. Good luck.
Ok we arent talkin pensions which ovviously is a fund and technically yes it could dry up. As far as jhe pay, trust me, it will be there. This isnt a job where based on performance or company growth ill get one or not. It is written in paper and signed in this half inch thick book of what ups can and cant do. Theunion is nationwide with tons of other companies not just ups. No way shape or form can i be fucked unless I deliberately **** myself

And even if i moved to a 60,000 house then the money ends up not being there, how is that hurting my situation? Im in a house that costs 3x less than so not goona hurt me. Then like anyone else, i would assess my finances and decide how much home i can afford at that point. After rpm posted, clearly recognizing my thought process, everyone started getting caught up on the money i claim to be making in 3 years. The only relevance that the money has is the fact that i can afford more home "IN THE FUTURE". I appreciate all the responses, but only the first few responded in a way that actually were relevant to my dilemma.

No as far as what i quoted, 300,000 gets you anywhere from 2000 to 2500 sf. Also a 2-3 car garage, an inground pool, and anywhere from .4-1.25 acres. I dont need the sf, but that sorta comes with the land, pool and garage. Our next home will be there until i turn 56 and im eligble for retirement. Then we move and retire in de. So obviously we dont know how housing will be then. I debated on getting another 200k home, and getting more cars, but honestly i probably dont need 8 cars or will have space to put them all lol. So instead have the yard, the pool, and some trees.
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Old 10-15-2017, 10:02 AM   #19
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300,000 with 8500 a year taxes is a good price range for 140,000 combined imcome between my wife and i. Thats around 2.1x our yearly income. Now we are sitting at 180,000 with 5100 taxes combined 90,000. Thats 2x. So imo, not that much different
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Old 10-15-2017, 05:54 PM   #20
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I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of the "Guarantees" here. I've yet to hear of a guaranteed job OR salary....from the president of the United States down....no one is safe. My want to rethink that.
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