(A)SS WHIPER

So, I'm tierd as hell right. No sleep for like 36 hours. Then why am I typing this @ 2:02 AM. Cause I just got new found energy. I just shut down a 700 mile brand new EVO. Thats right, the newest jap **** pile of hell that all the ricers are talking about. The car that the star of 2 slow 2 gay drives. You know the ugly yellow paint. We have all seen mad previews of this Saleen bustin, Corvette beatin, Viper bruisin, and most of all: the some how pullin crap out of their sleeve japs, 1969 YENKO CAMARO 427 bull shitin, car that is a 4 door, 4 cyl.,

Here it is:
I'm rolling down hwy 73. Headin back from taking my girl to her house. I pass the entrance to duke power. I'm watchin out for deer cause they tend to congrigate around the dam. I saw a deer out the passenger window and gave the old LS1 a 4500 rpm bark so that the deer would not cross my path. Well, I see in the rear view some bright lights getting might close to my bumper.(I guess they figuared that I was reving at them.) I can't stand for people to get up on my *** so I drop a gear and mash on it a lil. Pull away, slow down to 55 and again bright clear bulbs that could only belong to an import. I thought it was an s2000 or a BMW m3. I was mad and plenty tierd, so I droped from 6th gear down to third, reved to 5 grand, and side stepped the clutch. GONE.......

brake back down to 55. here comes that piece again. It's getting close to my turn so I just chill for a few. Signal to the right. He puts on his right signal. I slow way down to like 5 mph in 1st gear, turn, and the damn ricer punches it in the wrong lane at the intersection and tries to pass. HELL NO, I was still turning slightly when I put all my weight on the go pedal. ZERO TIRE SPIN!!!!! Thank you Nitto 555 R's. The ricers had the jump and I still pulled out enough to get back out front and to see their headlights in the rear view. 2nd gear pulled at least 2 or 3 cars on them. I was gettin excited in 3rd looked back not watching the tack and bounced off the 5800rpm limit I set with the HPP3.(got to raise it back to 6200) The head lights were way back now, but I still shifted in to 4th and ran it to 5500 rpm. They had hit the brakes when I was in the middle of 4th. I decided to melt to rotors a little bit and let them catch up. I wanted to see what just got a good, old fashoned, AMERICAN *** WHIPING!!!!!

The ricers put on there signal about a mile down the road, so I pull into a lighted local Baptist church parking lot that had 2 entrances they were in back so they pulled in the 1st entrance. I pulled in to the 2nd entrance. I finally got to get a look at this car with out useing the rear view mirror. NO, IT'S AN EVO. We pulled in driver window to driver window. 2 people were in the car. The driver says "Damn, that thing sounds rowdy." The passenger says, "What are you pushin 400 hp?" I said "nahhhh 320 to 330." The driver respond with, "No way!!, Hell no!! Lets see under the hood!" They were amazed when they could not see a blower or N2O.

I was wanting to see what the big deal is with the mitsu-sushi, so I said "Lets see the EVO." Black, grey interior, Recaro buckets seats up front factory, a carbon fiber wing, front mount inter-cooler, Etc. The ricer said he was from D.C.,and he got the car from over in Boston.

They started talking about Morseville Dragway's test and tune, and babbled on and on about how they shut down all the f-bodys, mustangs and vettes.
I knew that it was just ricer talk cause, I'm usually there every Thursday night. They continued on and on about beating up on newer EFI V-8 cars. I was like, "How did you like the track?" They were like "It was good." "The EVO was getting 1.8 60 foot times." I replied with, "Oh, I usually get 1.8 or 1.9's with my drag radia...." Then they inter-rupted me and said, "Oh yea what was your E.T.?" I said, "8.3 @ 84 and some change so far." "What did you run?"

He replied with, "9.1's" "at 77"

I shut my hood, said later, got in the car, and drove home. I could not take any more talk of the futcher mod plans for the evo. "more boost, blah blah blah.....etc"

America did not loose to Japan tonight!!!!! 04 July 03
The Camaro did not let me down!!!!!!!!
Stay true to your heritage. Don't buy imports!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy 4th of July !!! GOT TO SLEEP!!!!!!!

Venkman

iTrader: (4)

good kill

Red Shift

Ithcy-pushy got scratched!!!! Good kill.

SouthFL.02.SS

NIIIiiiiiiiiiiceeee Kill. Nice!

bigMAC

FILE

iTrader: (5)

even more fried rice

File

ZtwentyATE

VERY NICE !!!!

I am dying to run a EVO. Have not seen one yet.....not even in Southern Cali.

2001CamaroGuy

iTrader: (6)

I HATE F*CKING RICERS THAT SPILL BS!!!!!

I would have said "...with how slow you are.....your not keeping up with any F-bodys, Mustangs, or Vettes....don't lie!!!!"

good job.....

(A)SS WHIPER

The kid claimed to be an ex-mustang owner. I asked him why he would buy the lancer evolution over an 03 cobra. He said why buy an 03 cobra when i'm just as fast with a 2 liter and a turbo. I was like . AHHHHHHH NO!!, you claimed that your evo had 300 hp @ the wheels and you can run 13.0 in the quarter,an 03 cobra would be way faster, sorry buddy.

Then this kid started talking about a full exhaust system that would give him 35 hp. He said that the magizines tested it and it lowered the evos 1/4 mile time to 12.4. I was on the ground rolling 6 tenths improvement from 35 hp.

The kid claimed to also have a RSX that would whip my ***.
I said it must be nice having daddys money, and he started shutin up a little. I think that he will think twice when pulling up next to an LS1 from now on.

2001TA

Evo's aren't all that. Id rather have an all wheel drive Eclipse or talon. Same motor, and lighter.

BlownChevy

iTrader: (20)

I see EVOS in the San Fernando Valley all the time! Come on out and have some Fried Rice.....(its hot over here)

gMAG

iTrader: (1)

Those who burnout in local Baptist parking lot must sit in their own pew!
Nice going...I like your moniker!

01_SuperSlow

iTrader: (7)

Good kill on the rice.

Vendetta

I hate those new rally cars. They'd be nice if they weren't so riced out... the Evo has 19 lbs of boost. Talk about killin your engine... I can't wait to see if those cars can last past 80k miles.

Mitsubishi engine+lots of boost=disaster

I'd rahter have an LS1 powered car (Y or F) any day over one of those new **** boxes. Good job killin him , I can't stand those stock riceburners.

I'm serious guys, if I came across one on fire, I'd **** on it to put it out, then buy some TNT and blow that **** up .

I really do have a strong hatred for them (Especially becuase they can rock LT1s... eek!)

SouthFL.02.SS

I had an '90 Eclipse Turbo - New (my 1st car).
Engine kicked the bucket just before the warranty expired. I limped into the dealer with 43 miles left! Mitsu engine+Turbo= disaster, Yes! I ran no mods even!

No Evo sightings in Miami yet (from my eyes)! Seen a couple WRX Sti's- one pulled up to me when I was breaking in the 4.10's (the drive home from the shop!) I was sooo itchin' to run, but held off.

Lot's of fart canned ricers down here- too many. A local abandoned parking lot here has a 2F2Fur scene on Thursday nights. Around 10pm, the rice and lowriders (I prefer the low to the rice) come out and park, w/ the neon, lcd's, bass kickin. Around 11:30, the cops break up the scene when there's too many people (they actually sit there for the entire process, circling like sharks in their patrol cars until time to break up the crowd- this happens every week- I guess they like having all the street racers off the roads, in one spot for a given amount of time, they must be recording the cars or something, makes no sense otherwise to allow the congregation to begin with). Anyhow, I went last week w/ some F-bods, including one '69 Camaro SS. We took our places. The process took its course, the scene was cleared by the cops, who aggressively tell the ricers to get the hell out. When the 5/0 got to us, they politley said "you guys don't look like trouble, but you gotta go too, but before leaving, can we see your cars! Pop the hoods, nice rides!" It was great.

Sorry for hijacking the thread, and for such a long story- just thought you would enjoy!

ZtwentyATE

I see EVOS in the San Fernando Valley all the time! Come on out and have some Fried Rice.....(its hot over here)

[/quote]

In Thousand Oaks the only rice I see are the truly slow ones, which is 99% of whats out there. The only one that gave me any trouble was a modified Black S2000. Which I could not pass till 110+ on the 101. I was 100% stock though.

BlownChevy

iTrader: (20)

There is more rice here in the valley than there is in Japan.

CI_LS1

Sorry, it's just that in my town there's like 6 Baptist Churches plus a Baptist bible college, and I've "accidentally" laid more than my fair share of patches in and near their parking lots... One is right next to a parts store were a guy has a riced out V6 Pusstang

Nice kill, all the ricers around here act the same way, "wow you must have naawwwss to have beaten me!"

2dr lj

a friend of mine is into evo's since #2 and the last one i saw and rode in, a 5, was capable of 12.4s with very few mods, but the ones done were definately not sushi style. where i'm from it is basically a dumping ground for ricers straight out of rice central so instead of being imported new like they are here, ours are second-hand and cheap. so ricers as you know and love them have been around for a lot longer but there is still the hard core ricers there with a few good albiet misguided motorheads too. i can safely say evo's generally walk on the wrx's and can catch the occasional people unawares, without the mythical naaaawwwss too. i hope i am not tarred and feather for this but i will give credit where it is due, excuse me.....

DD966

iTrader: (3)

whoops you made a typo "capable of 12.4" should read - capable of 14.4

Good kill WHIPER!!! GOD Bless American