A joke about engineers

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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 05:02 PM
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Default A joke about engineers

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are milling around bored in a long hallway, when they are approached by a zen master. The zen master proposes a race: He says: "I'll offer eternal harmony to the one who can reach the end of the hallway first."
The three are about to charge off when the zen master finishes:
"There are two rules. First, you must move in turns. Second, on each move you can only travel at most half the remaining distance..."
The mathematician quickly points out: "Ha! Impossible, Mr. Zen master" and storms off muttering something about not quitting a day job.
The Physicist, likewise, muttering something about the impossibility of the race, stomps off red faced.
The engineer however, is already on his second move, and can be heard saying something about "close enough for me..."
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 05:08 PM
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nice, lol
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 05:31 PM
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That pretty much says it all :-)
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 05:33 PM
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I wonder how many mathematicians or physicists we have here. Heh.
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 06:08 PM
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ahhaha
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 09:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Shackleford
I wonder how many mathematicians or physicists we have here. Heh.
You mean engineering majors?

<-- +1

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.




There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked an "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his services. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark..................$1

Knowing where to put it.........$49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:00 PM
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haha..
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:03 PM
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Originally Posted by TheBlurLS1
You mean engineering majors?

<-- +1

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.




There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked an "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his services. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark..................$1

Knowing where to put it.........$49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.
Haha. Civie right here, man. I have the "easy" branch.
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:05 PM
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2 good jokes to start the day, "Giggitty, giggitty, all right!"
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Shackleford
Haha. Civie right here, man. I have the "easy" branch.
Mechanical here. IE's have it easy, we call them "Imaginary Engineers".
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:34 PM
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Originally Posted by TheBlurLS1
Mechanical here. IE's have it easy, we call them "Imaginary Engineers".
Haha. Stinkin' Industrial Engineers.
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:47 PM
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Going back to ME here....


Boy do I NOT miss Fluids and Statics LOL
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 10:55 PM
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My dads a civil/structural engineer, worked for the last 40+ years, I dont think that guy will ever retire, his job is prety much his hobby now, I think he goes just to keep him self busy. He knows other engineers well in to their 80s that are still working, most those guys really like what they do and wont ever retire from it as long as their capable. Most the employers also take it really easy on them far as work loads and what not.
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 11:18 PM
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Originally Posted by BigBronco
Going back to ME here....


Boy do I NOT miss Fluids and Statics LOL
Mech E & Aero E here..... can't say I miss those classes either.
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Old Feb 13, 2007 | 11:26 PM
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ME major here.

My physics teacher told me that joke last year, except they were all on an island, and whoever could get to the last coconut first by going 1/2 the way each time got it.
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Old Feb 14, 2007 | 07:38 AM
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my g/f's dad is a civil E, but i think he'll enjoy these. very funny
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Old Feb 14, 2007 | 07:55 AM
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Originally Posted by pinesol_hater
Mech E & Aero E here..... can't say I miss those classes either.
Hey noticed "Orion" was you're Avatar, do you work at Lockheed Martin by chance?
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Old Feb 14, 2007 | 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by -PEPE-
Hey noticed "Orion" was you're Avatar, do you work at Lockheed Martin by chance?
Yes sir I do, Flight Ops. Do you?
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Old Feb 14, 2007 | 08:22 AM
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thank god im not an engineer, as smart as ya'll are, ya'll are retarted....
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Old Feb 14, 2007 | 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted by pinesol_hater
Yes sir I do, Flight Ops. Do you?
Sure do man, 6th floor Bus Ops for the Orion Project, Earned Value Management. Way cool!
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