15 Police Comments
Thread Starter
TECH Resident
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 776
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From: Monroe, Washington
15 Police Comments Darren, you should get a kick outta this one.. 
15 Police Comments
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone to post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
15 Police Comments
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone to post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Good ones Steph.
I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.
I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.
Thread Starter
TECH Resident
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 776
Likes: 0
From: Monroe, Washington
Originally Posted by WAHUSKER
Good ones Steph.
I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.
I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.
although I did flip one off once...I bet he was just a wimpy guy with big words and just became a cop to be a tough guy...
TECH Fanatic
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,562
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From: San Antonio
I love number 1.. but i would cahnge 12.. "ya you can run.. go ahead run as fast as you want cause my big *** 90lb german shepard is going to be right behind you. and if he gets ahold of you.. well lets just find out" lol
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Originally Posted by WAHUSKER
Good ones Steph.
I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.
I can remember once when I got free room & board for the night the arresting officer said "You know, I can come in your cell & kick your ***, and nobody will care." All I said was "You got the key....". Oddly he walked away. Normally I wouldn't even respond to something like that, but he was being a complete *** from the get-go & I wanted him.
I said something like that once. Then I had 20,000 volts coursing through my veins and it was like watching a replay of the rodney king beating. I guess I deserved it
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Man I have gotten only 1 speeding ticket. I am always honest. I got stopped going 90 in a 60 up north. Stater says. "You know how fast you were going?"
Me "Yep 90 MPH"
Stater "Damn your speed-o is accurate"
He went to his car ran my plates and crap came back and said. "Since your honest and the only today. Have a nice day."
Now when I was in highschool I spent the night in jail for going 110 in a Plymouth Horizion...Yeah. Parents wouldn't come get me.
Me "Yep 90 MPH"
Stater "Damn your speed-o is accurate"
He went to his car ran my plates and crap came back and said. "Since your honest and the only today. Have a nice day."
Now when I was in highschool I spent the night in jail for going 110 in a Plymouth Horizion...Yeah. Parents wouldn't come get me.
Originally Posted by NataSS Inc
I said something like that once. Then I had 20,000 volts coursing through my veins and it was like watching a replay of the rodney king beating. I guess I deserved it
