I met the coolest mother ****** ever tonight.

I got out of work real late. I didnt feel like making anything for dinner, so I went out to the beach to grab a garbage plate. Its the greatest invention ever. A delicious plate filled with 2 burgers, home fries, mac salad, and whatever else you want on it.

The place I went to is also a local hang out spot for car guys. You'll get a wide variety of people who come here too.. From the old to young, import and domestic, etc.

The place has gone down hill over the past few years. Too many dumb *** kids who think they have race cars are just ruining it. Trying to do burnouts, doughnuts, and my personal favorite... "ken blocking it" around the parking lots.

Anyways, back to my delicious dinner. Its about 10pm. I just order the food and head outside to the porch by the beach. Theres quite a few cars parked outside. I hear some clowns standing on the other side of the porch talk about "the beast"... Now, I know what you're prob. thinking. Who the **** refers to their car as "the beast"? Well, this wanna be thug like kid does... And its a 350Z. Its equipped with an exhaust system and "tune". Aawwwhhh yeah! She's a "beast" alright. He's with all his buddies, who admire him because of his car, and also think its king of the streets, because its the fastest thing they've ever been in.

You might also be thinking "Mike, arent you being a little harsh on the kid?", well, you just wait. It gets better.

Captain douche face then starts talking **** about every car in the parking lot, and how his 350Z is superior to every one of them. His 350Z will walk liter bikes.. "They make like 200hp. I'm easily over 300". The concept makes sence.. He makes more power, so he should therefore beat them. Right? **** power to weight ratios. So, this 350Z will walk liter bikes. I might be in trouble then.

He even taught me a few things about my car. I really took his expert opinion to heart. "That black vette over there.. Overrated. Not as fast as they look. 14's at the track. The beast would take it"... I tried not to laugh. TRIED. "They also get **** gas milage because of the V8".

All his buddies were all admiring captain douche face because he's an expert at this stuff. Hell, even I wish I was as smart as him. I dont know what the **** I was thinking, spending all this money on a Z06 when I could have just bought a stockish 350Z and walk liter bikes with it.

They all make their way over to the parking lot and are standing around the car. He opens the hood to expose that monster of an engine he has hiding under there. He raided a auto zone and bought their entire supply of wire loom. Green and red. The Christmas edition 350Z. Did I mention it had cool neons too? Well it does.

I devoured the garbage plate. Double forked that bitch. I passed captain douch face and his christmas tree and head over to my car. I start it up and let it warm up for about 30 seconds. In the mean time, CDF (captain douche face) closes his hood. I head out, and follows me.

I pull out onto the main road and head over to the highway to go back home. CDF is still in persuit of my slow *** 14 second vette that gets shitty gas milage and is slower than it looks.

I finally get on the highway. I'm in the right lane, kinda hoping CDF and his christmas tree 350Z will just pass and not give me any problems. Its a real catch 22. Do you save your gas and not race CDF, or show him how dumb he is?

Just as I figured, he decides to do a ricer flyby. I kinda laugh at him. He slows back down, and his buddy in the passengers seat is pointing and laughing at me. I wish I knew what was soo funny. 5 seconds later... Another one. He slows back down and lines up with me again.

This time, I get the good 'ole 2 beep sequence. I'm doing about 55mph."beep.... beep" (I'm waiting for the third one...), and he's off. The third beep comes as he's already moving. I throw it into 3rd and hawk his *** down, leaving him way back in my rear view. I let off... And the typical ricer thing happens. He stays in it until he passes me.

Its over, right? I wish. He wants round 2. Like that wasnt bad enough already. I continue my speed at 55mph. "beep... beep" AND HE'S OFF (should I have expected anything else?). I'm in 3rd again, and just like before, I blow the doors off his christmas tree, but.. He's gotta do his ricer flyby.

I've had enough now. My exit is coming up, and its not worth missing it... I'd love to hear the excuses now, or his explanation as to why he lost.

Never had a sucessful encounter with a cool 350Z owner... Hopefully I'll find one someday.

 

good story man lol, yeah i have never seen any cool 350 z owner there all ****** lol,should rename the car to 350dbag

 

NIce story and kill. Only two 350Z owners I know that ar enot douche are in the same company I am. The one tried t o make claims how fast his car was till he finally brought to the track when I had my G8. He claimed he woudl beat me with his cold air, cat back. I ran 3 seconds on average faster then him. He finally seen the light. But he still has his 350Z, he just don't think its fast no more.

 

Haha...saw your long *** post and almost didn't read it. Glad I did though. Thats some funny stuff! I honestly don't know any non-duesh 350Z owners myself. Got a freind thats cool as hell with a 370Z, but thats it. Maybe CDF will learn a little after that, but most likely not.

 

funny story...

you could have called his bluff and put a little cash in your pocket at the same time.

 

Are you the original "manalishi" from here? If not, sorry...but that is one bad *** colored WS6!

 

A+ story. I do love the looks of those cars though when they don't look like a nativity scene.

 

Cool story. Good 2 kno u raped him. Agree on the 350 owner thing, they're always douches

 

Excellent read, really cheered me up during this crappy day! I really can't stand 99.9% of 350Z owners either. Yea I think the car looks pretty nice, has some pep in stock form for what it is. I'll stick to my lil 'ol Cam bolt on Z28 lol

 

350 and 370z owners are all the same. Most of the ones I've met are worse than Honda guys (that is a hard feat to conquer too)

Good puppy kicking

 

omg im literally LMAO while reading this... blows my mind to think there are ppl who believe this stuff... btw you show way more restraint then me i usually LOL in their faces and recite statistics for them... similar story, in 99 i bought a left over 98 z28... got a borla exhaust and whisper lid, did all the free mods, bbk long tubes... at the same time my neighbor got a 91 RX7 and put thousands into it full roll cage engine swap bigger turbos i dont even know but he had a whole garage full of parts he spent all winter putting on and when i finally heard the thing reving in his garage i went over to have a beer with him(i brought him a beer) after a while he proceeded to tell me that my car was a waste of money and i should have gotten a mazda that his car revs to 10k and the higher it revs the more power it makes, plus it weighs alot less, and gets better mpg etc... i however had been to the track the very first day i owned the car and knew it went 13.2 @ 106 BONE STOCK with an iced down intake adjusted tire pressure and no air filter... so i also knew i was easily in the 12s with my mods just hadnt been back to the track after the headers and exhaust were installed... he tells me he wants to do some "shakedown runs and could he borrow my Gtech... sure! fast fwd to next week, hes had the gtech "shaking down" the car almost every night i can hear him on the long straight road my Gmoms house is on that all the locals drag race on.... im outside havin beers with a couple friends and he comes up & hands me the gtech "you wanna run that pig or what?" i LOL "yeah" everyone goes to the starting line and my friend chris is in the car with me, hes gonna be the flag man, i say im gonna just leave him at the line chris says "nah man play with him let him think hes fast first itll last longer and be funnier...
we come up to the line, i leave the TC on in drive foot on brake, no burnout to heat the tires... he does ridiculous burnout and we wait for smoke to clear.... chris lines him up he's staging and his car is LOUD no mufflers or cats... chris drops his arms and i let off the brake(no gas) i wait till i hear the "scurtscurt" of the RX7 hitting 2nd gear and i mash the throttle, easily catchng up, then i let off enough to stay side by side and watch him concentrating on the road and shifting wearing his 5pt harness while i have 1 hand on the wheel no seatbelt and im laid back in the seat not even in a good driving posture... i let up near the end and he pulls just ahead of me i get behind him, his 4ways are flashing... we turn around and go back and line right up hes screaming out the window "yeah yeah mazda bitches!" everyone is laughing another smoky burnout from him a small one from me... we line up turn the tc back on, foot on brake... arms drop... "scurtscurt" again i run him down and let off so im right with him, this time i watch his front bumper and make sure i stay right next to him dead even all the way down feathering the throttle my car "jumps" in front when i hit the throttle, but he doesnt notice this becuase his car is so loud i guess.... we turn around and go back "man i got a bad launch on that one... 1 more 1 more" "hell yeah" we line up i heat up the tires good, turn TC off stall converter at 1500 and wait for the arm drop... i leave as hard as i can without spinning too much and stay in it the whole time... he was NEVER even close i turned my 4 ways on before the 1/4 is over and i pull over to turn around... he drove right home didnt even turn around to get the guy who rode down with him (its about a mile from our houses) when we get back hes in the garage so we all go over there, i bring him a beer... he's got a drop light under the hood and hes trying to figure "what broke" nothin broke... i say "i can see your problem from here" "yeah whats that?" "mazda bitches"

 

^^^^ 2 excellent reads in one. I love this forum!! hahahaha

 

It's really funny I read this cause it's soooo true. This dude I went to grade school with added me on gaybook and seen he owns a 350Z and ALLLL this dude does is post about his damn car, post's pics with him and his car holding hands and having it as a default pic, we have mutual friends so I'll look at other people's posts and he'll comment about his damn car and how fast it is. I keep asking him to race me but all I get is excuses, all I get is bashes about LS1's and how slow they are, all I get is he'll WHOOP me, he keeps saying how fast it is, how it beats any car but yet I keep challenging him to race but he always tries to dodge the question, he even said that he can get more girls in his Z then my SS, I'm like "dude, just stop right there." I know he lives near by me too, everytime I see a Z in the street I hope it's him so I can just pull up next to him and make him **** his pants.

 

Well according to ZRacerChen, he: I quoted the whole thing rather than the blatantly dumb and funny parts but there seem to be a couple 350Z drivers with their heads on straight that posted responses in the thread - http://www.350zmotoring.com/forums/k...hmorvette.html

User Scrounger for example is obviously not a typical 350Z idiot.
Scrounger

 

HAHAHHAHA.


My dad owns a 07 350z and he def knows his car is not the fastest thing around lol. Fun car to drive tho!

 

man i had a 370z and i had to get out of that crowd. Great Cars and very quick but not as fast as some of them guys would like to think. mine was a couple tenths quicker in the 1/4 than my Trans am was stock. 13.3 vs my TA running 13.5 stock but im not dumb enough to think i would have taken down a z06 or.. a base c6 vette which some seem to think they could do stock LOL. good thrashing on the 350z. other than a handful of the HR-Z's or whatever the 350z were low 14' high 13 cars for the most part... i remember running a guy in my TA when i ran 13.5s we ran at a 1/8 track and he always ran 9.1 with intake/UDP/nittos in the 1/8th and i was running 8.6

 

funniest story eva!

 

A 350Z is a great car,.................. for a daily driver. When will these guys learn....

 

maybe all the 350z owners were u guys are are all douches. I have a 350z, it has some bolt ons, but i don't claim it to be fast at all. Im not douchey at all with it. Trust me, I know its slower then my LT1 i had before. It handles like a monster and drives nice.

That guy sounded like a complete tool and unfortunately guys like that have flooded the Z market and have given them a bad rep. O well.

 

Good kill. I have yet to find a male 350z owner who wasnt a douche. This normally goes for G35 owners as well. Fastest yada yada yada... NA 3.5 bolted... yada yada yada.

In my old 05 Legacy GT(2.5liter turbo SEDAN) I used to love having them play games like trying to get in front of me in merging lanes or thinking I was a "easy pass" on the highway. They all quickly learned that their cars were NOT as fast as they thought. Actually two dropped theirs to get other cars(Evo9 and a 335i).

Now I know my **** aint fast but little kids thinking their ANYTHING is fast and runnign their mouths deserve a little dose of reality time to time.