Official joke thread!!!
08-13-2009, 03:47 PM
#41
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Posted this a couple years ago...
This trucker stops for a meal at a roadside diner. He orders some chicken noodle soup, and starts eating it, until he notices a hair in it. He then screams, "Hey waitress!!! There's a damn pubic hair in my soup!!!"
She replies, "Well, I didn't put it there!"
The trucker pushes the bowl away and yells, "Well I ain't payin' for this ****! Besides, I lost my damn appetite!" and storms out of the diner. As he leaves, he notices a whorehouse across the street, so he decides to go have some fun. He picks a hooker and they retire to her room.
Meanwhile, the waitress is thinking about what happened and decides, "That son-of-a-bitch needs to pay for his damn soup." She noticed where he went and decides to go confront him about it. They tell her which room he's in and when she bursts though the door, the trucker is shoulders deep in some hair-pie. The waitress exclaims, "You dirty Mother ******! You won't pay for your soup because there was a little hair in it, now look at what your eating!!!"
To which the trucker replies, "And if I find a damn noodle in here, I ain't paying for this **** either!"
This trucker stops for a meal at a roadside diner. He orders some chicken noodle soup, and starts eating it, until he notices a hair in it. He then screams, "Hey waitress!!! There's a damn pubic hair in my soup!!!"
She replies, "Well, I didn't put it there!"
The trucker pushes the bowl away and yells, "Well I ain't payin' for this ****! Besides, I lost my damn appetite!" and storms out of the diner. As he leaves, he notices a whorehouse across the street, so he decides to go have some fun. He picks a hooker and they retire to her room.
Meanwhile, the waitress is thinking about what happened and decides, "That son-of-a-bitch needs to pay for his damn soup." She noticed where he went and decides to go confront him about it. They tell her which room he's in and when she bursts though the door, the trucker is shoulders deep in some hair-pie. The waitress exclaims, "You dirty Mother ******! You won't pay for your soup because there was a little hair in it, now look at what your eating!!!"
To which the trucker replies, "And if I find a damn noodle in here, I ain't paying for this **** either!"
08-17-2009, 12:08 PM
#45
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One day a teacher asked her class to each tell a story that had a moral to it.
Little Susie was first "One day we were driving down the road with all the fresh eggs in baskets in the back of the truck. We hit a bump and they all fell out and broke. The moral of my story is 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' ". The teacher told Susie she did a good job and called on Little Johnny to come up next
"Well...My uncle Ted was in Vietnam. One day he was jumping out of a plane and on the way to the ground he pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and started drinking it. There were 150 Vietnamese soldiers waiting for him, when he hit the ground he killed 50 with his M16 before it ran out of ammo, 25 with his knife before the blade broke, and he killed the last 75 with his bare hands."
The teacher stared at Johnny for a few minutes before asking "Johnny...does your story have a moral to it?"
"Oh yeah..don't **** with uncle Ted when he is drunk."
Little Susie was first "One day we were driving down the road with all the fresh eggs in baskets in the back of the truck. We hit a bump and they all fell out and broke. The moral of my story is 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' ". The teacher told Susie she did a good job and called on Little Johnny to come up next
"Well...My uncle Ted was in Vietnam. One day he was jumping out of a plane and on the way to the ground he pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and started drinking it. There were 150 Vietnamese soldiers waiting for him, when he hit the ground he killed 50 with his M16 before it ran out of ammo, 25 with his knife before the blade broke, and he killed the last 75 with his bare hands."
The teacher stared at Johnny for a few minutes before asking "Johnny...does your story have a moral to it?"
"Oh yeah..don't **** with uncle Ted when he is drunk."
