Teach her a lesson..

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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 11:19 AM
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Default Teach her a lesson..

I got this off another board.. here it goes..

She gets taught a lesson...
« on: February 2, 2005, 11:17:32 AM »

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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 11:25 AM
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i dunno if i should laugh or call the guy an *******? they both did eachother wrong? guess who wont be gettin some for a long time after that stunt?
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 11:39 AM
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thats actually a good one....
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 11:45 AM
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I love that.
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 11:51 AM
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I love it!
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 12:00 PM
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Damn I gotta print that out!!
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 12:03 PM
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hah thats f'kin great!
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 12:10 PM
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This was hilarious...It just goes to show, you get what you give. The moral of the story is if she felt loved in the first place, that would not have happened, also,it is a 2 way street and I can definitely see things from his point of view. I spent quite awhile giving to someone and got nothing in return and they were amazed when they got cut off...

Last edited by lioness; Feb 4, 2005 at 12:10 PM. Reason: signature bad
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by lioness
This was hilarious...It just goes to show, you get what you give. The moral of the story is if she felt loved in the first place, that would not have happened, also,it is a 2 way street and I can definitely see things from his point of view. I spent quite awhile giving to someone and got nothing in return and they were amazed when they got cut off...

I know what you mean, believe me!!
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 12:14 PM
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this is a rellay good one..... sending to GF right now......
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 12:33 PM
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This is a good one.
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 01:15 PM
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great... oldie but a damn good one
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by FIREHAWK #07
this is a rellay good one..... sending to GF right now......
dont lie you duesch bag(sp?)
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 03:37 PM
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I'm forwarding that to my old man....
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 03:50 PM
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thats BADASS!! definitely need to remember this!
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 05:17 PM
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hahaha.....good stuff
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 09:10 PM
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You can't get cut off if she doesn't know where you are gettin it
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Old Feb 4, 2005 | 10:21 PM
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This is funny sht!
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Old Feb 5, 2005 | 01:47 AM
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Hilarious.
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Old Feb 5, 2005 | 10:13 AM
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Been posted before, but good none the less.
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