well, it just sounds like you want someone to come out and tune your car for you... Is the car driveable as is? Not to be too critical, but in the time you've spent trying to find someone to do this for you, there are alot of basic changes you could have made for the short term to at least alleviate 75% of your issues. Have you perused through the PCM section here? Lots of valuable information for newbs, most newbs are afraid of screwing something up, but trust me, unless you do something outlandish, it's hard to really do much damage by making small adjustments at one time.
The only way you'll really understand what is going on is to get dirty with it and see the effects of the changes you make. My advice is get out there and start understanding your logs and data scanning. That will clue you in on what you need to change. There are numerous write ups on "just by how much" these parameters need to be modified by, I did send you a general theory manual, did you get anything from it?