these are pretty good
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On The Tree
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 115
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From: lewisville
these are pretty good # 1
When Cardboard Men Come In Handy..........
A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The
blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men,unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats
exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The
officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the
disabled vehicle yelling, 'What's going on here?'
'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly.
'Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?' he asks.
'Helllooooooo!!!!' says the blonde
'Those are my emergency flashers!'
#2
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond
formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some
construction workers that will make you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give
a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a
vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began
to build a house on the empty lot. The young
family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an
interest in the goings-on and spent much of
each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them
'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her
as a kind of project mascot.. They chatted with
her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her
little jobs to do here and there to make her feel
important. At the end of the first week, they even
presented her with a pay envelope containing ten
dollars. The little girl took this home to her
mother who suggested that she take her ten
dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next
day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the
teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl
how she had come by her very own pay check at
such a young age. The little girl proudly replied,
'I worked last week with a real construction crew
building the new house next door to us.'
'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will
you be working on the house again this week, too?'
The little girl replied, 'I will, if those ******** at
Home Depot ever deliver the f _ ckin' sheet rock.'
Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?
When Cardboard Men Come In Handy..........
A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The
blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road,carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men,unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats
exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The
officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the
disabled vehicle yelling, 'What's going on here?'
'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly.
'Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?' he asks.
'Helllooooooo!!!!' says the blonde
'Those are my emergency flashers!'
#2
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond
formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some
construction workers that will make you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give
a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a
vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began
to build a house on the empty lot. The young
family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an
interest in the goings-on and spent much of
each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them
'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her
as a kind of project mascot.. They chatted with
her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her
little jobs to do here and there to make her feel
important. At the end of the first week, they even
presented her with a pay envelope containing ten
dollars. The little girl took this home to her
mother who suggested that she take her ten
dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next
day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the
teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl
how she had come by her very own pay check at
such a young age. The little girl proudly replied,
'I worked last week with a real construction crew
building the new house next door to us.'
'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will
you be working on the house again this week, too?'
The little girl replied, 'I will, if those ******** at
Home Depot ever deliver the f _ ckin' sheet rock.'
Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?
