Craigslist Find of the Week: Camaro-Shaped Debris Pile For Sale, No Low Ballers!

We concours-judge this classic Camaro classifieds ad.

This one sure reads like a joke, but Poe’s Law instances seems so abundant these days it’s hard to know for sure. The car ostensibly resembles a late second-generation Chevy Camaro, although it’s wedged in between some trees and looks like a grenade has gone off in the trunk. Actually, the more we look at this, the more we think this seller—nay, artist—on Poconos Craigslist is just rattling off the myriad common CraiglList phrases in an entertaining manner. Let’s tally up some points for Craigslist artistry like we’re concours-judging this ad:

Operational Status: 8/10

Suffices “Ran when parked” clause with unrealistic date and pointless story about conditions for which it was parked. Consider an additional inane story about ownership, like “Made a Grand National owner pee his pants once out of fear.”

Exaggerated Mechanical Condition: 8/10

“Low miles for year, 66,000” makes adequate contradiction. Parts list of “350 4 barrel engine, AC and turbo 350 transmission” meets “VERY GOOD” conditions.

Consider making wild horsepower claims next time. Alternatively, consider the phrase “Needs fuel pump.” A “failed fuel pump” covers most mechanical conditions with the engine, up to and including connecting rods hanging from windowed block.

Contradictory Chassis Condition: 10/10

Needed-parts list carries on multiple lines while insisting car is collectible. Photos convey the message here and they’re worth 1,000 words. Strong work.

Ridiculous Collectability Claim: 10/10

Receives high marks for false rarity (“…getting difficult to find”), totally unreasonable price comparisons to television, and absurd Hagerty-value quote. Maximum points awarded for common verb misuse of “Needs replaced” (also acceptable as “Needs restored”). Thank you for including staple phrases “I know what I have,” “No Low ballers,” and “Don’t need to sell.” Would have also rated for “Stop Flagging [my post].”

Miscellaneous/Intangibles: 4/10

This is a well-structured ad that hits on the high points. Very well done.

However, you’ve missed some great opportunities by spelling everything correctly. An ad titled with “Camero” would have added at least three points alone. Photo quality, while poor, is still considerably too high. One favored technique is to use photos that appear to have been shot with a first-generation digital camera while running at high speed past the subject. Once you’ve uploaded those photos to your computer, take a picture of the screen with your flip phone for maximum effect. A reflection of your (unsavory) nude body guarantees a perfect score.

Total score: 40/50, EXCELLENT CONDITION Craigslist Ad

See this excellent Camaro ad here until it gets flaged [sic]. Screenshot below for posterity.