Th400 Shifting problems

Parts:
Th400 RMVB
B&M Hammer Shifter
As per the instructions I placed the transmission in low and then shifter all the way back and adjusted the cable to fit in the first hole, then shifted both into park and re-adjusted. Now heres the problem, its not a small adjustment its about 1/4in or so maybe less. So when I adjust it, It will no line up with any other hole now. So the next thing I do loosen the accual arm on the transmission just a tad so it will take up the little adjustment...well this dosnt work either. BEST ive got it to do is shift out of park into reverse fine, neutral fine, first fine, second fine, third fine. BUT when I go to shift it back down, I no longer have neutral, its accually first, but when I shift to where first should be it does nothing, but then shift to second is fine as well as third.
Has anybody else had a problem similar to this...what did you do to fix it? Ive messed with this for hours and I just cant seem to get it right. I dont like test driving the car everytime to have it still wrong and do possible damage to the transmission. To me it seems im just barely out of adjustment, because when you put it back in park its not really all the way in. If you push the car you can hear something "grind".
Any advice would be great, pictures of the cable set up would be a plus too, like where the adjustment nuts are on the threaded portion of the cable.
hey give me a call if you need more info, ill try to walk you thru it best i can
other than that, using the wrong hole on the shift lever






