Reality of car sales ads.
07-24-2007, 06:50 PM
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Reality of car sales ads. An oldie but a goodie:
Apart for Restoration - A project car missing it's rarest and most expensive pieces.
All Original Parts - A rolling time bomb on the verge of exploding.
Best Offer - A car that's been up for sale since Clinton was President.
Cream Puff - A beige car that smokes profusely.
Dealer Maintained - Since the dealer ripped off the the owner with high prices, the owner expects to rip you off with a high price.
Executive Owned - With an interior polluted by years of cigar smoke, this car lends new meaning to the word "abused".
Firm - An owner who doesn't want to sell.
Flawless - An owner who is legally blind.
Getting Married - Someone who will never own a fast car again.
Good For Collector - A car rejected by the local junkyard.
Going Abroad - A paranoid owner who recently sold his other car to a member of the Mob.
Great On Gas - A car with a 1 barrel carb.
High Mileage - Needs engine.
Illness Forces Sale - An owner who just received his mechanic's repair bill.
In Primer - A metal Chia Pet, apply paint and watch the body grow bumps.
Just Inspected - If the owner is shocked that the car passed, you'll be shocked too, that it even runs.
Leave Message - A seller in hiding due to being stalked by the last person he sold a car to.
Limited Edition - A car the manufacturer couldn't sell in it's original form.
Little Old Lady Owner - A carbon caked engine that's never seen more than 1200 rpm.
Looks Great - A car parked under sodium street lamps at 2 a.m. during a hurricane.
Low Miles - A car with a five digit odometer.
Many Extras - Radio, heater and windows.
Minor Rust - A car without floors.
Mint Condition - Untouched by children
Needs Battery - A car with a bad alternator or a bad short, or both.
Needs Engine - High mileage.
Needs Head Gasket - A car driven 100 miles with a cracked radiator.
Needs TLC - Needs about $1500 in new parts, too.
Never Seen Rain - A lemon that's been stuck in the garage since the first day the owner brought it home.
New Interior - A car with an aftermarket sunroof.
New Paint - The victim of a recent accident.
New Radio - The victim of a recent break-in.
New Springs - Driven by an owner on Slim-Fast.
New Wheel Bearings - Driven by an owner who's short and can't see the curb.
One Of A Kind - An orange car with a green plaid interior.
Original Owner - Someone on Social Security.
Pace Car - A car the manufacturer couldn't sell without decals.
Quick Sale - An owner being chased by the IRS.
Rebuildable - Good title.
Rebuilt Engine - New water pump and valve cover gaskets recently installed.
Rebuilt Tranny - New fluid and filter recently changed.
Runs Strong - Very difficult to start.
Showroom Condition - Dry rot bushings need to be replaced.
Small Dent - Needs quarter panel replaced.
Solid Body - Needs frame rails replaced.
Station Car - Runs good for about a mile before it overheats.
Tinted Windows - A car owned by a drug dealer.
Two new front tires - Needs wheel alignment.
Two new rear tires - Owner into street racing.
Two-Tone Paint - Repainted by a bodyman who's color blind.
Very Rare - One of 43,856 examples built.
Wife Forces Sale - A husband caught cheating.
Will deliver - A desperate seller.
Will trade - A desperate seller without a truck.
8,000 Original Miles - The last car built on the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving Weekend.
Apart for Restoration - A project car missing it's rarest and most expensive pieces.
All Original Parts - A rolling time bomb on the verge of exploding.
Best Offer - A car that's been up for sale since Clinton was President.
Cream Puff - A beige car that smokes profusely.
Dealer Maintained - Since the dealer ripped off the the owner with high prices, the owner expects to rip you off with a high price.
Executive Owned - With an interior polluted by years of cigar smoke, this car lends new meaning to the word "abused".
Firm - An owner who doesn't want to sell.
Flawless - An owner who is legally blind.
Getting Married - Someone who will never own a fast car again.
Good For Collector - A car rejected by the local junkyard.
Going Abroad - A paranoid owner who recently sold his other car to a member of the Mob.
Great On Gas - A car with a 1 barrel carb.
High Mileage - Needs engine.
Illness Forces Sale - An owner who just received his mechanic's repair bill.
In Primer - A metal Chia Pet, apply paint and watch the body grow bumps.
Just Inspected - If the owner is shocked that the car passed, you'll be shocked too, that it even runs.
Leave Message - A seller in hiding due to being stalked by the last person he sold a car to.
Limited Edition - A car the manufacturer couldn't sell in it's original form.
Little Old Lady Owner - A carbon caked engine that's never seen more than 1200 rpm.
Looks Great - A car parked under sodium street lamps at 2 a.m. during a hurricane.
Low Miles - A car with a five digit odometer.
Many Extras - Radio, heater and windows.
Minor Rust - A car without floors.
Mint Condition - Untouched by children
Needs Battery - A car with a bad alternator or a bad short, or both.
Needs Engine - High mileage.
Needs Head Gasket - A car driven 100 miles with a cracked radiator.
Needs TLC - Needs about $1500 in new parts, too.
Never Seen Rain - A lemon that's been stuck in the garage since the first day the owner brought it home.
New Interior - A car with an aftermarket sunroof.
New Paint - The victim of a recent accident.
New Radio - The victim of a recent break-in.
New Springs - Driven by an owner on Slim-Fast.
New Wheel Bearings - Driven by an owner who's short and can't see the curb.
One Of A Kind - An orange car with a green plaid interior.
Original Owner - Someone on Social Security.
Pace Car - A car the manufacturer couldn't sell without decals.
Quick Sale - An owner being chased by the IRS.
Rebuildable - Good title.
Rebuilt Engine - New water pump and valve cover gaskets recently installed.
Rebuilt Tranny - New fluid and filter recently changed.
Runs Strong - Very difficult to start.
Showroom Condition - Dry rot bushings need to be replaced.
Small Dent - Needs quarter panel replaced.
Solid Body - Needs frame rails replaced.
Station Car - Runs good for about a mile before it overheats.
Tinted Windows - A car owned by a drug dealer.
Two new front tires - Needs wheel alignment.
Two new rear tires - Owner into street racing.
Two-Tone Paint - Repainted by a bodyman who's color blind.
Very Rare - One of 43,856 examples built.
Wife Forces Sale - A husband caught cheating.
Will deliver - A desperate seller.
Will trade - A desperate seller without a truck.
8,000 Original Miles - The last car built on the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving Weekend.
