Need family type advice
09-01-2011, 12:11 AM
#21
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hmmm if it were me. id say f that bitch and go spend some time with my mother good relationship or not. shes not even willing to try and your questioning if the kid is even yours. sounds like a no brainer.
09-16-2011, 03:54 PM
#22
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Man that is a tough situation you are in, but I have to agree with another poster who said be reserved about the whole kid being yours thing. I know on my last deployment my ex was with Jody within 30 days of me being in country. Honestly man some of the depression could stem from the fact that she is sad about cheating. I know it sucks *** bro, trust me, but if you let this consume your whole life then you wont be able to live your own. You cant make everybody happy bro, I learned that the hard way.
09-16-2011, 10:23 PM
#23
first things first, you can only control what your doing , not what she is doing, spend time with your mom get your mind clear, life is way to short to dwell or stress on what she will or wont do, i'm not a marriage counselor by no means, retired armor senior Nco thats telling you get your head on straight focus on the good in your life and man-up, if your getting up everyday and putting your boots on its a great day, enjoy life , you control your path in life not her. Any how God Bless and Take Care
09-20-2011, 07:29 AM
#24
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I can't say that I agree with most in this post. First off im sorry for you situation, I couldn't imagine what your going through. Thankfully you have a good commander that is understanding and possibly indirectly helping you by not letting you fly and having leave be easier to take.
If I was in your shoes, after hearing she is wanting to try to work it out I would try to show her why you got married in the first place. We all know when we first start dating to when we are married a lot changes, so try to show her who she fell in love with. When my wife's dad died she was very very depressed. Thankfully she never had doubts of where she was in her life but for i'd say a year after he'd passed I was defiantly pulling much more than my weight in the relationship. Losing a parent especially if you close cannot be easy, my mother had breast cancer and wound up pulling through and is doing good now, however when she was in bad shape I was in HORRIBLE shape. It sounds like she may be feeling better, however there will still be times she will be reminded of her dad and she may revert to depression easily. It took my wife over a year to START to cope with her fathers passing, still to this day 5 years later she will randomly say, " I went to the phone to call my dad today, I can't believe hes gone."
So with that being said, I wouldn't try to solve her problems, she will deal with it how she wants, regardless of what is reasonable. If I was in your shoes, i'd make it a point to send her flowers, or chocolates something she would like, head out on a day off and take her to dinner or a movie or something and just enjoy each other like your dating. Show her that you love her and despite whats been happening you want to be with her. Its not gonna be a 50/50 deal, you will be putting a lot out there. However it sounds like your willing.
With all that said, the biggest thing I can offer, would be don't try to solve her problem. Just talk to her and treat her like you are dating and see where it goes. Hope that makes some kind of sense.
If I was in your shoes, after hearing she is wanting to try to work it out I would try to show her why you got married in the first place. We all know when we first start dating to when we are married a lot changes, so try to show her who she fell in love with. When my wife's dad died she was very very depressed. Thankfully she never had doubts of where she was in her life but for i'd say a year after he'd passed I was defiantly pulling much more than my weight in the relationship. Losing a parent especially if you close cannot be easy, my mother had breast cancer and wound up pulling through and is doing good now, however when she was in bad shape I was in HORRIBLE shape. It sounds like she may be feeling better, however there will still be times she will be reminded of her dad and she may revert to depression easily. It took my wife over a year to START to cope with her fathers passing, still to this day 5 years later she will randomly say, " I went to the phone to call my dad today, I can't believe hes gone."
So with that being said, I wouldn't try to solve her problems, she will deal with it how she wants, regardless of what is reasonable. If I was in your shoes, i'd make it a point to send her flowers, or chocolates something she would like, head out on a day off and take her to dinner or a movie or something and just enjoy each other like your dating. Show her that you love her and despite whats been happening you want to be with her. Its not gonna be a 50/50 deal, you will be putting a lot out there. However it sounds like your willing.
With all that said, the biggest thing I can offer, would be don't try to solve her problem. Just talk to her and treat her like you are dating and see where it goes. Hope that makes some kind of sense.
