This is funny.
This is funny. I was going to put this in the 'Who are you voting for" thread just to lighten it up a little but its locked. Its too funny not to share.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1832102
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1832102
I leave for 4 days to party and threads get locked and people are using personal attacks. Man, buncha ideological koolaide drinking, corrupt toads. I prefer the Terry Tate vidz
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1885241
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1885241
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10 Second Club
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 702
Likes: 0
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2009:
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
2. PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood
4. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
Watch for these consolidations in 2009:
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
2. PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood
4. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
TECH Fanatic
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,209
Likes: 0
From: Monroe, Washington
McCain versus Obama Jokes
If John McCain is elected President of the United States then the French will immediately surrender to us. If Barack Obama is elected President then the French will immediately invade us.
Here an interesting fact: If you add John McCain's age and Barack Obama's age together you'll get the number of times Obama usually says "uh" when answering a question.
The age disparity between the two candidates in the upcoming election is significant. John McCain is 71 years old. By contrast, Barack Obama is 322 years old in dog years.
Q. Why did John McCain cross the road?
A. There was an Old Town Buffet on the other side.
Q, Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
A. To help the other side.
After Barack Obama claimed to have campaigned in 57 states, John McCain should have sent him the name of a good Alzheimer’s specialist.
John McCain rolled up his sleeves and went offshore in the Gulf of Mexico looking for oil for American drivers. Barack Obama responded by going to the shores of Hawaii, taking off his shirt and oiling up his torso for American soccer moms.
Barack Obama's camp claims that John McCain was cheating in their first forum appearance because he actually gave straight answers to the questions. Politicians aren't supposed to do that.
It's a hard election for conservatives this year. They'll have to hold their noses tight in order to cast a vote for John McCain. But they'll have to hold on even tighter to their wallets if Obama gets elected.
The sad fact is that if John McCain is elected President he might not last another four more years. A sadder fact is that if Barack Obama is elected President then America might not last another four more years.
If John McCain is elected President of the United States then the French will immediately surrender to us. If Barack Obama is elected President then the French will immediately invade us.
Here an interesting fact: If you add John McCain's age and Barack Obama's age together you'll get the number of times Obama usually says "uh" when answering a question.
The age disparity between the two candidates in the upcoming election is significant. John McCain is 71 years old. By contrast, Barack Obama is 322 years old in dog years.
Q. Why did John McCain cross the road?
A. There was an Old Town Buffet on the other side.
Q, Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
A. To help the other side.
After Barack Obama claimed to have campaigned in 57 states, John McCain should have sent him the name of a good Alzheimer’s specialist.
John McCain rolled up his sleeves and went offshore in the Gulf of Mexico looking for oil for American drivers. Barack Obama responded by going to the shores of Hawaii, taking off his shirt and oiling up his torso for American soccer moms.
Barack Obama's camp claims that John McCain was cheating in their first forum appearance because he actually gave straight answers to the questions. Politicians aren't supposed to do that.
It's a hard election for conservatives this year. They'll have to hold their noses tight in order to cast a vote for John McCain. But they'll have to hold on even tighter to their wallets if Obama gets elected.
The sad fact is that if John McCain is elected President he might not last another four more years. A sadder fact is that if Barack Obama is elected President then America might not last another four more years.
If McCain wins I drop all the prices on all the race stuff I am selling. If Obama wins I am jacking the price of everything 200.00 to help "redistribute" your wealth into my pocket.
