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Chuck Norris.

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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 03:17 PM
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Every time a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked

Chuck Norris invented testosterone

Whenever Arnie says "I'll be back" its because he is going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

Chuck Norris can jump start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Chuck Norris, .... I'm to scared to finish...

The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas"....until they met Chuck Norris
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted by rabiddog
Every time a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked

Chuck Norris invented testosterone

Whenever Arnie says "I'll be back" its because he is going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

Chuck Norris can jump start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Chuck Norris, .... I'm to scared to finish...

The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas"....until they met Chuck Norris


As much as I hate racial jokes, the last one made me bust out laughing in the middle of class!!
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 04:43 PM
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Originally Posted by rabiddog
The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas"....until they met Chuck Norris
Lmfao! Love this one... and I don't see how its racist.

Chuck Norris once walked into a stripclub with an erection........there were no survivors.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 04:45 PM
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When Chuck Norris is in Rome, the Romans do as Chuck Norris does.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 06:59 PM
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Chuck Norris' calender doesnt have April 1st, because nobody fools Chuck Norris
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 07:38 PM
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I made up one for when he dies, but I'm saving it.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 08:03 PM
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Lmao !
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by -Ross-
I made up one for when he dies, but I'm saving it.
bummer, i was hoping to hear it at some point! I guess we shall never hear it then.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by 11SecVette
bummer, i was hoping to hear it at some point! I guess we shall never hear it then.
It's in my will. Don't bother my children...please.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by 11SecVette
bummer, i was hoping to hear it at some point! I guess we shall never hear it then.
thats because chuck norris died 100 years ago but the grim reaper is too scared to tell him
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by kingd_202
As much as I hate racial jokes, the last one made me bust out laughing in the middle of class!!
How the hell is that racist? Please tell me you're not the kind of person who calls EVERYTHING racist.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 10:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Slash8915
How the hell is that racist? Please tell me you're not the kind of person who calls EVERYTHING racist.
I am guessing it's racist because I am white!


here is one that is on the line

A Japanese man can eat 17 hotdogs in 45 seconds. Chuck Norris can eat 45 Japanese men in 17 seconds.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 11:05 PM
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Originally Posted by rabiddog
The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas"....until they met Chuck Norris
never heard that one. also wondering how that was racist? lol
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 11:13 PM
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Chuck Norris is actually a set of twins but he told the other one to wait.
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Old Sep 7, 2011 | 11:46 PM
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A short story by Ross:

Chuck Norris once threw up in his mouth a little. He then swallowed it much enjoying the taste. From that day forward, every time Chuck Norris viewed a horrible craigslist ad, changed a poopy diaper, toured a morque, read a post by DUY, etc., he purposely threw up in his mouth a lot just to enjoy the taste of his own vomit. He called it a "re-fuel".
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Old Sep 8, 2011 | 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted by -Ross-
A short story by Ross:

Chuck Norris once threw up in his mouth a little. He then swallowed it much enjoying the taste. From that day forward, every time Chuck Norris viewed a horrible craigslist ad, changed a poopy diaper, toured a morque, read a post by DUY, etc., he purposely threw up in his mouth a lot just to enjoy the taste of his own vomit. He called it a "re-fuel".
LOL best one yet!!
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Old Sep 8, 2011 | 08:41 AM
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Black Eyed Peas is a pop band. Fergie (white chick) and some other white dude are in the band too. How is that racist?

Chuck Norris isn't racist, he is an equal opportunity ***-kicker.
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Old Sep 8, 2011 | 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Nine Ball
Black Eyed Peas is a pop band. Fergie (white chick) and some other white dude are in the band too. How is that racist?
You left out the point that they sound like crap without there recording studio sound effects in there music. Remember the SuperBowl a couple years back. My ears are still bleeding from that.

There was absolutely nothing racest about the Chuck Norris joke
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Old Sep 8, 2011 | 10:08 AM
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Good stuff in here lol!!

Side note lol - The other day I was watching walker texas ranger and it came to a scene where a shaman guy was like "I have been expecting you" .. I immediately yelled out at the T.V. "No you weren't!! Chuck Norris has been expecting you!! LOL.
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Old Sep 8, 2011 | 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Charlay
Good stuff in here lol!!

Side note lol - The other day I was watching walker texas ranger and it came to a scene where a shaman guy was like "I have been expecting you" .. I immediately yelled out at the T.V. "No you weren't!! Chuck Norris has been expecting you!! LOL.
LOL GREATNESS!

By the way ... Chuck Norris drives a pickup truck completely upholstered in denim.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
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