Chuck Norris.
09-09-2011, 09:50 PM
#62
Chuck Norris does not go hunting, as the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing
When god said "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris said "Say please..."
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably
When god said "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris said "Say please..."
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ******* Indian.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably
09-10-2011, 02:35 AM
#65
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they say he once broken into a convent and banged a bunch of nuns. their children grew up to be the 1972 miami dolphins
chuck norris invented the third gen
thanks to chuck norris, the dos equis guy now prefers shiner bock
chuck norris invented the third gen
thanks to chuck norris, the dos equis guy now prefers shiner bock
09-10-2011, 02:53 AM
#66
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Saw this a while back and it seems appropriate for this thread. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
Last edited by kramsdell; 09-10-2011 at 03:01 AM.
09-10-2011, 09:05 AM
#67
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Chuck Norris has the greatest poker face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
09-12-2011, 11:29 AM
#72
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush a toilet he scares the **** out of it.
Chuck Norris once won Iron Chef using an easy bake oven.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack because his heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once scared to fur off of an ewok, we know her as Snookie.
Chuck Norris once pissed in a semi's gas tank as a joke, that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby, first on Hiroshima then on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin, it's descendants are known today as giraffes.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush a toilet he scares the **** out of it.
Chuck Norris once won Iron Chef using an easy bake oven.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack because his heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once scared to fur off of an ewok, we know her as Snookie.
Chuck Norris once pissed in a semi's gas tank as a joke, that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby, first on Hiroshima then on Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin, it's descendants are known today as giraffes.
09-13-2011, 08:28 AM
#76
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Chuck Norris is the only person I know that can tweet a novel.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he allows everyone else to have air.
Chuck Norris is the New Testament.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be known as the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a corner off of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he allows everyone else to have air.
Chuck Norris is the New Testament.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be known as the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a corner off of it.
09-13-2011, 02:27 PM
#77
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Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.
Chuck Norris has never laughed in the face of death cause he finds nothing funny about his own reflection.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments at a discount.
Chuck Norris was once pulled over by a cop, the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet that the loser would have to wear their underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris tried to join the military but there are rules against weapons of mass destruction.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
Chuck Norris has never laughed in the face of death cause he finds nothing funny about his own reflection.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments at a discount.
Chuck Norris was once pulled over by a cop, the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet that the loser would have to wear their underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris tried to join the military but there are rules against weapons of mass destruction.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
09-13-2011, 07:41 PM
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Chuck Norris surfs the internet on a virtual wave of 0's and 1's.
Chuck Norris has PS3 on his iPhone.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with the Mona Lisa and won.
Chuck Norris has PS3 on his iPhone.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with the Mona Lisa and won.