A Halloween story
10-27-2011, 11:09 AM
#1
A Halloween story A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he
writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right
as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and
he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your
Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the
Company another nasty letter of complaint.
The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST.
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your
Wooden Leg up your *** and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he
writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right
as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and
he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your
Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the
Company another nasty letter of complaint.
The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST.
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your
Wooden Leg up your *** and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
10-27-2011, 07:30 PM
#5
On The Tree
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Two Old Men Decide They Are Close To Their Last Days And Decide To Have A Last Night On The Town.
After A Few Drinks, They End Up At The Local Brothel
The Madam takes One Look At The Two Old Geezers And Whispers To Her Manager, 'Go Up To The First Two Bedrooms And Put An Inflated Doll In Each Bed. These Two Are So Old And Drunk, I'm Not Wasting Two Of My Girls On Them. They Won't Know The Difference.'
The Manager Does As He Is Told And The Two Old Men Go Upstairs And Take Care Of Their Business.
As They Are Walking Home The First Man Says, 'you Know, I Think My Girl Was Dead!'
'Dead?' Says His Friend, 'why Do You Say That?'
'well, She Never Moved Or Made A Sound All The Time I Was Loving
Her.'
His Friend Says, 'could Be Worse I Think Mine Was A Witch.'
'A Witch ??. . .. Why The Hell Would You Say That?'
'well, I Was Making Love To Her, Kissing Her On The Neck, And I
Gave Her A Little Bite, Then She Farted And Flew Out The Window....
Taking My Teeth With Her.'
After A Few Drinks, They End Up At The Local Brothel
The Madam takes One Look At The Two Old Geezers And Whispers To Her Manager, 'Go Up To The First Two Bedrooms And Put An Inflated Doll In Each Bed. These Two Are So Old And Drunk, I'm Not Wasting Two Of My Girls On Them. They Won't Know The Difference.'
The Manager Does As He Is Told And The Two Old Men Go Upstairs And Take Care Of Their Business.
As They Are Walking Home The First Man Says, 'you Know, I Think My Girl Was Dead!'
'Dead?' Says His Friend, 'why Do You Say That?'
'well, She Never Moved Or Made A Sound All The Time I Was Loving
Her.'
His Friend Says, 'could Be Worse I Think Mine Was A Witch.'
'A Witch ??. . .. Why The Hell Would You Say That?'
'well, I Was Making Love To Her, Kissing Her On The Neck, And I
Gave Her A Little Bite, Then She Farted And Flew Out The Window....
Taking My Teeth With Her.'
