BigPapi61

iTrader: (1)

If a tree fell in the forest and no one was around, Chuck Norris would hear it.

Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his TV. He simply gives it "the look" and the television changes channels in fear.

FatZ28

iTrader: (1)

Chuck Norris can blow a bubble with beef jerky

Chuck Norris once brought a dead lamb back to life by rubbing it with his beard, he then round house kicked the lamb to prove the good chuck giveth and the good chuck taketh away.

Chuck Norris once round house kicked the down syndrome out of a young boy

Chuck Norris is 1/4 Indian. Not because he was born that way, but because he ate a whole ****** Indian.

DWZ28

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection, there were no survivors.

If you can see chuck norris he can see you, if you cant see chuck norris you may be only seconds away from death

in an experiment chuck norris smoked 10 packs of cigarettes a day for 5 years and developed 7 differant kinds of cancer, only to get rid of them by doing 30 minutes of flexing, beat that Lance Armstrong.

Slomaro

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris only *********** to pictures of Chuck Norris.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

chargerR/T

Chuck Norris refuses to play sorry, because he never is.

pinesol_hater

iTrader: (3)

Chuck Norris is so tough he eats glass and craps marbles.

ls1rocker

iTrader: (7)

During sex Chuck Norris wears the condom inside out....so Chuck gets all the pleasure.

will69camaro

iTrader: (19)

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris shot down a german plane during WW2 by simply pointing his finger like a gun and saying "bang."

Chuck Norris had a "who has more *********" contest with Lance Armstrong. Chuck Norris won by five.

It took 3 women 5 years to give birth to Chuck Norris.

IBraK4vettes

Chuck Norris doesnt tbag the ladies... he potato sacks them.

Grimlock

iTrader: (5)

So..... He's an ok guy but why all the fascination with him all the sudden? I'm even hearing about all this stuff in real life out here everywhere I go.

6THZ28

iTrader: (11)

it's not fascination as much as it is "clowning" on chuck.. it's lame imo. never got into the chuck norris crap. chuck norris talk is like emo to me. i never heard of it unit VERY recently. the jokes are mildly funny tho, granted

demon340v

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.


They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Ahh i love Chuck Norris he has the gift of bead.

pengu

"When Chuck Norris goes to give blood he declines the needle. Instead he asks for a bucket and a gun"

"Chuck Norris once at an entire cake before anyone could tell him there was a stripper inside"

"Chuck Norris actually died 5 years ago, Death is just too afraid to tell him"

"Chuck Norris was in the beta of Street Fighter but he was later removed when testers found out that every button you pressed caused him to do a roundhouse kick"

LS_Juan

iTrader: (1)

i wish chuck norris would come through my computer and punch both my eyes swollen shut...........

2002t/a06

iTrader: (2)

chuck norris can beat the sun in a staring contest.

a-mean-89-iroc

iTrader: (4)

Chuck Norris has no fear, Fear has chuck norris!

kokingSS

iTrader: (2)

chuck norris doesnt read books he stares them down until he gets the info he wants from them.

chuck norris doesnt need spell check, if he mis-spell a word oxford changes it for him.

1stz06

iTrader: (18)

Alright, here I go, I freakin love these.:

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris is the only 100% effective form of contraception.

Chuck Norris is where babies come from.

They use Chuck Norris' foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee Stadium.

Chuck Norris is the reason bad things happen to good people.

Chuck Norris once donated 10 liters of his own blood and that same day he won the Tour de France on a pogo stick.

Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "Don't come near me mother F*cker, or I'll roundhouse kick the sh*t out of you". The phrase has since been changed to, "Don't mess with Texas."

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

The movie Rambo: First Blood was inspired by Chuck Norris' experiences as a Boy Scout.

Chuck Norris was the original Danny Tanner on the hit family sitcom Full House. He was replace by Bob Saget after an unfortunate incident with one of the Olsen Triplets.

If you know someone who doesn't like Chuck Norris, you won't know them for long.

Chuck Norris doesn't leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.

Chuck Norris drives Optimus Prime to work.

The Fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris.

All 99 of Jay-Z's problems are Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris hit puberty during the second trimester.

Chuck Norris once struck lightning.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris Experience.

When he is alone at night, Chuck Norris like to wear slippers with bunnies on them. Real live bunnies.

There are two kinds of people in this world; people who are Chuck Norris and people who are going to die.

There are two types of women: those who want to sleep with Chuck Norris and those who want to sleep with Chuck Norris again.

J.R.

kokingSS

iTrader: (2)

WOW ^^^ you are good.

pewter99ls1

One day Chuck Norris kicked a horse in the chin......nowadays they are called giraffes!!