Northwest Members WA, OR, ID, MT, WY, SD, ND

Why I fired my Secretary

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old 10-03-2008, 11:48 AM
  #1  
11 Second Club
Thread Starter
iTrader: (5)
 
KrautBurner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: driving my 88 integra :(
Posts: 1,301
Received 1 Like on 1 Post

Default Why I fired my Secretary

Why I fired my Secretary


Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought..

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked o n my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm goi ng to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there...

On the couch..

Naked.
Old 10-03-2008, 12:02 PM
  #2  
12 Second Club
iTrader: (7)
 
razorclaw99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: nj
Posts: 1,230
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Default

nice
Old 10-03-2008, 12:07 PM
  #3  
12 Second Club
iTrader: (5)
 
nitr0racing21's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,010
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

oh ****! wasn't expecting that lmao
Old 10-03-2008, 12:12 PM
  #4  
TECH Senior Member
iTrader: (1)
 
NHRAMAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Vancouver,[KITSILANO].B.C. Canada *WestCoast*
Posts: 8,810
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Talking

Old 10-03-2008, 02:14 PM
  #5  
Staging Lane
iTrader: (5)
 
LS1>*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 83
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Excellent story....

It's been floating around the internet for quite a while, but I still laugh every time I read it...lol
Old 10-03-2008, 03:32 PM
  #6  
TECH Apprentice
iTrader: (3)
 
XLR8N's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere sliding sideways
Posts: 377
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Nice!!!
Old 10-03-2008, 04:00 PM
  #7  
10 Second Club
iTrader: (8)
 
TwoFast4Lv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: LT1 land...the "409" of the 90s!
Posts: 10,023
Received 6 Likes on 5 Posts

Default

Very Nice!
Old 10-03-2008, 04:16 PM
  #8  
TECH Resident
iTrader: (18)
 
5301113's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Odessa TX
Posts: 953
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

that is freakin hilarious Thats a big bedroom for any apartment

Last edited by 5301113; 10-03-2008 at 04:22 PM.
Old 10-03-2008, 04:17 PM
  #9  
TECH Addict
iTrader: (41)
 
Bad Blue WS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Germantown Hills IL
Posts: 2,003
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Old 10-03-2008, 04:27 PM
  #10  
10 Second Club
iTrader: (5)
 
SpaZMaN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chi-Town
Posts: 1,373
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Default

Hahaha, thats awsome!
Old 10-03-2008, 06:31 PM
  #11  
10 Second Club
 
NWDragRacer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 702
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

My wife didn't get it.
Old 10-03-2008, 06:51 PM
  #12  
TECH Fanatic
iTrader: (8)
 
My1st Truck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: B-town
Posts: 1,797
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Default

Love it Russ!!!
Old 10-03-2008, 07:14 PM
  #13  
hashtagBMW
iTrader: (38)
 
Speed Density's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Boise, Idaho
Posts: 6,572
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes on 2 Posts

Default

GOod one!

I
Old 10-03-2008, 08:07 PM
  #14  
11 Second Club
iTrader: (19)
 
crazylane's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Whidbey Island, Wa.
Posts: 965
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Default

That would be a puker factor on that one... Wonder how you would explain that to your kids... lol
Old 10-03-2008, 09:41 PM
  #15  
Launching!
iTrader: (6)
 
2000BlackM6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicago suburbs , IL
Posts: 230
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

lol, that was awesome
Old 10-04-2008, 12:15 AM
  #16  
Staging Lane
 
MyKeE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: So.California (805)
Posts: 97
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Default

lol...that was good.

can u imagine if this were a real scenerio (minus the nude guy of course) I bet that guys wifey would be giving him all kinds of **** the next day, for going over to his secretary's apartment.

....so why did u go over, u didnt know it was a surprise, what did you think was gonna happen?

Last edited by MyKeE; 10-04-2008 at 12:21 AM.
Old 10-04-2008, 12:48 AM
  #17  
TECH Apprentice
 
BAD-GTO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fontana
Posts: 372
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

LOL...first time ive read this joke. funny ****!
Old 10-04-2008, 10:20 AM
  #18  
TECH Addict
 
howierd42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,563
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Default

at least he was in his birthday suit
Old 10-04-2008, 10:23 AM
  #19  
TECH Enthusiast
 
slammer454's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 606
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Default

Originally Posted by howierd42
at least he was in his birthday suit


that **** never gets old.



Quick Reply: Why I fired my Secretary



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:38 AM.