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Old Dec 30, 2008 | 02:11 PM
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Default Need help finding someone!!!!

OK, so im going to try and not go into great detail, but also try and explain this the best i can... So my GF is currently separated, she has been trying to get a divorce with this guy for about a year now, but as of 3 months ago, he has dropped all comunication with her, and any other shared contacts. He moved from VA to PA and when he did, created a PO box, but has not given any indication to his currents address. He refused to sign the serving waver, so without his new address, he cannot be served, so the divorce is stopped.
NO PAPERS = NO DIVORCE

The guy is a real jackass, and has a control issue, he must be in control at all times. her leaving him, and then attempting to divorce him has put him in the passenger seat. so his response was to make it impossible for her to find him. My question to everone here is, what can she do to find this guy, or atleast find is current address? her lawyer told her there is nothing she can do except hire a PI. but both of us are under 25 yrs old, PIs arent cheap.

anyway, i figured there are people on here from ALL walks of life, i thought there may be somebody with some good advice, or maybe even been through a situation like this. Id love to just drive around PA looking for him, find him, and burry him 10 ft under in some amish backcountry. but even in PA they have laws against that.
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Old Dec 30, 2008 | 03:08 PM
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You have no idea where he is in PA? If you had a basic idea, I would start contacting the local police, and have them keep an eye out.

Unless you want to put his picture on here and have us PA members keep an eye out, I'm not sure what else to tell you!
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Old Dec 30, 2008 | 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by 69lemansguy
He moved from VA to PA and when he did, created a PO box, but has not given any indication to his currents address. He refused to sign the serving waver, so without his new address, he cannot be served, so the divorce is stopped.
NO PAPERS = NO DIVORCE
Have the lawyer request (through the court) a supoena for the address of the PO Box holder through SUBPOENA DUCES TECUM (A command to a witness to produce documents) as this can be done through the Postmaster or Commercial Box Holder. Then, you can proceed....
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Old Dec 30, 2008 | 07:07 PM
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you can do background checks on people online for a small fee. not sure how much it will bring up but should give you a current address atleast. or like said above call local or state police and keep a look out for him.
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Old Dec 30, 2008 | 10:11 PM
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Where is the post box located, ZIP?
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Old Dec 30, 2008 | 10:15 PM
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yeah where's the po box? and i'm pretty sure its a law in pa that if you have a po box you have to retain a real address also.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 07:55 AM
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Thanks for the quick responses everyone.

Originally Posted by Mr. B
Have the lawyer request (through the court) a supoena for the address of the PO Box holder through SUBPOENA DUCES TECUM (A command to a witness to produce documents) as this can be done through the Postmaster or Commercial Box Holder. Then, you can proceed....
We are pretty sure that the PO box is attatched to his Moms address, since she lives in PA as well. Apparently he had the PO box before they met. But she is gongi to write her lawyer an email anyway asking about it.

Originally Posted by TheTugBoat
yeah where's the po box? and i'm pretty sure its a law in pa that if you have a po box you have to retain a real address also.
The PO box is located in Elizabethtown, 17022. Again, we think its attached to his moms place.
She is unwilling to help, or answer her phone either. Dont know what story he has told his family, but im sure it wasnt very flattering towards my GF.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by stevethepirate
You have no idea where he is in PA? If you had a basic idea, I would start contacting the local police, and have them keep an eye out.
If i contacted the local police, do i just tell them the situation? I havent ever delt with a smaller comunity police department. If i tried to tell the "local police" here in northern VA about something like this, they wouldnt give me the time of day.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 11:08 AM
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You could try to get the divorce through abandonment. It is a little more complicated to do, but can be done. You might also try to have his mom subpoenaed, as it sounds like he has contact with her.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 11:21 AM
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a little update: I went online and purchased a background check on him. was able to find some addresses. with a little help from google and facebook, found out where he works. called the place and asked for him, said he wasnt in the office. Since we were able to confirm where he works, my gf sent her lawyer an email to see if we can serve his work, since he will be there everyday.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 11:22 AM
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i know elizabethtown. i live about 35 minutes from there. we should meet up and i'll show you around.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by want297z
You could try to get the divorce through abandonment. It is a little more complicated to do, but can be done. You might also try to have his mom subpoenaed, as it sounds like he has contact with her.
I dont think abandonment will work because she left him. he has jus trefused to go through with teh divorce, and from what her lawyer said, that just means its a contested divorce, and that her and him have to figure it out. seems stupid to me... ill see if she wants to ask her lawyer abotu possibly makn her mom tell us his address.

Thanks again everyone for the advice and ideas.
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by kenSS
i know elizabethtown. i live about 35 minutes from there. we should meet up and i'll show you around.
lol, that might not be in my best interest, but ill def keep you in mind if things change
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by 69lemansguy
If i contacted the local police, do i just tell them the situation? I havent ever delt with a smaller comunity police department. If i tried to tell the "local police" here in northern VA about something like this, they wouldnt give me the time of day.
Was hoping the Zip may have been a little closer and that I might have known another officer in the area, but no such luck.

Sorry to say it, but you would get the exact same here. This is a civil matter, not criminal, so they are not going to put any time into trying to dig up info on this guy when they have no reason for involvement. You may get lucky and talk to an officer who has personal knowledge of the subject. This would be no problem to give out. But no one is going to run him or his vehicle, or check departmental records for a civil matter.

Hope everything works out for you,

Mike
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Old Dec 31, 2008 | 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Mike00FRC
Sorry to say it, but you would get the exact same here. This is a civil matter, not criminal, so they are not going to put any time into trying to dig up info on this guy when they have no reason for involvement. You may get lucky and talk to an officer who has personal knowledge of the subject. This would be no problem to give out. But no one is going to run him or his vehicle, or check departmental records for a civil matter.

Hope everything works out for you,

Mike
thats how i figured it would be. Thanks man
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Old Jan 1, 2009 | 07:20 PM
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etowns like 30 minutes from me, where's he work.
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Old Jan 1, 2009 | 09:22 PM
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69lemanns... PMed you
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Old Jan 26, 2009 | 06:57 PM
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Hey everyone, its been a crazy few weeks, but just wanted to give a little update. So during this time lots has happened. but the bottom line is this, we were able finally get the guy to sign the waiver, it arrived today in the mail. here is how it happened... so after many more talks with the lawyer, we discussed one option of having him subpoena'd to court. and since we knew he wouldnt show up, it would mean they would go to his house and arrest him for failure to show. so what we did was finally got in touch with his mom, and told her "if your son doesnt sign the papers, we will have him subpoena'd and arrested." next day my GF gets a text from him saying, where do you want me to send the papers? 1 week later we have signed papers.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and ideas. a lot of what was said here, i then brought up to my GF and she then asked her lawyer about.
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Old Jan 26, 2009 | 10:46 PM
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I was sure it would work- always does!
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Old Jan 27, 2009 | 12:38 AM
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So much for him being in control.

Sounds like it ended well.

Re'
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