RPM WS6

iTrader: (3)

My answer is this:

It's a false sense of security that people have when they assume that their children will be there for them when they are old. This is not always the case. Sometimes, your kids end up wanting nothing to do with you, your interests, or even wanting to help care for you as you age. I watched this exact situation unfold between my mother and her parents. This was a big factor in my decision to avoid having children.

Also, not all children grow up to become normal people. Sometimes, they have development issues that make them a burden (to varying degrees) to their parents for their entire lives. This is comparable to what my wife has seen in her family, and a big reason why she wants to avoid having children.

So in the end, we were a perfect match on this decision based on our separate experiances. After 11 years of marrige we haven't changed our minds. I think a lot of people have kids without really thinking about what can go wrong. In some cases, even if the worst happens it's not a problem because the child is born to stellar parents that can handle anything. But in other cases, unexpected things go wrong and some parents don't do well by themselves or their kids. These are people that never should have been parents, yet unfortunately they didn't realize this prior to having kids. I've seen and lived through this first hand with my family, so has my wife to some degree. We don't want to be faced with the "what ifs".

Also, not having kids gives you freedom to do things that parents can't. I, for one, have enjoyed a massive amount of financial freedom that never would have been possibile with children. Overall, I'm more concerned with how my life unfolds while I'm here than who gets my stuff when I die.

The only people that should ever have kids are the people that really want them. It's never something you should do just because society tells you to, or because you feel obligated for some reason.

Red Orange 96

iTrader: (2)

^ well said. i am 29 & to this day and know i should not be a parent. starting off debt free is another way to financial freedom.

StuntmanMike

iTrader: (2)

I'm only 30...assuming I die of old age, I really doubt I'll have a car then that will be worthy of being left to someone.

If I go early, my younger brother and sis will get what little **** I have to leave.

And like RPM said, how do you know you'll even like your kids enough to leave them anything anyway? Look at Gran Torino...Clint's kids were jerks, he left his car to the neighbor boy.

Mumbles

iTrader: (5)

You make some very good points and I'm genuinely glad that the way you've chosen to live your life has worked out well for you. Many, many people can't say the same.

You seemed to have learned from others mistakes and avoided making the same ones in your own life. Good job, man.

Don't get me wrong, you haven't changed my mind. I definitely want kids and its not just for the reason of leaving all my **** to. I simply poised the question I did because we all obviously care about our cars. Otherwise we most likely wouldn't be on this forum at all.

Just wanted to see what kind of answers were out there. I'd say you have a good one.

Although, I have to disagree with the "what if" factor. Life's too short to live it that way. I'll take my chances, especially for one of my own.

Mumbles

iTrader: (5)

I'm the same age as you (I'll be 31 in April) and my only brother is 28 years old, so if I pass of old age I'm pretty sure my stuff probably won't go to him.

Like I said in the above post, I'm not gonna play "what if" with life. Not to say I'm irresponsible with my decisions, but I had a really good childhood. I've seen and lived how it should be done, so I'd say I have a really good chance of succeeding at parenthood. *cross your fingers*

Gran Torino is a great movie! I guess I'll have to hope and help my kids not to grow up to yuppie pieces of **** as Clint's character's children were.

You both have great answers to my question. And again I meant no disrespect by it. It just something to think about.

RPM WS6

iTrader: (3)

Like you, I never try to change anyone's mind. It's a personal decision and I don't push my views on people just like I don't want them pushing their views on me (not at all saying that YOU were, just a general statement...lots of parents like to preach to me about what I'm "missing" - yet they fail to realize that they too are "missing" out on certain things....like a level of freedom I have that parents don't/can't have).

Also, I too am in my early 30s. So it's interesting to see how different people of the same hobby and age group can view things.

That may be why our feelings differ so greatly. Mine was great too, until I was 10. Then, a situation occured that changed everything for me and completely reshaped the way I view life, family, and how I planned to live as an adult.

Life is all about experiances and how they shape you. That's why there's really no right or wrong answer when it comes to personal decisions like this. I'm glad to see that you too have found your path and I wish you luck.

samson_420

iTrader: (1)

It is our opinion. . . .

I will be turning 30 this year. . . . I love my ****, I am completely OCD about all my stuff. I just went through some serous ****. If you have seen my other post. I just got done with a Chapter 7 where I am shoveling off over 330k. So, I just experienced some stuff that I am very happy I had no kids to put through.


Having kids should not be done by incompetent people who just don't care, IMO.


But this will happen no matter what. I see it all too often in my profession.


As for myself. I learned more in the last 3 years of my life then I have in the rest of my adult lifetime.

In my eyes, I must have kids. If I don't I will not have anything to pass beyond me. I just been thinking about this for a while also. Who will be there when you are 65 and have no one related to you left?

When you have kids, you are taking a chance, a big one. I see people with kids, and I could see what they are going to be like when they get older. A lot of times it sucks. . . . But, I say it's worthy chance.


This is all my opinion. I just came to this only about 2 years ago. . . . Also never say never.

223HAWK

iTrader: (11)

It is a bummer when you work and work and have nothing to show! Im 21 and now live back at home. Im employed by my step-dad (we own an HVAC business) and we have got really slow. IV went from making 25,000 a year to less than 10 from 08 to 09. That sucks! I had to move back home, Im very thankful that my parents and I get a long great. It sucks for my g/f and I, the Mall she was working, the store went under, she found a job within a week and is a VERY hard worker. Im a very lucky guy to have her. Shes much harder worker than I, Saves money much better because she wants soo much for use. Iv given up partying and eating Taco-Bell and McDonalds, so that saves me A LOT of money. Iv found out if I want my car fast or nice, I have to sell other parts I have. Thats one good thing I have a lot of parts that Iv got over that years since I started playing with cars. Theres a lot of stuff I want to do to my car but I just dream, yes Im not married to my g/f but I do plan on it when the time is right, so I respect her thoughts on spending tons of money on the car. And right now I just dont have the extra $$. I dont own a credit card and wont apply for one. If I dont have the money then I dont get buy something. Iv gotten into a Pinks All Out eventand I have been busting my *** to come up with extra cash to make the car faster and suspension parts. Im starting to learn that Life, and my g/f is more important than my damn car. I want a house, Jesus Im 21 and have to live at home, I plan on going to school this fall to get a better job, not that mine is bad but I dont work but 15hrs a week. Yeah I make a lot an hr but Im just not geting the hours..One day Things will come together for everyone that trys!!

samson_420

iTrader: (1)

My best friend lost his job almost 8 months ago and had to move in with his GF's parents. He changed. . . . I feel for em'. . . . . He just finally got a job, it took him 6 months.

So sucks. . . . . .


I make way good money at my job, I feel like I can get canned at any day. . . . It sucks, the economy is tough. Lucky I have a GF that makes almost as much as I do

Sir Harmony

I have no debt, and just put about 12k into savings this year alone. No credit cards and no loans. The only problem is making as much as I do, you get taxed beyond all belief when you're single and have no kids. Ironically, my uncle's accountant told him that to cut back on his taxes, he would either have to get married or have a kid. That is a pretty f'ed up reality.

Last week, I thought my gf of 5years was pregnant. I nearly had tears in my eyes. lol. My demeanor changed, and she tried to console me. I almost purchased an engagement ring last year, but that would almost certainly mean kids in the near future. I told everyone that I'm not having a kid until I purchase that corvette. Is that too much to ask for?

samson_420

iTrader: (1)

Good luck


I am trying to save up to buy a house. . . After my BK, I need 50% down. . . I had it, by the GF needed a car. So put up the cash.


No, I am still trying to save. . . . .

I told her no kids until I feel somewhat financially secure.


House, 2 nice cars(now I have 3, and enough to pay bills for a year. . . . So this way only one of can work and we will be okay for a while.

RPM WS6

iTrader: (3)

My cars are a big part of my life. Without them, life would not be nearly as fun. I would never look at it as "life vs cars"; it's more like "cars = part of a good life". Same with being married, that's never been a trade-off for the cars, it's just another part of the equation. I never would have married a woman that would make me choose between her or the cars.

Everyone is different I guess.

Mumbles

iTrader: (5)

Definitely not gonna play that card, for the exact reason you stated. Very good point.

Couldn't have put it better myself. Thanks, man.

01formula6

iTrader: (7)

Sure I get frustrated working full time and not having money for mods. I bought a condo a few years ago and until recently was the very definition of "house poor". Living paycheck to paycheck just to pay bills is not fun. These bills ended up rolling over onto various credit cards to get me by. So this winter I had to make the decision to move back with my parents at 28. I ended up renting out my condo and just finished paying off my last credit card yesterday. What a great feeling that was.

Yes that all sucked and I haven't had spending money in about 4 years, but it could be a lot worse. I have a place to live, a great family & GF, a job, own a condo and own a car. A lot of people struggle to afford food, so when I get down about not modding my car, I try to remember this.

StuntmanMike

iTrader: (2)

You are a wise man, my friend. I agree with just about everything you say.

I'm looking for a girl who is interested in and supports my hobbies...I don't want to have to compomise what I'm into or change who I am for someone.

I'm actually dating a girl now who is somewhat into cars...she's an only child, she was kind of the son her dad never had, lol. She's expressed interest in going to the track and 4 wheeling with me, which I think is very cool.
She also offered to help me work on my Jeep, which I think is sexy.

As far as leaving things when Igo, or passing things on, I really don't feel the need. I don't have the need to pass on a "legacy" or anything, and possesions are just things...I don't really think it matters what happens to my stuff after I die.

Oddly enough, I had a great childhood, my parents would make excellent grandparents, and Ive been told my multiple people that I'd make a great dad. I just have no desire to have kids.

NeedaV8foundation

iTrader: (4)

man im in my first year of college and have ALTEAST 4-5 more years to go. It sucks every day when i read nineballs post about him putting a new set of $3k rims on his z06 or viper every other day and i have yet to buy one set of rims for my car

Latch

iTrader: (8)

I would have a lot more money to spend on mods if my insurance weren't as much as my car payment!

It SUCKS being 19 and liking fast cars... even if you're responsible and don't get tickets or cause accidents, insurance companies still charge you as if you're a maniac.

I work my *** off but because I have such a low wage job, I hardly get any money out of it. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time. It's gonna be a while before I can even get a decent exhaust setup on my car. Since I got my car, everyone asks me when I'm gonna get exhaust, but I can't afford anything except Flowmasters!

RPM WS6

iTrader: (3)

Just make sure that she's on the same page as you when it comes to the kids thing. There are more men that don't want kids than women, and some women think they can change a man after marrige. Not saying your girl is like that, obviously I don't know her, but it's important to make sure your feelings are similar on this topic long before you start to ever think about marrige. When I started to feel like the girl I was with was "the one", I had the kids conversation with her soon after. It needed to be done before things went too far, since this was a deal breaker for me.

One thing I always say about looking for a spouse and marrige in general....there are no perfect people, only perfect matches. My wife would be a horribile match for a "trendy" sort of guy that drives a Prius, wants 7 kids, and votes for liberals. But for me, she's the perfect woman.

LOL! Try not to judge yourself against the extremes of the spectrum, it leads to false conclusions about where you really are. Most people fall somewhere in the middle. Remember, for every Nine Ball out there that has an amazing toy chest and seemingly endless financial resources, there's some poor bastard that's stuck with an '89 Civic and $25 to his name; at least you're doing a lot better than that guy.

KevinR

Lol.. Man, you aren't in any different shape then a lot of 19 year old people out there. I was making about 800 bucks a month when I was 19, but that's because I was in the military. I'm 32 now and make a good amount of money per year, have a wife, house, and two kids. I swore off kids when I was younger, but now that I have them, I wouldn't change it for the world.
Just set your goals, and continue doing what you do...Work your *** off. It will pay off.

Mr CHI

iTrader: (3)

Well, once you get out of college, and get ~10 years of experience in your field, don't you think you'll be able to buy some $3k wheels? Especially if you sell them and get discounts. Don't let other people success get you down. That's how people become "haters". Don't become one of them.... please.

There's a lot of work, and even "catches" behind most people with flashy things, but all we see is the "flashy things". Nobody will see those 4-5 years you spent in college, and long hours at work, but they'll see the wheels/cars though.

I say "most" because some people get lucky and marry rich or inherit money, etc..

Not having kids of course is a personal decision. I couldn't deal with the "what-ifs", as I worry about almost everything, all the time, so I'd probably go insane if I was having a child. Plus, kids are really expensive. I know I cost my folks a nice chunk of change.

Most people I see with kids today are still kids themselves, or just aren't very good parents. Shame.