00 Freak

iTrader: (34)

My favorite *** chewing was when i was in basic and i was in formation waiting for our flight to be called in for chow and there was a another flight next to ours. Well TI would want us to learn the different ranks and signas. Well the loudest and best *** chewing TI asked this guy from another flight a question. The question was "What is the rank signa of a colonel." The kid replied with " the rank signa of colonel is a parrot." When he replied, he attracted the other TI and they just swarmed all over him. There must have been 10 TIs. And the another funny part was the TI told the guy "So our national bird is Tucan Sam." They tore him a new one. That is funny. Never will forget that. Thats classic.

BizZzatch350

iTrader: (33)

LOL, thats funny as hell

785T/A

iTrader: (5)

During my long stay at the luxurios Great Lakes Naval Recruiting Cammand , my division had our very own Gomer Pyle. (sp) This fine specimen of a sailor decided to sneak back a roll in his pocket with 3 packs of peanut butter. And got caught. Since our RDC's think that our 900 division should hold our standards higher than anyone else. We should be able to handle some serious IT beatdowns. Our RDC Yells stand by to stand by and leavs. We know we are Fuked. He comes back with two other RDC's and a bag of chips, two cookies, and a block of neopolitan ice cream. Everyone gets called to attention in front of our racks. Then our Gomer Pyle is sat in the middle of the room in a chair. Our RDC gives him the food minus the Ice cream and tells him to start eating and yell "Im a dumb *** and you guys are paying for it" over and over again. The RDC takes the ice cream out of the box and sets it on the table next gomer in the middle of the room. The three RDC's start tearing us up with every IT excercise known to man. This crap went on until the ice cream melted then Gomer had to clean it up. IT sucked real bad but now I look back its kinda funny.

Thats when we found out what an Ice cream party was.

hawaiiboysz

iTrader: (4)

Damn that is a good one! Funny though that line "specimen of a sailor" hahaha funny one!

tinhead

i'll never forget the time back in '89, during basic, when one of the drill sgts cussed me out. we were turning in our rifles and were told to stand at attention with our eyes closed when done. well of course that was a bad idea. i nodded off and fell backward a bit. i was like "oh, sh*t, hope nobody saw that". next thing u know i hear, HEY YOU!!!! HONG KONG FUEY!!!! being the only asian i was like who me? YEAH YOU CHINESE CONNECTION, DROP G*DDAMMIT, DROP!!! needless to say i was pushing earth for a while.

camaroguy_02

lol funny stories.. hopefully mine matches up

back in basic, me, my dorm chief, an another guy from my element were in the chow line just inside the door. now, we're supposed to keep our head/eyes straight forward, with our portfolios in our right hand (or was it left?), but we saw a female kp'er walk by. of course, 4th week in, susie rottencrotch looks like beyonce, so we had to look. i culda SWORN i felt the ground shake beneath my feet as i saw out the corner of my eye the meanest, baddest, and biggest TI in my squadron stormed over. got within 5 ft of us an pointed to all 3 of us who looked, an said "you you an you, get ur a$$e$ over there by the snake pit NOW!" so, we promptly scurried over like good lil trainees an stood at attention in front of the whole chow hall as multiple TIs checked our portfolios to make sure they had everything in there. then, when we were left alone, some TI that looked like big bird offa sesame street walks over an just randomly blurts out "DUMBASS!" to the dude next to me, then walks away. of course, that prompted myself an my dorm chief to politely chuckle, which drew more attention to ourselves
that was a horrible experience as we had to scarf down our lunch after everyone left, then we cleaned the whole squadron's patio of EVERY drop of pigeon poo within 2 hrs, or else we wulda been sacked 2 weeks. thats probably why i hate birds so much now...

sgt0704

iTrader: (3)

hahaha. specimen... seaman... hahaha.

sorry, navy joke..

bene

iTrader: (16)

That joke never gets old.

tonyrssll

iTrader: (1)

When I left for basic training I had a bad attitude. Of course that made things bad for me. Anyway I flew to San Antonio and went to the side of the airport everyone is supposed to go. I'm standing there asking why everyone is sitting at attention and being quite. Someone tells me to shut up and sit down...I tell him to F### off and not to worry about me. He was my future TI and I didn't know it. I could write a book on *** chewings during basic.

MightyHercWS-6

thats bullshit...i've been in for almost 4 years in the airforce and passed 2 of the probably 20 PT test i've had...they arent gunna kick out anybody over a PT test. i can see it now..what a great investment we made spend all this money on tech school and training only to kick you out on a PT. awesome move. it wont happen. **** half the people in my AMXS have fails and they just keep sending them to HLW (healthy living workshop)

Daredevil_TA

iTrader: (6)

Back when i was in the ol' Nat'l Guard, we were doing inventory down in lovely Ft. Riley KS. One morning, my buddies an i stop at the PX on our way to work to pick up some chow. I walk out food an hand an just decided to kinda high step it to my buddy's jeep without puting on my head gear. Well this guy all pimped out in his hunting gear decides to give me a hard time an asks wear my head gear is it. I proceed to tell him its in my pocket an i didnt grab it because my hands were full an i was about 10ft from my buddy's jeep. He didnt like that comment to well an dragged me over to his truck where the *** chewing began. As my wonderful luck would have it Elmer Fudd here is a Sergeant Major about to do some hunting for the weekend. He takes my I.D gives me the ***-chewing of my life an asks for my chain of command, who we're attached to, etc etc etc. This guy wanted my rank an everything. I wasn't too worried because we weren't really attached to anybody an we were leaving the next day. About a month later at weekend drill my Plt SGT comes up to me an asks if i've pissed off an SGM's lately. I was like...oh.....you heard about that? Apparantly he got an email from that SGM explaining what happened. I got kinda quiet but he just laughed an thats all she wrote, lol.

shandy294

SGMs are ****** from what I remember.

I got chewed-out by a SSG Courtesy Patrol at Ft Bragg during basic. It was a Sunday and we were allowed training center privileges. A buddy and I were walking along BSing and this jeep does a sudden stop and the SSG get out and yells at me for not having my field jacket zipped all the way up.

He asked what unit I was with and I said "A-6-2". He just looked at me and said "man...fucked-up" and got back in the jeep(pre-humvee days).

GIJosh

In AIT (Ft.Leonardwood Engineer School) I saw a guy get caught with a cell phone and he had to do mule kicks all the way up and down the barracks and on three different floors yelling "He haw, Im a jack ***!" And this same guy the next day got caught doing somthing else so this time it was bear crawls saying "Grrrr!!! Im a dumb ***!!! Hahaha. And here is another favorite from basic at Knox: duck walking in the day room with my entire platoon and qwacking while getting yelled at for failing an inspection.

aggiez28

iTrader: (19)

you have got to be kidding me????? how can you not pass an AF pt test?
you have to one hell of a fat *** to fail a marine pft.

i can see failing once or maby twice in 4 years due to some weird circumstance but failing 18 out of 20 is sad.

they need to NJP (may be a different term for it in the AF) you and take pay or somthing.

if i was your CO id do everything i could to take your pay and give you all the **** jobs i could. your a pathetic POS.

StoleIt

iTrader: (3)

Hmm got so many...Okay so my regular FTO's like to our flight to report in nice and loud. Then half way through FT we switched FTO's, dorms, the whole lot. So we proceed to report in as usual, sounding off at the top of our lungs. This new FTO doesn't work that way. Man did we have to do alot of pushups for yelling at him. "Brinkworth! Would you speak to your mother like that if she was right here?!"

Nother good one, a prior e reporting in to the same guy kept ******* up on standing 2 paces away from the desk. He kept thinking he was too far away so after doing laps he comes back in and is literally touching the desk, reports in. Capt. B tells him to take two steps forward. "Sir, if I take two steps forward I would be standing ontop of your desk..." "Take a lap..."

Ahh good times.

hydrotroop

Well this is a *** chewing story of an airmen i work with and thank god he is not my troop, but anyway this airmen use to go to the nighttime command runs because he was on graves. When he showed up to the parking lot which is in the middle of nowhere he needed to take a **** really bad. So after looking around he decides to squat behind his car and take a **** while everyone starts to run. Well wouldn't you know that the squadron commander was in the car in front oh him looking for people trying to skip the run. Well we will say he was caught with his pants down . The commander at first thought he was just hiding and bitched him out and told him to start running. The next day he had the airmen go over and explain to him why he was hiding . I'll just say pretty much he told the commander he was shitting because he couldn't hold it anymore . The commander fell out of his chair and didn't even punish him for being caught was punishment enough. Now we actually have portapotties there for the runs

ATCFLYBOY02

iTrader: (7)

OMG dude thats funny as ****!! I have never heard one like that before!!

I did al little *** ripping my self... I had the "troop from hell" and he lived up to this... 3 DUI's and he was underage... Ya know the law says dont drink unless you of age... plane and simple right... WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this little **** decides to come to work drunk on morning... here is the good part!! I pick his drunk *** up off of the floor after he fell and drag his sorry *** into my CC's office... I also called my wife (who is a cop on base) to give him the are you drunk test... He fails, as usual and gets taken into confinement. I go up there when I know he has the worst headache of his life and start bitching him the **** out!! this went of for like 2 hours... me and my super took turns... man that was a great day.. needless to say, he is now gone and will never be missed!! Have a grea Air Force day!!

DR

craparo

iTrader: (3)

Oh man there are so many *** chewing stories I would have to think forever.. I remember in bootcamp the DI's would always "fire up the grill" (because they referred to IT'ing us as getting smoked) and one time they had about 8 or 9 of us up there getting smoked for the platoon fatass stealing peanut butter packets from the chow hall and getting caught. They made him lay on his side all model like and hold his chin up with his hand and forced him to smile. Looking back it was hilarious, because he looked like he wanted to cry but was smiling. It ended up turning into a huge fight right there on the quarterdeck, one of many times.

There has been a lot of GREAT *** chewings out here in iraq too, although Im glad it is over, especially out at a fob with a line company (seeing as someones life will depend on simple **** ups). Id say some of the best and most original ones come from the 03-- field (marine corps) minus the drill instructors at bootcamp.

Damn, a lot of AF guys in here too. I didn't even know you guys got *** chewings (no offense or anything).

As far as the navy part goes, I have seen some senior corpsman lay into some boots out here, that **** is the best.

WarBird69

NOT true.

I'l be the first to admit it, I have a PT problem. My PT problem is I *HATE* PT! If i'm not literally forced to go to the gym, I won't go. Anyway, they *will* kick you out for PT. After 3 failures in a 24 month period, your file is sent to the wing commander for review. He can then recommend you for seperation if he feels you aren't improving enough. Just recently, your PT score won't count against you on your EPR, but you will be classified as "not meeting standards", which affects a lot as well.

Trust me, I was one failure away from going from SSgt (sel) to Civilian. I know the ins and outs of the Air Force PT program. They won't kick you out right away, but if you keep failing... they will boot you.

01Z0H6

iTrader: (63)

Funny now... Not @ the time though...

I was inside of a FOB in Southern Afghanistan with some 3rd Group guys that i was attatched to.. We were there simply to ****,shower,shave... Well.. **** & shower!!

anyway.. i step out of the makeshift latrine with my "drive on" rag on my bald head and this guy tells me to get that thing off of my head... I was an E7 @ the time... So i replied NO.. it's hot,i'm tired, and you're not wearing a blouse.. ( DCU top) therefore i could not identify him... He tells me again.. Get that F@#%% rag off your head!!

The guy standing next to him say's he's the CSM.. ( Command sergeants Major).. E9..

So, i peel the rag off of my head and tell the CSM that he needs headgear and a blouse... ( What's right is right)..... This guy almost pisses in his pants he is so pissed!!!

He tells me to wait outside on him til he gets his top, headgear on...

I go inside, put mine on as well. & wait for him...

He comes out... looks me up and down asks who i was & whom i was working with.. i told him the US Embassy.. ( that's all i could say), he extended his hand and told me that we were both wrong and that i was welcome in his FOB anytime....

Pretty funny now...