Your favorite ass chewing story!
#1
Your favorite *** chewing story!
Dunno why I thought of this but mine is pretty weak!
A 1st LT (Commanders bitch) I dunno what their real job title is anyway she chewed my *** for not going to the gym because I failed my PT. I explained that I was working and we are low manned on 7 lvls. Anyway she didn't like my answer so she started screaming at me. So I locked it up before she could tell me to then she grabbed her collars and yelled WHAT ARE THESE? HUH! WHAT ARE THESE! I TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE GYM ITS MANDATORY! BLAH BLAH ******* BLAH... So After I blinked the spit out of my eye I answered her MAM! THOSE ARE BDU COLLARS MAM!!! No smile not even a smirk came out of my mouth. My Flt chief left the office to go and laugh outside. She then Screamed at me GET OUT OF MY FACE! So I did a couple facing movments a waited out side of the office. She thought I was on day shift I just got off of mids and just sat there watchng TV. My flight chief came by and said go home and that was ******* crazy! I had to sign a LOC the next day. HAHA LOC get outta here.
A 1st LT (Commanders bitch) I dunno what their real job title is anyway she chewed my *** for not going to the gym because I failed my PT. I explained that I was working and we are low manned on 7 lvls. Anyway she didn't like my answer so she started screaming at me. So I locked it up before she could tell me to then she grabbed her collars and yelled WHAT ARE THESE? HUH! WHAT ARE THESE! I TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE GYM ITS MANDATORY! BLAH BLAH ******* BLAH... So After I blinked the spit out of my eye I answered her MAM! THOSE ARE BDU COLLARS MAM!!! No smile not even a smirk came out of my mouth. My Flt chief left the office to go and laugh outside. She then Screamed at me GET OUT OF MY FACE! So I did a couple facing movments a waited out side of the office. She thought I was on day shift I just got off of mids and just sat there watchng TV. My flight chief came by and said go home and that was ******* crazy! I had to sign a LOC the next day. HAHA LOC get outta here.
Last edited by hawaiiboysz; 06-01-2006 at 10:59 AM.
#3
TECH Fanatic
iTrader: (19)
Ummm
I had just gotten to Germany as a buck *** E2. I had gotten assigned to support platoon in a Field Artillery unit and needless to say, i had a fucked up buck sergeant for a boss and unbeknownced to me, he was Supposed to do daily room inspections before 0900 formation.
He didn't and i did not care about anything except my bed being made and my personal inside my walllocker.and to make sure the wall locker was locked.Everything else was just no big deal, or so i thought.
So one day ,i was in the barracks during lunch,downstairs talking to my buddy ,who was on CQ, and in walks the DIVARTY CSM and DIVARTY COMMANDER Full Bird.
Me being and e2, i struck an interest with them and they decided to check out my room for a surprise inspection. Im thinking cool. no big deal right?
****
He walked in and my roommate(e-4) was in the room sleeping during lunch and the room was in utter chaos(according to them) dust on the tv, scuff marks on the floor, skid marks in the *******(from 15 minutes prior)amongst other discrepencies.
Needless to say **** rolls downhill to my 1SG and he was so pissed off that the **** is fixing to hit the fan.
He walks into the PX/Food Court and calls my two NCO's to attention and proceeds to tear them a new ******* for 15 minutes about how fucked up my room was, the food court was so quiet you could hear a pin drop,except for my 1SG yelling,of course.Anyway i did push ups for about three hours, and moved the room down three flights of stairs ,set everything up outside,cleaned it,then took it all back upstairs.didnt get off work to go to sleep until 1159 that night. That was my favorite *** chewing. but i grew up and started chewing *** myself before i got outta the military.
Hope u guys like this.
Joshua
I had just gotten to Germany as a buck *** E2. I had gotten assigned to support platoon in a Field Artillery unit and needless to say, i had a fucked up buck sergeant for a boss and unbeknownced to me, he was Supposed to do daily room inspections before 0900 formation.
He didn't and i did not care about anything except my bed being made and my personal inside my walllocker.and to make sure the wall locker was locked.Everything else was just no big deal, or so i thought.
So one day ,i was in the barracks during lunch,downstairs talking to my buddy ,who was on CQ, and in walks the DIVARTY CSM and DIVARTY COMMANDER Full Bird.
Me being and e2, i struck an interest with them and they decided to check out my room for a surprise inspection. Im thinking cool. no big deal right?
****
He walked in and my roommate(e-4) was in the room sleeping during lunch and the room was in utter chaos(according to them) dust on the tv, scuff marks on the floor, skid marks in the *******(from 15 minutes prior)amongst other discrepencies.
Needless to say **** rolls downhill to my 1SG and he was so pissed off that the **** is fixing to hit the fan.
He walks into the PX/Food Court and calls my two NCO's to attention and proceeds to tear them a new ******* for 15 minutes about how fucked up my room was, the food court was so quiet you could hear a pin drop,except for my 1SG yelling,of course.Anyway i did push ups for about three hours, and moved the room down three flights of stairs ,set everything up outside,cleaned it,then took it all back upstairs.didnt get off work to go to sleep until 1159 that night. That was my favorite *** chewing. but i grew up and started chewing *** myself before i got outta the military.
Hope u guys like this.
Joshua
#6
TECH Fanatic
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Wichita Falls,TX
Posts: 1,032
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I remember getting chewed out by the battalion commander because one of my men was killed coming back from a four day holliday when he fell asleep at the wheel and drove into a tree. The colonel chewed me out because it was my job as company commander to give all my troops a safe driving lecture before they left for the holliday. Since one of my troops killed himself while driving it was my fault because I must not have given a good safe driving lecture......I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.
#7
Originally Posted by hawaiiboysz
Dunno why I thought of this but mine is pretty weak!
A 1st LT (Commanders bitch) I dunno what their real job title is anyway she chewed my *** for not going to the gym because I failed my PT.
A 1st LT (Commanders bitch) I dunno what their real job title is anyway she chewed my *** for not going to the gym because I failed my PT.
Trending Topics
#8
Originally Posted by nmarple254
You failed a PT? I would bitch you out too, that's kinda sad. Even if you do work alot gotta fit it in.
#9
Staging Lane
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Osan AB Korea
Posts: 84
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
knee thing is no excuse i'm in the air force 7lvl and i just had a acl reconstruction on my knee and i past my pt test with 87. i'm 31 210lbs and i also maxed my pushups and situps. for you to fail you must have a big *** gutt and i know its hard to work out while you are in rehab for the knee. you need to make my up your mind do you want to stay in or get out because 2 more fails and you are gone.
#10
No Gut! And yeah acl lcl were damaged Patellar Broke. Im 28. Also the patellar tendon allows you to kick your lower leg foward. No excuse **** off. There is something as too ******* much so I said **** it and took my time. The lady at the HAWC looked at me and said why am I here? My knee hurts and the docs say its ok. Im pissed about that whole thing because they also lost my med records when I was at Lakenheath for rehab. I have no documentation for anything.
#11
Trunion King
iTrader: (16)
Chill...
I got my butt chewed during basic training. My TI was pissed that I kept messing up my reporting statement. So he spear-headed a decision (like that? it's EPR bullet phrase) to make me say my reporting statements to all the trees, shrubs, doors, mirrors, etc. til I got tired and finally say it right.
I got my butt chewed during basic training. My TI was pissed that I kept messing up my reporting statement. So he spear-headed a decision (like that? it's EPR bullet phrase) to make me say my reporting statements to all the trees, shrubs, doors, mirrors, etc. til I got tired and finally say it right.
#13
10 Second Club
iTrader: (14)
Originally Posted by hawaiiboysz
No Gut! And yeah acl lcl were damaged Patellar Broke. Im 28. Also the patellar tendon allows you to kick your lower leg foward. No excuse **** off. There is something as too ******* much so I said **** it and took my time. The lady at the HAWC looked at me and said why am I here? My knee hurts and the docs say its ok. Im pissed about that whole thing because they also lost my med records when I was at Lakenheath for rehab. I have no documentation for anything.
torn acl and separated ac in the left shoulder (basketball kills!) and with only 9 months of limited duty, i still have a first class 289 pft..that aint no 1.5 miler with pushups either...marine corps baby!
#14
Originally Posted by 1gen
one time I in basic I convinced a guy to respond with "you cant smoke a rock" when our SDS told us he was gonna smoke us lol
#16
when i was in boot camp and was coming back to the squad bay i forgot to say recruit on deck so my DI it'd th **** out of me then made me go back and forth from the squad bay and the hall saying recruit off deck and come back and say recruit on deck 100 times..
#17
TECH Junkie
iTrader: (21)
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 3,164
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
most of you guys will probably call me a some names...
but, in the Navy...**** doesnt go down like that. Not on my ship. Im an E4, and i work closely with 4 other people, 2 of which are senior to me (E5 and E6).
No ******* way they will do anything like the stories you guy have to me. It just doesnt work like that on my ship. We all work together, do the same job, and are pretty damn close. If one of them got in my face like that, i honestly would probably just laugh.
but, in the Navy...**** doesnt go down like that. Not on my ship. Im an E4, and i work closely with 4 other people, 2 of which are senior to me (E5 and E6).
No ******* way they will do anything like the stories you guy have to me. It just doesnt work like that on my ship. We all work together, do the same job, and are pretty damn close. If one of them got in my face like that, i honestly would probably just laugh.
#18
TECH Enthusiast
iTrader: (3)
the times that i've worked with the navy, i really haven't seen a whole lot of *** chewing going on. however, when i was in biloxi, there was this AF SSGT that was getting into some airman's ***. at first i though he was a Marine.. he was down the hall, and he was loud. then he said, " I'm a SSGT in the United States Air Force...." and our class just busted out laughing. that was some of the funniest **** i'd ever heard.
#19
TECH Junkie
iTrader: (21)
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 3,164
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by sgt0704
" I'm a SSGT in the United States Air Force...." and our class just busted out laughing. that was some of the funniest **** i'd ever heard.
#20
TECH Fanatic
iTrader: (3)
If you are fucked up, you are fucked up. DO what's in the limits of y our profile. If it still hurts bothers you, request a "fit for duty" physical. That should determine what you can and can't do.
I've realized over the years that it's stupid to just suck it up and drive on. I'm only 29 and hurt like a ******* 40+ year old man. WTF. It's plain stupid to "Drive-on" thur the pain. All you do is hurt yourself worse. And you may never recover. Some people have the ability to recover fine from injuries. Some don't. Also some get lucky and see a real doctor and have the conditions diagnosed properly and don't have to walk on bad knee's, ankles, bad hip for years "sucking it up".
The military medical system is a prime example of how bad communical healthcare would be if it was passed into law here in the states.
Some of you saying "I've done it. I've been hurt and worked thru it" Great. Doesn't work for everyone.
How many Infantry type guys in here? Airborne? How fucked up/heathy are you now? I'm sure as hell beat up and have only 10 years in. I couldn't imagine myself lasting for 20 years at this rate. It's plain old un-healthy. ****. Tankers beat their knees up all the time jumping off the tanks from a good 6-8 ft up.
In closing I'll say it takes a certain special individual to last in the military in a high-tempo/physical job. Not everyone can do. Not everyones body is built to take the abause. Even if you are phyically fit and take care of yourself. Someone always comes along and passes a stupid *** order that may Kill/hurt/maim you.
So enough of the Chest pounding.
I've realized over the years that it's stupid to just suck it up and drive on. I'm only 29 and hurt like a ******* 40+ year old man. WTF. It's plain stupid to "Drive-on" thur the pain. All you do is hurt yourself worse. And you may never recover. Some people have the ability to recover fine from injuries. Some don't. Also some get lucky and see a real doctor and have the conditions diagnosed properly and don't have to walk on bad knee's, ankles, bad hip for years "sucking it up".
The military medical system is a prime example of how bad communical healthcare would be if it was passed into law here in the states.
Some of you saying "I've done it. I've been hurt and worked thru it" Great. Doesn't work for everyone.
How many Infantry type guys in here? Airborne? How fucked up/heathy are you now? I'm sure as hell beat up and have only 10 years in. I couldn't imagine myself lasting for 20 years at this rate. It's plain old un-healthy. ****. Tankers beat their knees up all the time jumping off the tanks from a good 6-8 ft up.
In closing I'll say it takes a certain special individual to last in the military in a high-tempo/physical job. Not everyone can do. Not everyones body is built to take the abause. Even if you are phyically fit and take care of yourself. Someone always comes along and passes a stupid *** order that may Kill/hurt/maim you.
So enough of the Chest pounding.