I need some advice.
I need some advice. I had written a huge post but I read it and it didn't sound like me so I'll just ask the question. When do you say enough is enough when a close family member (father) is fighting a terminal illness and the treatment is as bad if not worse than the disease? He has also stated he has had enough and it won't get better. He has fought for 9 months and the original life expectancy was 6 months to a year. The illness can not be cured unless by a miracle. Please leave the political and religious debates out of this. Just a little advice would be appreciated. My mother has left the decision to me and I have decided but would like to know if it is the best decision and if not why it isn't. Thanks.
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,023
Likes: 6
From: LT1 land...the "409" of the 90s!
Does he still have rational thought? IF so What does he want? It sounds like he has made his desicion. I would respect it.
I am an evil twisted person by many accounts but do respect others choices. I have also seen a few people in my life have there lives stretched out for the comfort of others and nothing more.
"IF" it were "ME" I would ask my Mom to respect his choice.
I am an evil twisted person by many accounts but do respect others choices. I have also seen a few people in my life have there lives stretched out for the comfort of others and nothing more.
"IF" it were "ME" I would ask my Mom to respect his choice.
Does he still have rational thought? IF so What does he want? It sounds like he has made his desicion. I would respect it.
I am an evil twisted person by many accounts but do respect others choices. I have also seen a few people in my life have there lives stretched out for the comfort of others and nothing more.
"IF" it were "ME" I would ask my Mom to respect his choice.
I am an evil twisted person by many accounts but do respect others choices. I have also seen a few people in my life have there lives stretched out for the comfort of others and nothing more.
"IF" it were "ME" I would ask my Mom to respect his choice.
We went thru the same thing with my dad. His wife wanted to keep him around as long as possible, but he was on IV morphiene & it wasn't touching the pain. He went so far as to ask me to go get his pistol for him. Luckily his body gave up a couple days later. VERY TOUGH!
I agree with Ellis, respect HIS wishes & let him go. You'd do the same for your dog....but that is legal....go figure.
I agree with Ellis, respect HIS wishes & let him go. You'd do the same for your dog....but that is legal....go figure.
Went through this with my gramps. He stated in his Will he wanted to be let go if he was in bad shape and to not try and save him. He had a really bad stroke and his body was failing him after that, as well as his mind. 3/4 paralyzed and unable to communicate. When he was able to have visitors we could tell he was pissed about being alive in that condition. He passed away about 6 months later in a nursing home.
It's a tough decision, but if he was coherent when he stated he wanted to be let go I would honor that decision.
Good luck with what you decide.
It's a tough decision, but if he was coherent when he stated he wanted to be let go I would honor that decision.
Good luck with what you decide.
TECH Addict
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,563
Likes: 0
From: Seattle, WA
I too have had to make these decisions over my dad and then my mom. His was cancer and hers was other complications. It is never easy. Honor their wishes and make certain all is in order and everyone knows where everything is.
Sounds like some pretty good and consistent advice!
My step dad has suffered numerous strokes and is basically a torso with a head and mostly useless limbs. He's also coherent only part of the time. He has chosen to continue on and basically watches TV all day. His choice. Tough to deal with though.
My step dad has suffered numerous strokes and is basically a torso with a head and mostly useless limbs. He's also coherent only part of the time. He has chosen to continue on and basically watches TV all day. His choice. Tough to deal with though.
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