i was at work a while back and had a patient come in that was in alright shape, he got shot but not anything critical. Any way he got shot at a drug house. I had to interview his admission and asked what he was doing when he got shot and he proceeded to tell me he is an undercover cop and was working obtaining information...my response is "uhh huh well why was your drug screen positive"...he said "as part of my job I sometimes have to sample" lol i was ROFL it only went downhill from there...how can someone tell you this with a straight face

 

LOL People are so stupid. Why do people feel the need to lie so much. I hate it

 

He must have just watched the movie Training Day.

 

He was probably so high he thought he was telling the truth.

 

You know how you can tell when a junkie is lying?




Their lips are moving.

 

o shiiit...so true

 

That's awesome. I love these weird things people will say. I work at a bank in the collections department. Let me tell you...people will say the stupidest things.

 

I had a good one today (I work in IT).

Co-worker: Yo, Mike
Co-worker: Can I add color to a black and white scanner?
Co-worker: REAL QUESTION
Me: I don't believe you
Me: You made that up
Co-worker: I so want to send them a box of crayons


-Mike

 

Ha Ha. Okay let me post one.

Debtor: I never opened an account.
Me: I have the signature card and your photo ID to prove it.
Debtor: I opened it long time ago.
Me: Sure and then you left your account over drawn.
Debtor: I never overdrew it.
Me: You did I have your Visa checkcard number to prove it plus the paper work that the card was issued to you.
Debtor: The paperwork must be wrong I was only trying to open the account. I didn't think you would do it. C'mon can you make it go away.
Me: Well I made it go to your credit report and it's being reported to chex systems.
Debtor: You f**king b*tch, let me talk to your boss I never opened an account there!

Yup people like that on a daily basis.

 

LOL those are good ones, the ones at work that make my day is when i have a patient that cant even walk yet and they try to leave the hospital AMA (against medical advice), i had one the other day...i enter the room...
Him: i want to go home
ME: you arent ready to go home you have a trach, tube in your stomach and cant walk
Him: i dont care give me a paper to sign myself out and my family will pick me up
Me: let me call your wife if you have a way to leave then ill bring the paper however i can not assist you in anyway other then that.

I call his wife and she says no way in hell hes coming home and transfer the call to the room so he can talk to her...so he gets off the phone...
Him: my wife is coming to pick me up
Me: She told me she wasnt, i can call and ask her again
Him: No its ok

After that i had to call the doctor and she came and talked to him and it only got worse...
Dr: Whats wrong Mr. X
Him: i want to go home people are choking me and punching me

No need to go on...you get the point