Florida Man Strikes Again, and This Time It Involves a Red Corvette

Like Metallica said, “Give me fuel, give me fire, give me double the Percocet, marijuana, heroin, and cocaine.”

Oh, wait, no, no it didn’t. But one thing is for sure, if Florida Man wasn’t listening to Metallica’s “Fuel” when driving a red Corvette through narrow city streets at 100 mph we’d be very, very disappointed. Thankfully for the citizens of the City of Ocala, Florida Man is now in jail.

According to the Village-News, David Whitlow was severely intoxicated when he was pulled over by the Marion County Sheriff’s Office. Not only that, but he was driving with a suspended license, fake tags, and allegedly possessed a baggie with a “green leafy substance” or so the local news outlet calls it. A glass crack pipe was also found on his person while being checked into the county jail.

But wait, there’s more! Whitlow confessed to having taken Percocet, cocaine, marijuana, and heroin before boarding the red Corvette and terrorizing the townspeople. It’s not clear what year or type of Corvette Whitlow was piloting, but it’s safe to say that he would’ve been a danger to himself and others on a darn Power Wheels, let a lone a freaking Corvette.

Despite his bail being set at $9,000, we’re sure it won’t be long until Florida Man strikes again.

Be safe out there, folks!