I have an 07 Monte Carlo SS
Car won't start:
keys are now locked in the "on" position
radio will come on
no dome lights
no headlights

and these results were both with my 1 year old AND Brand new red top battery!!
What gives?
please any help would be greatly appreciated

 

seems like your ignition switch might be fucked but first i would check all related fuses and relays, try disconnecting the battery again and repeat. also try using a long nail underneath the steering column underside of the ignition switch theres a hole which is detent if your key ever gets stuck. Thats a common issue with some older GP's it might hold true for you. best of luck

 

Sounds like the 2 amp passlock 3 fuse in the underhood fuse box or the main ignition fuse check them and pull the power off the fuse box for atleast ten mins hope this helps

 

yeah I will try that, thanks!

Updated: my headlights are now coming on
but no interior lights
no power windows, nor locks.

but like I said, I will try that and let you know,...

 

If the battery is brand new, it could simply have been sold in a discharged state with enough charge to start the car a few times. Try jumping the car or testing the battery. That the easiest first step IMO. Also make sure the battery connections are secure. These cars are all pretty much controlled with the body module when it comes to lighting so there are not many direct switched links to the battery like older cars.

 

UPDATED: okay so I hear this clicking sound in the fusebox (under the hood), whenever I connect the negative cable to the battery. what gives?

 

Probably a relay

 

Check also the main battery body ground under hood by pass headlight there is also a main power fuse for the (bcm) Body Control Module In the pass kick panel. Your problem to me really seems like u have a power issue in the car some where. Has anyone done any work lately like stereo alarms ect..

 

UPDATED:
No but I remember when I hooked the negative cable back up, that's when the SHTF......I gave up and took it to the Dealer and they claimed it was the BCM. Gosh, I wish I would have seen your post before giving up on it, I've been so damn busy tho. Now she is back here at home. Runs good but guess what? No lights to the gages and door lock lights. Other interior lights such as dome/floor/radio/steering wheel lights are on. Even the seatbelt/check engine/fog light/traction off-on could light up....what gives??