Toonz

iTrader: (6)

I've read through this entire post tonight and had to laugh at a lot of the generalizations. Some good/bad points made by just about everyone. Personally, I have seen the good/bad with all the branches as well, but still have respect for them for what they do. We all get the job done, quite well I might add.

I'm one of the contractors that most of the Military guys despise on deployments. Most people think I'm overpaid and I'm only here for a paycheck. They couldn't be more wrong. I am prior service, but once I got out I realized my calling wasn't over and I wanted to keep supporting the Military. I'm on my 2nd tour in Afghanistan, this one starting in March of 2005. I love my job and know that what I do makes a difference. I run 85+ servers on 3 networks at the HQ and make sure that the comms are good so **** can get done. Since the end of May I've been doing this on my own when the other guy decided to go home without a notice. (He's the reason many of us get the bad rep) I bust my *** an average of 90-100 hours a week if not more. I take as much pride in what I do as you guys that are still wearing the uniform. I salute every fallen brother of mine that rolls by in the Humvee with a flag drapped over his coffin. There's not a day go by that I don't pray for the safe return of my brothers and sisters fighting the front lines. I respect anyone wearing the uniform, whether it's past or present. You've all got my support... litterally and physically.

Vee 6

I'm sure you all have seen this before but still I find it funny and somewhat true....


Oaths of Enlistment
All persons, upon entering the Military Service and upon reenlistment are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chief's of Staff:

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me and I am afraid of water over waist deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training" I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!



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Signature Date


US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a Court Martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!



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Signature Date


US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer and for **** Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 hours every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930 hours. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!



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Signature Date


US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (have someone recite your name for you), swear.. uhhhh.... high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....ugh... Air Force women.... HOORAH! So Help Me CORPS.!



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Thumb Print X Date


COAST GUARD OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Gilligan , swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the COAST GUARD, because I want to hang out with Merchant Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, I didn't want to have to cut my hair for the Marines, and the US Navy leaves the United States and has big ships, and because I thought, "Hey, I don't want to leave home anyway?" I promise to wear clothes that look like the Air Force because the Coast Guard couldn't come up with their own uniform. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Coast Guard acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0930 hours every morning at the local doughnut shop and talk about how great it is not to be a real service and fight any wars. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a dinging being tossed around in a thunder strom, and still not spill a drop. I consent to not being promoted like the real military. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Department of Transportation!



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Signature Date



>>>One correction to the AF one...the bike test is no longer the official PT test....they actually have to run, do situps and pushups.

Rodney<---13 years Air Force

Vee 6

Air Force joke a friend sent me.


Airman vs. Soldier

There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord AFB to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord AFB. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.

The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,....."Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"

Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, ..... "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"

The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says,...... "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals"

The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says,

"You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck"

So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.

He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship"

The Army guy replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!"

The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

Malicious

iTrader: (1)

Haha the oaths of enlistment were good for a chuckle Do close friends in other branches not call each other by their first names? =O I mean I'd never call my superiors by their first names but people I'm friends with that are SIMILAR rank I'll call by their first name....and yeah tyhe AF bike test was dumb, regardless of in shape or not, smoke a cigarette 10 mins before the test and you'd pass everytime. I knew people that ran marathons and lifted daily and couldnt pass the bike test Fortunately our test is similar enough to the Army's where we MIGHT not get as bad of a rap anymore

longrange4u

iTrader: (2)

Hahahahha.... nice oaths.

Hey fellas.... to me, honestly... My pride is in that I serve my country. All of you regardless of rank, gender, branch or anything else are contributors to your country... so I am proud of what you do as well. This is America... and it is what it is because of people that are willing to give themselves to this country, regardless of your motivation to join, or what you believe politically... Thanks to all that serve!!!

SCRWS6

The oaths were great, that was a lot of **** talking the first few pages. 11 bang bang for the first 3 years of my career in the Army!!!!!!!!! Now recruiter........ have an uncle in the Marines, another one in the Airforce, another one ex Army, and my Grandfather was in the Navy. All the services are great, if we didn`t have a selection, there would be alot more college dropouts without jobs. Face it some people need the buffet.....its the American way

sgt0704

iTrader: (3)

the one thing i love the most is being a Marine. Not being a "member".

sgt0704

iTrader: (3)

I found this to be bullshit.. I was watching some Presidental speach, and when he finished, he shook he hands of the Army Commander, the Navy Admiral, and the Airforce Commander. He straight passed the CMC. What kind of bull **** is that?

craparo

iTrader: (3)

c'mon sgt marines know our branch is treated at the bottom. we do the **** work, so get treated like ****. love it, but we still do the coolest **** regardless

sgt0704

iTrader: (3)

indeed

KdubFL

+1 to what he said ^

slowpoke96z28

iTrader: (2)

NightWindDriftr

iTrader: (4)

I think that the AF provides an important contribution to the war. Although it's viewed mainly as support, the AF is responsible for a lot. Air lift, TIC response, SFs augmenting Army MPs, and so on.

What you do, where you do it, and how long you do it for really depends on your job.

If you're a Marine, of course you're on the frontlines. First to fight, and these are some of the most disciplined people I've ever seen. Those dudes earn their bragging rights.

If you're a Soldier, you can expect to be part of a sustaining force and the "jack of all trades". And when I see these guys refill their battle-damaged convoys at the JP-8 station, I know they earn their stripes.

If you're a Sailor, you know that you might as well be considered "constantly deployed" with all the sea duty you have to do. Ships aren't the most comfortable place to be seeing the world in, and coming from a Navy family, I know how often you guys AREN'T home. Your ratings are well-deserved.

And if you're an Airman, you can expect to play a more supportive role in a war. The AF is the premier air power of our military, and with that comes the responsibility of responding to TICs and self-sustenance (AGE, HVAC, DIGS, COMM, SATCOM, RADAR, OPS, the docs, and security forces). TACP guys roll with the Army, and PJs jump on the CSAR missions as everyone else. Our stripes, well, we wait long enough to get 'em as it is!

Today's war is more integrated, service-wise, than any other in the past. We've had plenty of time to gauge the demands of combat, and have had that same time to identify who contributes what to the fight. Who does it better or more, is merely a matter of pride more-so than it is of capability.

Your average Soldier is going to work harder than your average Airman, physically. But in no way does that mean that the Airman's contribution to the fight is any less important than the Soldier's. There is more to fighting than shooting marksman and holding quals on the most weapons, or mobilizing operations modules and JTIDS modules to control aircraft.

I myself am a radar operator, and I realize the joint contribution everyone makes, from the Flightline management office near H6, to the PASS & ID office near DFAC #2, to the Army/AF gate guards around Balad AB/LSA Anaconda, to the convoys headed out the gate for their n-teenth time out.

And it makes me proud to see us all on the same side.

Toonz

iTrader: (6)

That was VERY well put!

BigT2002

iTrader: (2)

I'm USAF, my cousin is a Capt. in the Marines, two of my cousins are E-6's in the Navy and another cousin is E-5 Army Ranger. That alone makes for fun moments during thanksgiving when we all attempt to get together lol. Not to mention the countless friend across the board in every branch. I crack jokes as they do just to poke fun at one another, nothing serious. Only time I get lippy is when I meet someone who doesn't give my branch the respect they deserve (saw a lot of that at Ramstein). When that happens, I like to put them in their place as only someone who controls every flight in and out of the AOR to go back home...gotta love being the working at the busiest en-route lol.

crazysquid

iTrader: (13)

Regardless, we're all the department of defense and will always bust eachother's ***** My Dad was a pilot in the Navy, Oldest brother was an Army Ranger, Middle Brother was Force Recon in the Marines. I’ll admit that I called both my brothers when I graduated boot camp and told them how much of a joke the Navy’s boot camp was. I worked on H-60’s on active duty in the Navy but now I’m trying to do aircrew on C-130’s in the reserves since it’s the closest aircraft job around for squid’s. My civilian job is getting the new AH-1Z Viper and UH-1Y Venom implemented into the Marines arsenal. The Marines were already bad *** before, now we just made them even more lethal.

For you Jarheads: Your new aircrafts’ slogan is “We made it beautiful because it’s the last thing some people will ever see”

MARINE:
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential
My *** Rides In Navy Equipment

NAVY:
Never Again Volunteer Yourself
Need any Vaseline Yet

ARMY:
Aren’t Really Men Yet
Aren’t Ready to be Marines Yet

AIR FORCE:
An Ignorant Reject ****** On Really Crappy Equipment

MUSTANGBRKR02

iTrader: (91)

sounds like you took the easy way out!

Recon_1_17

By the time i'm done with Iraq, I will have 18 months straight. My unit is the 172nd Stryker Brigade. 1st Battalion of the 17th Infantry Regiment. Best damn unit in the regular army. And we have the numbers to prove it.

msgZ28

iTrader: (1)

You may have the numbers, but you guys still spelled striker wrong.

BigT2002

iTrader: (2)

USAF and I'm very proud of my branch and its service. Anytime I get upset and feel as if what I'm doing is bullshit, I remember what everyone else is doing over there and around the world and it keeps me in check day in and day out.