Moral Delimma

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Old May 30, 2005 | 12:22 AM
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Okay, so I went to a bar with a friend , his girlfriend, and some of their old high school friends last night. There was a girl that has been off and on dating one of my friend's friends. I've seen her around a few times and we aways end up talking most of the time we're together. Well, last night she gave me her number and told me to call her. Now, I down know the guy she's dating very well, but we do hang out in the same circle. From what I've heard from her, they aren't "really" dating right now, but others have told me they are. So, do I call or not? We were both sober last night so I know it wasn't a drunken mistake. I can't really talk to my friends about this because it will get back to the guy, and since they have all been boys since high school, I'll be the "bad guy." Now I can honestly say that I didn't anything out of the ordinary. I am notorious for talking to people when we go out, especially attractive girls. I just can't figure out if it is worth it. If I get with this girl, I've pretty much excluded myself from the circle. I'm pretty sure somebody on this board has been in this same situation, so I'm depending on some good feedback. In case it helps, she is smart, and hot as hell. Two quaulities I really look for in a girl.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 12:33 AM
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you can always call and talk, didn't say anything about dating.
next time the group has a get together and you see her with him stop calling
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Old May 30, 2005 | 12:36 AM
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Simple.. Do you see yourself hangin' with your friends in a year, or her? That's how you gotta look at it. Hell, for that matter, what's wrong with asking the guy she's "kinda dating" what's goin on - you don't need to tell him the whole story, but you should at least know what's going on. Another part of me says that if she'll do it to him...
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Old May 30, 2005 | 12:45 AM
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I've been in an identical situation before.

Good friend of mine had a buddy with a hot girlfriend. Sometimes that couple would be in our 'circle' of friends and go out with us once in a while. Anyways, they broke up eventually, and a few months down the road I saw the girl at a bar, and we exchanged numbers. Went out a couple times, and I told my buddy about it. He got all pissed off because she was an ex of his friend. I'm like WTF?! That dude she was dating wasn't a friend of mine, and it had been a few months, and they were broke up.

It was a nice score. My buddy got over it. His friend got a little angry about it, but I told him he could blow me. I hate ****-blocker guys

Tony
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Old May 30, 2005 | 12:59 AM
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The only problem I have with this, is that they still hang out. Now I can't and don't know what goes on when I'm not around, so I don't know if they're still "together", or just are still friends.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 12:59 AM
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Just talk to her for a while. Get to know each other while to try to find out what's the deal with the "boyfriend". Or you could avoid the crowd of friends for a while and take her word on it and if your friends come up to you all pissed you can say, "how was I suppose to know. I haven't been around yall in a while and besides she told me they were broken up". Then they'll probably tell you that she's playing you. I don't know where you go from there, but that's what I did one time. Might lose a "friend" here or there, but notice I use the quotation marks....not a real friend. Good luck
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Old May 30, 2005 | 01:00 AM
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Oh yeah, it would be a, uh, nice score also.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 01:00 AM
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just call her, see what her side of the story is. The ONLY thing I'd tell you to look out for is if this girl is a game player and is just trying to make her ex jealous by seeing you. Don't get caught up in that mess, make sure he is 100% out of the picture first.

Tony
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Old May 30, 2005 | 02:41 AM
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Bro's before hoes, 'nuff said. Nothing but trouble can come from this, I hate to say...
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Old May 30, 2005 | 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Stang Man
Bro's before hoes, 'nuff said. Nothing but trouble can come from this, I hate to say...
yeah, but that only applies when you are talking about a friend's ex. That unwritten law is zapped if it is just a "friend of a friend". I wouldn't have a problem with a friend of a friend dating one of my ex's, so the same should be the other way around too.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Nine Ball
yeah, but that only applies when you are talking about a friend's ex. That unwritten law is zapped if it is just a "friend of a friend". I wouldn't have a problem with a friend of a friend dating one of my ex's, so the same should be the other way around too.
You've got a point, but it really depends on the maturity level of the group, as a whole. And since he said he is the "new" guy to the group, ie he hasn't been with them since the very beginning, it might be tough for him to find some backing from the other friends. Its a really hard call to make...

On another note. I'm not sure I'd wanna get involved with a girl that tries to be involved with more than one guy at a time. That just screams attention ***** to me
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Old May 30, 2005 | 09:19 AM
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Stab em
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Old May 30, 2005 | 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Nine Ball
The ONLY thing I'd tell you to look out for is if this girl is a game player and is just trying to make her ex jealous by seeing you.
seen that happen to many people
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Old May 30, 2005 | 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by BigSteele
seen that happen to many people
Same here. Been there..done that. I always get caught up is something like that. Just make 100% sure she's nothing more than friends with him, as in not sleeping around with him. Nothing wrong with calling her. Then you can get some details about the situation with him.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 02:20 PM
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I say don't worry about it. If she says it's over with that other guy then she's fair game. It's not like he's your best buddy. If it was one of your good friend's girlfriend then I wouldn't do it.

You might want to ask him in a non-chalant way if they are still dating, then if they're not, then go for it (go for the girl I mean )
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Old May 30, 2005 | 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by BigSteele
seen that happen to many people

You can sniff that one out by going on a couple of dates with her. If she talks about her ex alot, she's playing games. If not, she's moved on....

Don't take it all too seriously I say. Just hang out...
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Old May 30, 2005 | 02:31 PM
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Well, I called her and we are supposed to go to dinner tonight. I guess I'll try the friends thing with her, even though I've never been able to stay just friends with a girl. If the guy asks me what's going on, I can honestly say we went out as friends.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 05:42 PM
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since they don't know you too well in the group, tell the others you are gay. Then ride it like a pony, lol.
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Old May 30, 2005 | 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Nine Ball
since they don't know you too well in the group, tell the others you are gay. Then ride it like a pony, lol.
Good thinkin'!
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Old May 30, 2005 | 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Nine Ball
since they don't know you too well in the group, tell the others you are gay. Then ride it like a pony, lol.
Is that why txhorns281 went public?
txhorns281 confession
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