Need some Father Advice
05-19-2009, 11:42 PM
#1
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Need some Father Advice Hey guys, my ex and i recently (11 weeks) had a beautifull baby girl, by far the best day of my life.... After she was born things went south with her mother and we split, well i wasnt working and couldnt afford to take her to court as she was keeping her from me, wouldnt respond to my calls, nor let me come and see her, well ive had enough and am literally driving myself crazy missing my daughter...so tomorrow i am going to court to file a motion for visitation and chile support, can you guys give me some advice as to what i can expect to happen/past experiences, i dont mind paying at all i just wanna see my kid, thanks alot guys!
05-20-2009, 12:37 AM
#2
That will be a good jesture on your part. Are you working? Did you sign the paper work in the hospital? Birth certificate? Just because you aren't working doesn't mean you can't see your kid. Does she work? Because there's no reason why you couldn't baby sit your own kid. Goodluck !
05-20-2009, 08:04 AM
#4
You are the father, you will get some form of court ordered visitation rights. If she denies you seeing your daughter once the visitation in in place, you call the police and show them the court order and she'll go to jail if she still refuses to let you see your child. I have no idea how child support will work if you have no job. If its minimal to nothing due to no income, she'll just go back to court and ask for it to be reviewed again the minute she knows you have income again.
05-20-2009, 10:13 AM
#5
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im working, just not full time lik ei was, and i mean id give everything i have to see her, i mean i cant get this time back
Little88 - i signed all hospital papers/birth certificate
Formula - ill definately take his info! Thank You
Thanks SilverGhost
Little88 - i signed all hospital papers/birth certificate
Formula - ill definately take his info! Thank You
Thanks SilverGhost
05-20-2009, 01:01 PM
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If she tries to stall or screw you around, request the judge order a dna test.
Once you have that, you are both equal parents. Unless you have a bad record I should say.
As mentioned, you making the effort is a very strong gesture that you will be there for the long haul.
Hopefully you get a judge that looks equally at mother & father.
I got mine 20+ years ago, the father always lost back then.
Good luck, & keep perfect records of everything, this may take a while, sorry.
.
If she tries to stall or screw you around, request the judge order a dna test.
Once you have that, you are both equal parents. Unless you have a bad record I should say.
As mentioned, you making the effort is a very strong gesture that you will be there for the long haul.
Hopefully you get a judge that looks equally at mother & father.
I got mine 20+ years ago, the father always lost back then.
Good luck, & keep perfect records of everything, this may take a while, sorry.
.
05-20-2009, 04:25 PM
#7
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Best of luck man, just don't do anything out of emotion that could hurt you. I hate hearing about stuff like she's doing to you, but good to hear what you're doing.
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05-20-2009, 07:59 PM
#8
![Ethan[ws6]'s Avatar](https://ls1tech.com/forums/customavatars/avatar139269_2.gif){kind=avatar}
**** her. Typical ******* woman. Take out a loan if you have to, but don't let her get away with your kid. I would spend every penny for the next 5 years on this if it were me. Not only to get my kid back but to put that bitch down as well...
Just thinking out loud. I hate when women get a chance at some control and jump on it :/
Just thinking out loud. I hate when women get a chance at some control and jump on it :/
05-21-2009, 11:49 PM
#10
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Thanks for all the support guys, two days ago i went and filed a summons for visitation, so the sheriff will serve her papers and we have to go to court, unfortunate thing is the court date is not until september, is there any way i can get it moved up? Thats way to long to not see my baby girl.... Im just glad shell have to face the music, wish i could see her face when the sheriff is at her door.... now i been sending her money orders,,,,should i switch to personal checks or just keep using the money orders?
Again guys i appreciate all the support is sure helps a guy when hes in a situation like this! Band Of Brothers!!!!
Again guys i appreciate all the support is sure helps a guy when hes in a situation like this! Band Of Brothers!!!!
05-22-2009, 08:57 AM
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You needed to file for an emergency hearing. It's been 20 plus years & I don't remember the details on how.
Mine did it to me for taking John Jr to the grove. She went in & complained I left the state.
She put in her papers I left the state & went to a horse track??
They gave her a hearing in 2-3 days, but then it was thrown out for lying.
Maybe you can get some up to date legal advice if they still do the immediate hearings??
Good luck.
.
You needed to file for an emergency hearing. It's been 20 plus years & I don't remember the details on how.
Mine did it to me for taking John Jr to the grove. She went in & complained I left the state.
She put in her papers I left the state & went to a horse track??
They gave her a hearing in 2-3 days, but then it was thrown out for lying.
Maybe you can get some up to date legal advice if they still do the immediate hearings??
Good luck.
.
05-22-2009, 08:59 AM
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I used money orders, because I switched banks when I threw her out.
I kept the condo, so she knew where I lived, but I switched everything else.
I wanted her to have the least amount of info on me as possible.
.
I used money orders, because I switched banks when I threw her out.
I kept the condo, so she knew where I lived, but I switched everything else.
I wanted her to have the least amount of info on me as possible.
.
05-24-2009, 11:19 AM
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If there are no lawyers around here, you need to find one.
Even if it's a free online place that will answer a ?? for you.
Like I said, I don't know how she did it, but they made me show up with only 2-3 days notice.
You just need to get in there asap, so the judge can get it in writing.
NO MOVING, no hiding the kid, no telling you something & then not going through with it.
Mine used to love making me lose a days pay & then not show up.
Go find out how they do the emergency hearing & do it today. Online, 1800 free lawyer, just do something.
Get the dna order asap also, once you are the government recognized dad, you SHOULD be equals.
Good luck.
.
If there are no lawyers around here, you need to find one.
Even if it's a free online place that will answer a ?? for you.
Like I said, I don't know how she did it, but they made me show up with only 2-3 days notice.
You just need to get in there asap, so the judge can get it in writing.
NO MOVING, no hiding the kid, no telling you something & then not going through with it.
Mine used to love making me lose a days pay & then not show up.
Go find out how they do the emergency hearing & do it today. Online, 1800 free lawyer, just do something.
Get the dna order asap also, once you are the government recognized dad, you SHOULD be equals.
Good luck.
.
05-25-2009, 09:13 AM
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my situation could help you
i had a daughter with then g/f, she left me for another woman, dont say a word i know, left me with 50 plus k in debt, took my kid, got a lawyer, we did a emergency custody hearing, i got my kid back in 2 days, came back to me filthy, in the paper work it said she lives with me from 8am to 9pm mom see`s her when she wants too
well her mom is a worthless human being, and its been like this for yrs, well just recently like the day before x-mas once again were in my basement iam talking to her calmly telling her ya gotta help me out ya gotta be her mom not a friend, she proceddes to escalate the situation when i asked her to help me out with support
oh no what does she do she goes to vegas for a week, then goes to the dells to ski, she gets her nails done weekly, what a waste of space she is
since we split i have talked to this woman over and over and over again, to be more in her life, she refuses to be a mother but instead a friend, so when she stomps upstairs yelling and screaming and called me a ******* in front of my kid, that was the last straw for me
after the new yr i hired another lawyer, now right from the get go i had the upper hand becasue my kid lives with me and we already had court ordered paper work, so in feburary we went to court the maywood district the judge looked over my lawyer did her job, and he awared me temporary residentional custody
now before i go any deeper i will say this and its working for me and you should do it too, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING SHE DOES!!!! every phone call every bad word everything, it will save your *** trust me i will get to this in a few here
so after the first hearing, the ex by law has to be served and i filled for child support, 2 weeks after she was served with the court order, so she sends me a nasty text message, i saved it and documented it i will tell you more in a few, now child support is retroactive since the day of filling
the next hearing came real quick thank god i have the same judge he is pro-male, good for me but the law is on the mans side too now, anyways,,,,,,,,,,and up to this point i have documented everything, phone calls i mean everything, and i have allot of dirt on the ex as well, another strike on her, judge looks everything over, my lawyer does her thing, BOOM! order switched to temporary physical custody, child support is still going retroactive, child support is 20% of take home pay
and just recently anothe court date happened on the 14th of this month, again kept documentaion of everything she has done, she was there with her "husband" ya gets married in front of a judge and never invovled her own kid, or her other 2 kids that she lost custody of,
so we established iam the dad shes the mom, signed off we worked out times so she can see her kid, she lives in a house with 5 people!! get to that later too, i declined that offer of overnites with her mom, as we stand in front of the judge she asks for more time to get a lawyer, sure no problem, for the child support i had to fill out a 10 page financial form, its the law have to do so does her mom well she had up to the 14th to do this and never did, the judge looks over my kept records of everything she did, when he read the "*******" comment she made, wow did he give it to her, its proving the om to be unfit a bad situation a bad enviroment for the child
why??? becasue she claimed my child on her taxes, whenn by law the custodial parent has all legal rights to claim the child and the non-custodial parent would have to present me the form to sign off on to claim the child, she never did this just claimed her
judge saw this saw my records, her mom was stabbing in the air trying to bad mouth me, didnt happen, see`s for the past 10 yrs of my kids life my kid is 13 now, she has lived under my roof, now i get to the laws point, the law says this it is in the childs best interest to stay with a parent who is stable, provides a home, goes to school, in the town the dad lives in, goes to chruch in dads town
a judge or the law will not give custody to a parent who has a unstable enviroment, a un-known enviroment, so when her mom is trying to talk to the judge he cuts her right off proceedes to tell her the way it is the illionios law, tells her she has until next friday to return paper work if she doesnt she is iin comtempt of court and a warrant for her arrest is made
judge awards me temporary SOLE custody, until furthur court orderd,
next date is june 26th, so you need a lawyer, need to get emrgency hearing, your lawyer should fight for unknown conditions, keeping the child away, fight for visitation, then the process will begin, if you win some sort of custody if her mom just takes her with out you knowing, guess what its kidnapping, she goes to jail, becasue you are the custodial parent,
if its nasty you can also have a restraining order on her its what i did she is not allowed 50 feet from my house, you can do it too if you win, i did it due to the fact that she is brain washing my kid and i had to stop it
my lawyer is located in oakpark,il this is her field of law, she works with your money situation, i pay her 50 bucks a week, and am going to fix her car for her when all this is done, and shes a fighter she will fight for you so you have either your kid or equal visitation, if need be you can contact me and i can gt you in touch with her
i wish you all the best of luck i really do just dont do anything stupid as it will be used against you remain calm, and do it the legal way
i had a daughter with then g/f, she left me for another woman, dont say a word i know, left me with 50 plus k in debt, took my kid, got a lawyer, we did a emergency custody hearing, i got my kid back in 2 days, came back to me filthy, in the paper work it said she lives with me from 8am to 9pm mom see`s her when she wants too
well her mom is a worthless human being, and its been like this for yrs, well just recently like the day before x-mas once again were in my basement iam talking to her calmly telling her ya gotta help me out ya gotta be her mom not a friend, she proceddes to escalate the situation when i asked her to help me out with support
oh no what does she do she goes to vegas for a week, then goes to the dells to ski, she gets her nails done weekly, what a waste of space she is
since we split i have talked to this woman over and over and over again, to be more in her life, she refuses to be a mother but instead a friend, so when she stomps upstairs yelling and screaming and called me a ******* in front of my kid, that was the last straw for me
after the new yr i hired another lawyer, now right from the get go i had the upper hand becasue my kid lives with me and we already had court ordered paper work, so in feburary we went to court the maywood district the judge looked over my lawyer did her job, and he awared me temporary residentional custody
now before i go any deeper i will say this and its working for me and you should do it too, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING SHE DOES!!!! every phone call every bad word everything, it will save your *** trust me i will get to this in a few here
so after the first hearing, the ex by law has to be served and i filled for child support, 2 weeks after she was served with the court order, so she sends me a nasty text message, i saved it and documented it i will tell you more in a few, now child support is retroactive since the day of filling
the next hearing came real quick thank god i have the same judge he is pro-male, good for me but the law is on the mans side too now, anyways,,,,,,,,,,and up to this point i have documented everything, phone calls i mean everything, and i have allot of dirt on the ex as well, another strike on her, judge looks everything over, my lawyer does her thing, BOOM! order switched to temporary physical custody, child support is still going retroactive, child support is 20% of take home pay
and just recently anothe court date happened on the 14th of this month, again kept documentaion of everything she has done, she was there with her "husband" ya gets married in front of a judge and never invovled her own kid, or her other 2 kids that she lost custody of,
so we established iam the dad shes the mom, signed off we worked out times so she can see her kid, she lives in a house with 5 people!! get to that later too, i declined that offer of overnites with her mom, as we stand in front of the judge she asks for more time to get a lawyer, sure no problem, for the child support i had to fill out a 10 page financial form, its the law have to do so does her mom well she had up to the 14th to do this and never did, the judge looks over my kept records of everything she did, when he read the "*******" comment she made, wow did he give it to her, its proving the om to be unfit a bad situation a bad enviroment for the child
why??? becasue she claimed my child on her taxes, whenn by law the custodial parent has all legal rights to claim the child and the non-custodial parent would have to present me the form to sign off on to claim the child, she never did this just claimed her
judge saw this saw my records, her mom was stabbing in the air trying to bad mouth me, didnt happen, see`s for the past 10 yrs of my kids life my kid is 13 now, she has lived under my roof, now i get to the laws point, the law says this it is in the childs best interest to stay with a parent who is stable, provides a home, goes to school, in the town the dad lives in, goes to chruch in dads town
a judge or the law will not give custody to a parent who has a unstable enviroment, a un-known enviroment, so when her mom is trying to talk to the judge he cuts her right off proceedes to tell her the way it is the illionios law, tells her she has until next friday to return paper work if she doesnt she is iin comtempt of court and a warrant for her arrest is made
judge awards me temporary SOLE custody, until furthur court orderd,
next date is june 26th, so you need a lawyer, need to get emrgency hearing, your lawyer should fight for unknown conditions, keeping the child away, fight for visitation, then the process will begin, if you win some sort of custody if her mom just takes her with out you knowing, guess what its kidnapping, she goes to jail, becasue you are the custodial parent,
if its nasty you can also have a restraining order on her its what i did she is not allowed 50 feet from my house, you can do it too if you win, i did it due to the fact that she is brain washing my kid and i had to stop it
my lawyer is located in oakpark,il this is her field of law, she works with your money situation, i pay her 50 bucks a week, and am going to fix her car for her when all this is done, and shes a fighter she will fight for you so you have either your kid or equal visitation, if need be you can contact me and i can gt you in touch with her
i wish you all the best of luck i really do just dont do anything stupid as it will be used against you remain calm, and do it the legal way
Last edited by bdyman; 05-25-2009 at 09:19 AM.
05-26-2009, 10:19 PM
#16
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hi guys any idea how long it takes for the sheriffs office to serve her the papers? And will i get notice when she does get served? Keep me in your prayers guys im havin a real rough time with this, i appreciate it