Cat poop
05-02-2005, 11:30 PM
#1
Cat poop I dont think I have ever smelled anything that smelled as punget as the combo of cat poop & ****. It has brought me to the point of actually wrecthing.
I digress, last night we left the garage open a little later than we normally do. Around 9pm the wife pulled the burb into the garage. At around 1130 pm last night I go to the garage to get something to drink. As soon as I opened the garage door I knew something was awry. There was a smell I just couldnt place. I couldnt put my finger on it but it just had CAT written all over it. Me being tired and not expecting didnt think to much of it. That was until I saw a white streak move across the top of the suburban headed straight to the open door to the house. It happened so fast and I only saw it out of the corner of my eye it shot my heart rate into the stratosphere. I immediately gave chase. The cat (a pure white, long hiar persian) was going to reach its demise by my hand. Upon entering the house I announced to the wife that a cat was in the house as I chased it up the stairs. Just as I cleared mass on the stairs I see "white lightning" going straight for the master bedroom. "OH ****" Not what I need, my wife doesnt care for animals in the house and now we have a long hiarded persian bolting around. All I could picture was myself vacuuming for days on end to make sure we get all of its nastyness out of the carpet. I entered the room and the wife just pionted in a general direction of the bathroom. Perfect, the thing went right passed the "armory". I grab my KABAR and head into the bathroom ready to turn public enemy #1 into teriyaki strips. The animal was cornered with no where to go. In a last ditch effort to evade me it nailed the throttle and flew right passed me back into the bedroom and down the stairs and back into the garage. I got in there with it and closed the door behind me. I thought for second about starting a fur coat for the wife when I saw the paw prints all over the hood of the camaro. But after couple seconds I figured it would be best if I just opened the garage and let it go.
After opening the garage and watching the cat run out I closed it back up, got my drink and went back in.
When I got home from work today I opened the garage door only be hit with a 2x4 of the absolute worst stench on the planet. Apparently prior to public enemy #1's illegal entry into my home he decided to **** and **** in my ******* garage. The smell was borderline overpowering. It reminded me exactly how much I hate cats. To add insult to injury the little ****** just couldnt find a nice piece of cement to deficate on, he had to do it on top of a bag of baby clothing. This was of course AFTER he had scratch a hole the the hefty bag exposing the clothing to its ******* ***. Then he unloaded his bowels right onto it. Basically destroying all its contents. As if this wasnt bad the ****** couldnt keep it contained in one spot. OH **** NO, that would have been to easy. Instead, he pissed all over the clothing, the concrete and the bag of baby clothing next to it.
So now at 930pm I am headed into the garage with clorox, kitchen gloves and my old military ******* gas mask.
Mark my words; if and when I ever see that cat again it it will go to its grave with the thought of its last breath being squeezed out of its **** eating little lungs.
I digress, last night we left the garage open a little later than we normally do. Around 9pm the wife pulled the burb into the garage. At around 1130 pm last night I go to the garage to get something to drink. As soon as I opened the garage door I knew something was awry. There was a smell I just couldnt place. I couldnt put my finger on it but it just had CAT written all over it. Me being tired and not expecting didnt think to much of it. That was until I saw a white streak move across the top of the suburban headed straight to the open door to the house. It happened so fast and I only saw it out of the corner of my eye it shot my heart rate into the stratosphere. I immediately gave chase. The cat (a pure white, long hiar persian) was going to reach its demise by my hand. Upon entering the house I announced to the wife that a cat was in the house as I chased it up the stairs. Just as I cleared mass on the stairs I see "white lightning" going straight for the master bedroom. "OH ****" Not what I need, my wife doesnt care for animals in the house and now we have a long hiarded persian bolting around. All I could picture was myself vacuuming for days on end to make sure we get all of its nastyness out of the carpet. I entered the room and the wife just pionted in a general direction of the bathroom. Perfect, the thing went right passed the "armory". I grab my KABAR and head into the bathroom ready to turn public enemy #1 into teriyaki strips. The animal was cornered with no where to go. In a last ditch effort to evade me it nailed the throttle and flew right passed me back into the bedroom and down the stairs and back into the garage. I got in there with it and closed the door behind me. I thought for second about starting a fur coat for the wife when I saw the paw prints all over the hood of the camaro. But after couple seconds I figured it would be best if I just opened the garage and let it go.
After opening the garage and watching the cat run out I closed it back up, got my drink and went back in.
When I got home from work today I opened the garage door only be hit with a 2x4 of the absolute worst stench on the planet. Apparently prior to public enemy #1's illegal entry into my home he decided to **** and **** in my ******* garage. The smell was borderline overpowering. It reminded me exactly how much I hate cats. To add insult to injury the little ****** just couldnt find a nice piece of cement to deficate on, he had to do it on top of a bag of baby clothing. This was of course AFTER he had scratch a hole the the hefty bag exposing the clothing to its ******* ***. Then he unloaded his bowels right onto it. Basically destroying all its contents. As if this wasnt bad the ****** couldnt keep it contained in one spot. OH **** NO, that would have been to easy. Instead, he pissed all over the clothing, the concrete and the bag of baby clothing next to it.
So now at 930pm I am headed into the garage with clorox, kitchen gloves and my old military ******* gas mask.
Mark my words; if and when I ever see that cat again it it will go to its grave with the thought of its last breath being squeezed out of its **** eating little lungs.
05-02-2005, 11:52 PM
#2
12 Second Club
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Washington State
Posts: 862
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Cat urine is terrible from male cats. I went out to my Z28 one night last year, was pulling out of the driveway and turned the heater on. Started smelling a terrible musty smell and had to put up with it all the way to work. When I finally got to work I smelled it outside the car and the cat had pissed in my vent in the cowl. Luckily I work in a Hospital enviorment and they have industrial odor remover. Poured a bunch all over my windshield and into the cowl and flushed it with water.
05-03-2005, 12:54 AM
#4
Its official, I will kill that cat if I ever see it again. 1/2 gallon of clorox finally got the stench out of the garage. But I went to take the cali duster to the car to clean off the paw prints and they wouldnt come up. They just smeared. I stuck my nose close to it and sure enough the cat could keep its **** in one spot. It decided to trapse through its own urine and then jump on the car and wander all over it. So about 1/2 hour was spent with a soapy rag wiping the car down and drying it off so the caustic cat urine wouldnt eat through the fricken paint.
[littleboyinbrucewillismovie]I see dead cats[/littleboyinbrucewillismovie]
[littleboyinbrucewillismovie]I see dead cats[/littleboyinbrucewillismovie]
05-03-2005, 12:56 AM
#5
I almost spit up my Guinness when I read this... almost. 
And it takes some REAL funny storytelling for me to almost waste good beer.
On a serious note, male cat **** has got to be the worst damn smell on earth... good luck trying to get rid of it. I feel for you on that...
And it takes some REAL funny storytelling for me to almost waste good beer.On a serious note, male cat **** has got to be the worst damn smell on earth... good luck trying to get rid of it. I feel for you on that...
05-03-2005, 01:10 AM
#6
Oh its not just male ****, females don't smell so wonderful either. Cats **** is satans blood. I have three of the *******. Well I have one that has never pissed anywhere but the little box a male. and two females I inheireted with the old lady one of which had some problems when we first all started living together.
Some "Simple Solution" from the pet store with work alot better than that bleach, your just mixing bleach with amonia.
It isn't the cats fault its the dumbass owner that lets it out to get into other people ****.
Some "Simple Solution" from the pet store with work alot better than that bleach, your just mixing bleach with amonia.
It isn't the cats fault its the dumbass owner that lets it out to get into other people ****.
05-03-2005, 04:41 AM
#7
TECH Regular
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Portland OR
Posts: 441
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
too bad you didn't catch the cat
you could've tied it up in your front yard on a short leash so it can cry and scream
eventually someone would get sick of the noise and shoot it, or the owner would come over to claim it.. then you could kick the **** out of them
you could've tied it up in your front yard on a short leash so it can cry and scream
eventually someone would get sick of the noise and shoot it, or the owner would come over to claim it.. then you could kick the **** out of them
Trending Topics
05-03-2005, 08:48 AM
#9
12 Second Club
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 2,923
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
That sucks, my ex-gf's room mate "drove her car back to the apt from the airport" and then proceeded to drive around l.a. with her friends while my ex was in seattle then left the windows down and she came home to her car smelling like cat ****.
05-03-2005, 09:06 AM
#10
TECH Enthusiast
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Moxee
Posts: 609
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Cats are the worst...I will take my wolf Hybrids any day of the week.And my 2dogs are alot of trouble, But that cat i put up with (Because my youngest daughter loves it so much)would go if she ever peed on my car, in my car , or just sniffed it wrong.The torture we endure for our babies. lol
05-03-2005, 12:29 PM
#12
10 Second Club
iTrader: (4)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Marysville, WA
Posts: 9,448
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Steve Goodwin
That was a good laugh, but you really need to start working on your car.
Damn, THAT one is gonna cost me, but I just couldn't resist.
05-03-2005, 03:53 PM
#13
Mark, you are going to hell for that considering I just spewed water all over the monitor and keyboard. I'm not even gonna venture what Boyce will have to say to that...but I did laugh 
We have 5 of the carpet otters and they are all indoor. I keep a spray bottle of Natures Miracle AT ALL TIMES because it literally removes the smell in a few minutes along with the stain. If I don't want the cats around me I just turn up the stereo REALLY LOUD (Rob Zombie is a great one for that) and they hide. They don't venture into the garage. The dog lives there. They don't like the dog. Cat **** on a car is never an issue due to that
We have 5 of the carpet otters and they are all indoor. I keep a spray bottle of Natures Miracle AT ALL TIMES because it literally removes the smell in a few minutes along with the stain. If I don't want the cats around me I just turn up the stereo REALLY LOUD (Rob Zombie is a great one for that) and they hide. They don't venture into the garage. The dog lives there. They don't like the dog. Cat **** on a car is never an issue due to that
05-03-2005, 04:03 PM
#15
TECH Veteran
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Lynnwood, WA (North of Seattle)
Posts: 4,729
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
First things first, I am sorry about your stuff & car. Second, DUDE!!!!!!! You need to be a writer or something.......that **** was FUNNY!! 
FIVE!!!!????!??!?!?!?!??? Are you "The Cat Lady" that every Town must endure?
On a side note, they used to joke at my work about painting lil cat images on the side of my car (like Aces in WWII and so forth) cuz so many of the lil slimy bastages used to get caught under my wheels when I worked........there was more cat grime on the car then criminal grime.
Originally Posted by GEARHED
Mark, you are going to hell for that considering I just spewed water all over the monitor and keyboard. I'm not even gonna venture what Boyce will have to say to that...but I did laugh
We have 5 of the carpet otters and they are all indoor. I keep a spray bottle of Natures Miracle AT ALL TIMES because it literally removes the smell in a few minutes along with the stain. If I don't want the cats around me I just turn up the stereo REALLY LOUD (Rob Zombie is a great one for that) and they hide. They don't venture into the garage. The dog lives there. They don't like the dog. Cat **** on a car is never an issue due to that
We have 5 of the carpet otters and they are all indoor. I keep a spray bottle of Natures Miracle AT ALL TIMES because it literally removes the smell in a few minutes along with the stain. If I don't want the cats around me I just turn up the stereo REALLY LOUD (Rob Zombie is a great one for that) and they hide. They don't venture into the garage. The dog lives there. They don't like the dog. Cat **** on a car is never an issue due to that
On a side note, they used to joke at my work about painting lil cat images on the side of my car (like Aces in WWII and so forth) cuz so many of the lil slimy bastages used to get caught under my wheels when I worked........there was more cat grime on the car then criminal grime.
05-03-2005, 04:14 PM
#16
Originally Posted by Rottluver
First things first, I am sorry about your stuff & car. Second, DUDE!!!!!!! You need to be a writer or something.......that **** was FUNNY!!
FIVE!!!!????!??!?!?!?!??? Are you "The Cat Lady" that every Town must endure?
On a side note, they used to joke at my work about painting lil cat images on the side of my car (like Aces in WWII and so forth) cuz so many of the lil slimy bastages used to get caught under my wheels when I worked........there was more cat grime on the car then criminal grime.
FIVE!!!!????!??!?!?!?!??? Are you "The Cat Lady" that every Town must endure?
On a side note, they used to joke at my work about painting lil cat images on the side of my car (like Aces in WWII and so forth) cuz so many of the lil slimy bastages used to get caught under my wheels when I worked........there was more cat grime on the car then criminal grime.
And yes, everyone teases me I'll be the old lady that is found half eaten by her cats after she died.
Now you might appreciate this.....I rescued a 7 day old kitten while living on Hawthorne Blvd, a friend adopted it and three years later in brand new apartments in the Valley, they caught fire. As usual - the owner skimped and didn't hook up the sprinklers or alarms.
My friend was napping with her three month old son when Max kept biting at her and trying to pull off the blanket. She finally got up to an apartment filled with smoke - got the hell out and rounded up neighbours as she went. The fire melted the dishes in the cabinets and destroyed the bedroom on the opposite side of the apartment.
Max couldn't be found so they thought he died in the fire, three days later when everyone could move back into the lower units he was found on a lani - with two broken front legs. He'd jumped a zig-zag lani from the third floor and ended up there.
Max made the LA times along with the lawsuit being brought against the owner from the residents. My friend was able to afford to buy a house after the insurance settled out
Sometimes cats aren't all bad......but I consider that an exception to the rule.
05-03-2005, 04:18 PM
#18
TECH Veteran
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Lynnwood, WA (North of Seattle)
Posts: 4,729
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by GEARHED
Grossssssssss!!!!!!!!!
And yes, everyone teases me I'll be the old lady that is found half eaten by her cats after she died.
Now you might appreciate this.....I rescued a 7 day old kitten while living on Hawthorne Blvd, a friend adopted it and three years later in brand new apartments in the Valley, they caught fire. As usual - the owner skimped and didn't hook up the sprinklers or alarms.
My friend was napping with her three month old son when Max kept biting at her and trying to pull off the blanket. She finally got up to an apartment filled with smoke - got the hell out and rounded up neighbours as she went. The fire melted the dishes in the cabinets and destroyed the bedroom on the opposite side of the apartment.
Max couldn't be found so they thought he died in the fire, three days later when everyone could move back into the lower units he was found on a lani - with two broken front legs. He'd jumped a zig-zag lani from the third floor and ended up there.
Max made the LA times along with the lawsuit being brought against the owner from the residents. My friend was able to afford to buy a house after the insurance settled out
Sometimes cats aren't all bad......but I consider that an exception to the rule.
And yes, everyone teases me I'll be the old lady that is found half eaten by her cats after she died.
Now you might appreciate this.....I rescued a 7 day old kitten while living on Hawthorne Blvd, a friend adopted it and three years later in brand new apartments in the Valley, they caught fire. As usual - the owner skimped and didn't hook up the sprinklers or alarms.
My friend was napping with her three month old son when Max kept biting at her and trying to pull off the blanket. She finally got up to an apartment filled with smoke - got the hell out and rounded up neighbours as she went. The fire melted the dishes in the cabinets and destroyed the bedroom on the opposite side of the apartment.
Max couldn't be found so they thought he died in the fire, three days later when everyone could move back into the lower units he was found on a lani - with two broken front legs. He'd jumped a zig-zag lani from the third floor and ended up there.
Max made the LA times along with the lawsuit being brought against the owner from the residents. My friend was able to afford to buy a house after the insurance settled out
Sometimes cats aren't all bad......but I consider that an exception to the rule.
He does like a good snack. BTW, glad to hear your friend and her family escaped injury....fires SUCK!
05-03-2005, 06:43 PM
#20
TECH Addict
I've got 3 cats and 2 dogs and like them all. I guess I must be sick huh ?! Anyway Boyce it sounds like that cat was a blessing in disguise ... it DID get you out in your garage for longer than you've been in there for 6 months And you wiping your car down was almost like working on it .... GOOD KITTY !
And you wiping your car down was almost like working on it .... GOOD KITTY !