This isn't my story, but it's funny as hell:

http://jalopnik.com/5191437/autozone...inutes-on-hold

"So I got an event coming up at the local track...should be a fairly fun event and I want to take the truck out. Well....a few weeks ago, due to my own stupidity, I blew my hub seals on my rear end...and due to me catching the ******* flu...and other ****...I never got around to fixing them. So this is the week OF and I need the damn seals, right?

So I call up AutoZone:

"Thank you for calling AutoZone, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'm looking for axle seals of a ford 9" rear end..."
"Oooh. umm...hold on a second...." and he puts me on hold.

....15 minutes later...someone ELSE picks up...

"...umm thank you for calling AutoZone, who are you holding for?"
"I'm holding for someone to help me find some axle seals..."
"Oh.. ummm. Huh.. hold on a second." and HE puts me on hold.

...10 minutes in, I'm getting pissed and I decide that this is a battle of wills. Them waiting for me to hang up....me waiting for them to get tired of the phone beeping and to pick up.

...10 MORE minutes....and I can feel my will about to give in completely to anger. **** THIS! While STILL on hold, I jump in my daily driver and drive my *** up to the AutoZone I'm on hold with!

I get there about 10 minutes later...and there's 4 ******* working...and like two people shopping...and one of them hits me up instantly:

"Welcome to AutoZone, how can I help you?"
...as I walk behind their counter to look for their phone...

"Yeah....do you have someone on hold right now?"
"Uh excuse me?"
...I point at the blinking, beeping phone...
"DO...YOU...HAVE...SOMEONE...ON...HOLD...RIGHT...N OW!?"
"Uhh...I guess so."
"You guess so?? Let me help you. You DO have someone on hold...ME! I've been on hold for 45 ******* minutes! What in the HELL is THAT all about?? Can you give me one good reason why you've had me on hold for almost a ******* hour??"
"Well...uhh..I mean....uhhh...I was waiting for him (he points) to pick up.."
"He DID pick up...and put me right the **** back on hold!"

"Uuhh..err....ahh...ummm..."
"Don't give me any bullshit about how busy you are...there's no one ******* in here! If my ******* question was simply too difficult for you, TELL me."
"Well...what do you need sir?"
"What I needed was axle seals...but what I need NOW is to talk to YOUR ******* manager."
"Yes sir."...and scampers off to get El Jefe....
Manager: "Yes sir, what seems to be the problem?"

...I tell him, "....and I'm STILL on hold!" That's right...I still haven't hung up...

He looks at the phone....picks it up...and says, "Uhh Autzone, may I help you?"
I yell into MY phone, "IT'S ME ******!!!" He jumps and hangs up.
"I'm hoping that isn't your policy here! That if you CAN'T answer the question, just put the person on hold until they hang up?"
"Uh no sir!"
"Well lets see if y'all CAN help me...now that I'm here."
He goes over to the computer...

I tell him, "I need axle seals for a 31 spline ford 9" rear end."
"What's it out of?"
"Hell...i don't know? Almost any 70s ford truck I'm sure."
"Well I need to know what it's out of."
"I do not know..."
"Well what's it in now?"
"That's not gonna help you."
"Sure it is"
"No...it won't. There's no way to search for the rear end?"
"No...so what's it in?"
"A 2001 CHEVY SILVERADO ok?? Does THAT help???"
"No."
"See?"

He connected me with someone at another AutoZone that actually WAS helpful...and I went over there to get the parts..."

 

Thats ****** funny as hell. I've actualy done that before as well, but I didn't go off on the guys that bad. That's why I don't go to autozone. IMO they're tards over there. O'Reilly's all the way!

 

yea that is funny.. funniest part was....

" He looks at the phone....picks it up...and says, "Uhh Autzone, may I help you?"
I yell into MY phone, "IT'S ME ******!!!" He jumps and hangs up"

 

I have read this before, but still funny.

 

There are very few people at AZ that know anything about cars or trucks!

 

That is freakin halarious. So glad I am friends with the manager of the local O'Reilly's.

 

Well let me start by saying I never go to Autozone. I've never had a good experience there.

With that said, I hate how all the chain stores can't function without knowing what kind of vehicle you need the part for. This is especially infuriating in cases like this where there is a lot of custom swapping and fitting of parts.

"I need a tail light bulb for an 01 dodge ram"

"1500, 2500, 3500?"

"2500"

"4x4?"

"Yes"

"Quad cab or regular and what motor do you have? Oh, and I'll also need to know the 2nd letter of your 13'th RPO code too"

"What the **** does this have to do with my tail light bulb!? Just give me a god damn bulb!"

 

This is why you go to Napa.


I only go to Autozone to buy oil (GC).

 

It wouldnt take me too long to get there either, Autozone is right across the street. Yea, I do go there a lot so they know me pretty good. I have been put on hold too but not like that. I was just there actually trying to find some silverstar 3157s for my clear corners.

 

Well in my neck of the woods we only have Advance Auto Parts and Napa. Napa is so over priced it ain't funny. Advance is ok except they still can't function without knowing every god damn detail of my truck.

 

exactly!!!!!!

 

Autozone employee's are fucktards. I called them once looking for plug wires, and they swore up and down that my 1999 FIREBIRD had a 305 in it. wtf????

 

Yeah I am not a big fan of any autoparts store myself. I work at a shop where we build one off hotrods. Sometimes we try to use parts for other cars to work on our cars and its almost impossible for someone to help us out. We can ask them to send us a 2" radiator hose with a 90 degree bend in it, we also tell them we dont care what the rest of the hose looks like, all we need is the 90 degree part. They will send a 1.5" diameter hose that has every angle in it but a 90. From across the parking lot we can tell it isn't even close, but those dumbasses think they are helping build a hotrod.

 

LOL, how could you have "never had a good experience at Autozone" if you claim you "never go to autozone"?

Actually there are quite a few members on this site that are X - workers of parts stores such as Autozone. They say that the systems they use at the stores are annoying because they feel like a dope asking the guy the engine size for a tail light bulb, but its the only way the computer will allow the employee to access the part #.

 

The problem with these stores is that for the most part the pay is terrible. So once employees work there long enough and build up knowledge they leave and work parts at dealerships or shops that pay more...I worked for one of these chains for 5 years and seen this happen time after time

 

I laughed my *** off at the "IT'S ME ******!!!" part. I had to stop reading and remind myself to breath.

 

Well my specific example referred to Advance

 

i work at an autozone and we do have some pretty clueless employees i will say. most times those computers do ask you some dumb questions and the worker askes them not thinking just to get through it. most times, unless the worker is a complete tard, if you work through it with them, you can find what you need. and if you get the wrong part, theres a VERY good chance it was listed in the computer wrong, and theres no way the worker could know any different. and i think i've helped customers that were much worse to deal with than any autozone employee you've ever come across. and i'm not getting bent out of shape or anything, i wouldn't be able to stop laughing if that happened and somebody chewed my boss out while i was working, he's a dick anyways.

 

LMAO thats just what one can expect

 

Seems to be every auto zone mine at christmas times said HAPPY HOLYDAYS in fake snow all over the front